Okay, so you guys got into the spirit with the first "Annoying Wine Words," and even called me out for my use of some of those wine words! I admit it, I am guilty as charged. After my last treatise, Snooth member Mlandry burned me for my use of "creamy."
I can break out the science texts and defend myself, or just go with it. So, today I'm gonna do a bit of navel-gazing and regale you with 7 annoying wine words that I abuse -- er, use. And folks, let me just add one thing: if this isn't fun, don't do it. I always say that about wine (whether it's drinking wine, talking wine, making fun of annoying wine words, or sharing wine) -- it's got to be fun, and if it ain't, move on. Nothing to see here anyway, except for 7 more annoying wine words.
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I'd say it again..
Very Annoying
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"So while he is most at home discussing the minutiae of the terroirs of Barolo, he is equally intrigued by the vintage variations of classic California Cabernets or the rankings of Bordeaux classed growths."
Oh the irony...
Yes wine is serious, yadda yadda yadda, but for the vast majority of people out there drinking wine it is a simple pleasure. While people in the wine business must use a vernacular, that doesn't mean it's universal, and it certainly doesn't mean it's not worthy of having some fun with!
I would pick apart all of his objections, but his overwhelming ignorance seems self-evident. Wine appreciation come replete with its own vocabulary, yes; but that doesn't mean you have to know all the words to like the wine. No one is saying that. Someone who doesn't perceive that a wine is "round" can still enjoy the wine, and that's fine. But when experts are talking to experts, sometimes different words are used. If the author had any field of expertise (which is all but unimaginable), then perhaps he'd understand.
Every industry has jargon, useful for conveying ideas in a specific area. If your IT person told you your website is not resolving due to propogation problems stemming from DNS issues on the server, would you scoff and call them a computer snob just because you don't understand?
Just sayin...
John Boehner's ascent to the speakership would be a clear indication of Republicans' supportive tannins.
"Chateau Pierre de la Deceptionaire"=Sneaky Pete
"Made With Scotch Grapes"=Bottled Fermented Wino Whizz
"Wine Cooler"=10 cents of cheap wine, CO2, and stale fruit flavors, sold to a gullible public.
"Newly Discovered"=The vineyard was near Chernobyl.
"Served Chilled"=Otherwise, it's going to irritate your gag reflex.
"Cold Duck"=Overpriced cheap red wine with LOTS of CO2. Burp your way through New Year's!
"California Champange"=A big reason why the French despise us!
"Noble Rot"=A BIGGER reason California winemakers despise the French!
"Austrailan Wines"=Be thankfull the French Nuke-Tipped missiles can't reach Sydney!
"Rich-Girl Wines"= "I Wanna Diamond!" "I Wanna Go To Miami Beach!" "I Wanna Mink!"
"Date-Ready Wines"=If you need liquid courage when you visit that special someone...
"Mad Dog 20/20"=Endorsed by more winos in the County Drunk Tank than any other brand!
"Dago Red"=What every sailor visiting San Diego gets when visiting a wine bar. "Dago" in this case is Cali-speak for San Diego, not the insult terms for Italians.
"Black Tower"=One reason why Germans should stick to brewing beer!
"Cooking Wines"=Wine mixed with salt, used to cook with. Must be really hard-up to want to use as a beverage!
"Non-Alcoholic Wines"=Grape juice with snob appeal. One taste, and you'll be reaching for the real stuff right quick!
"Chella Lambrusco"=You'd be smiling through those commercials too if you drank enough of this!
--RKJ