News item, Wall Street Journal - Bank of America apologized after its local contractor entered the home of a mortgage borrower when she was away, cut off utilities, padlocked the door and confiscated her pet parrot, Luke.
Parrots may imitate sounds and voices, including whole sentences, months after overhearing them. Here is what Luke began to say after being in the possession of Bank of America:
"Awk! Foreclose on the widows! Ha ha! Awk!"
"Awk! More bonuses! Bill them to the taxpayer!"
"Conspiracy of international bankers on line one. Awk!"
"Awk! Stephanie, you look hot in that miniskirt. Awk! Would you like to get promoted?"
"Awk! Once we get Rangel off Ways and Means, we need to move on Dodd at Senate Banking. These telephoto pictures should do the trick nicely; leak them to TMZ. Shelby is the minority member, he can be relied on to use our language word-for-word. Ask his staffers if they'd like to go someplace really nice for spring break. Cuban cigar, anyone? Awk!"
"Chinka-chinka-chinka. {Bird imitates ATM sounds.} THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING BANK OF AMERICA. YOUR PENALTY FOR THIS $1 OVERDRAFT IS $25. ALSO, A $45 BILLION PROCESSING FEE HAS BEEN ADDED TO THE NATIONAL DEBT."
"Awk! Put the stacks of $100 bills over there, the pallets of Fort Knox gold over there, and the boxes of blank checks on the desk. You may go now, Mr. Bernanke."
"Awk! Did anybody remember to tip Bernanke?"
"Awk! Forward my calls to the golf course. Awk!"
