One of my key realizations about happiness, and a point oddly under-emphasized by positive psychologists, given its emphasis in popular culture, is that outer order contributes to inner calm. More than it should.
After all, in the context of a happy life, a messy desk or house is a trivial problem -- yet I've found, and other people tell me they feel the same way, that getting control of the stuff of life makes me feel more in control of my life generally. (Even if this is an illusion, it's a helpful illusion.)
But as much as most of us want to keep our home, office, car, etc. in reasonable order, it's tough. Here are some myths of de-cluttering that make it harder than it needs to be.
Myths of Cluttering:
1. "I need to get organized." No! This is not your first step! Don't get organized.
2. "The more organized I am, the better." I fully appreciate the pleasure of having a place for everything, and perhaps counterintuitively, I find it easier to put things away in an exact place, rather than a general place ("the third shelf of the coat closet," not "a closet"). However, this impulse can become destructive: If you spend a lot of time alphabetizing your spices or setting up eighty categories for your home library, consider simplifying your approach. Also, some things simply won't stay organized, so it's not even worth trying; I've spent hours sorting magic markers and Calico Critters pieces, only to find everything a jumble the next day.
3. "I need to run out and buy some inventive storage containers." See #1. I love cunning containers as much as anyone, but I've found that if I get rid of everything I don't need, I often don't need a container at all.
4. "I need to find the perfect recipient for everything I'm getting rid of." True, it's easier to let go of things when they're going to a good home, but be wary of letting this kind intention become a source of clutter, itself. I have a friend who has multiple piles all over her house, each lovingly destined for a particular recipient. This is generous and thoughtful, but it contributes mightily to clutter. Try to find one or two good recipients, or create some kind of rigid system for moving stuff along quickly.
5. "I can't get rid of anything that I might possibly need one day." How terrible would it be if you needed a glass jar and didn't have one? Do you need gigantic stores of rubber bands or coffee mugs?
6. "Someday, I might get that gizmo fixed." Face it. If you've had something for more than six months, and it's still not repaired, it's clutter.
7. "After I lose some weight, I'll fit into these clothes again." If you lose a bunch of weight, you'll likely want to buy a new pair of jeans, not dust off the pair you bought seven years ago.
8. "I need to keep this to remind me of the past." I'm a huge fan of mementos; remembering happy times in the past gives you a big happiness boost in the present. But ask yourself: do I need to keep all these t-shirts to remind me of high school, or can I keep a few? Do I need to keep a giant armchair to remind me of my father, or can I use a photograph? Mementos work best when they're carefully chosen -- and when they don't take up much room!
9. "I need to keep this object to show respect for the person who gave it to me." You can love someone, but not want to keep a gift from that person. It's okay to pass an item along to someone who will appreciate it more.
What other myths am I overlooking? Do these ring true for you?
* I just discovered Geoff Manaugh's Bldg Blog -- so much to see and read.
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Peter Walsh: Dealing With Extreme Clutter
Marni Wasserman: Make Over Your Kitchen (And Your Eating Habits!)
Pamela Dodson: Simplify: A Guilt-Free Goal for the New Year
Misha Lyuve: Chatter Clutter: An Invitation to an Experiment
Declutter 101: Cut Clutter At Home | Organized Home
Fix the top 6 causes of clutter - CNN
Health Effects of Clutter - Tara Parker-Pope - Medicine and Health ...
Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui - How to ... - Feng Shui - About.com
Also, dump the CD collection and put it into an Ipod or MP3 format. One last thing, don't keep something just because you paid a lot of money for it. Consider it a sunk cost, get rid of it, and move on.
The quantity of things you have is of no importance - only where they all are.
My biggest problem is when I come back from the downstairs "swap and shop" with more crap than I brought down! (like when a rich person moves out of the building, that's when there's the best stuff, LOL)
The way the Hoards compound themselves and take on a life of their own is scary.
Give it to them, or sell it.
And on the other hand---I have had moments of great relief when I discover--ah, I did not give such and such an item away.
I find the emotional terrain is sometimes a little more complex than is reflected in these decisions made in January.
I have never had this happen, and never even considered it until reading your comment.
I have been gratified by finding an item given away loving displayed, worn or used by the recipient.
We have a policy of "a place for everything and everything in its place" in our home. Touch things once, put them where they go, so they don't become someone else's problem.
My kids (three) are all in college now. We have never had to find keys or replace lost stuff, and all are the neatest (not glowing praise) in their respective living situations.
And we are all pretty relaxed.
1. "I need to get organized." No! This is not your first step! Don't get organized
So WHAT IS the first step?
If I don't want to live with clutter how do I approach it in a more effective way?
Nothing new.....but makes sense.
I don't like crap I don't need taking up space. It stresses me out.