7 Ways To Avoid Annoying Other People

Most of us would like to get along well with others -- whether friends or strangers. One thing to keep in mind is that certain habits tend to get on other people's nerves. Now you might say, "If someone's annoyed when I talk on the phone in the grocery store, I don't care, because that's ridiculous!" The fact is, whether or not you think it's ridiculous, some people will be very annoyed. Just know that. Here are some common aggravations to keep in mind:

1. As I say to my three-year-old just about every day, "Don't use a whiny voice." Some people make a habit of talking in a whine, even when they're making a perfectly innocuous comment. Some people whine ALL THE TIME. Once I started paying attention, I realized that I do this far too often, myself, and I try to remember to say things like, "Have you seen my keys?" in a nice tone, not in a whiny tone.

2. Watch your cell phone use. You may think it's acceptable to talk in a store, or on a bus, or wherever, but remember that many people still find it extremely annoying when others use a phone in a public place.

3. Don't curse. I'm astonished by how many people use very bad language in crowded situations. You may feel fine about using the f-word in conversation with your friends, but if you're in the subway, other people are going to hear you, too.

4. Clean up after yourself.

5. Think about whether you're being interesting. Certain topics are very interesting to the speaker, much less interesting to the listener: descriptions of dreams, fond discussions about your children, re-tellings of the plots of movies or plays.

6. Watch the eye-stray. When you're talking to someone in a crowded room, it's tempting to keep looking around at the other people. This is very annoying to the person to whom you're speaking; it feels like you're hoping to find a more interesting conversationalist. Maintain eye contact, or if you're looking around for a reason, explain it. I was very annoyed by a woman who kept glancing over my shoulder, until she explained, "My husband is coming, and he doesn't know anyone here, and he's very shy, so I'm looking for him." Then I didn't mind.

7. Most importantly: remember that different things annoy different people. Unfortunately, the ways that we annoy others reflect our personal proclivities - so it's hard to be aware of how other people might react. E.g., if you're the kind of person who talks on the phone all the time, you probably aren't aware of how annoying other people find it. Or if you talk about your kids all the time, you probably don't know that a lot of people find that boring. As a person who scores low on Agreeableness, I'm not naturally very considerate - but I'm trying to be more mindful of my actions.

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Interested in starting your own Happiness Project? If you'd like to take a look at Gretchen Rubin's personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email her at grubin, then the "at" sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. No need to write anything more than "Resolutions Chart" in the subject line.

Comments

[BlackYowe]

Cell Phones are so idiotic. How did we come to this?. Once I made paper balls from a straw wrapper and threw them at an insurance salesman who was bellowing into his cell while I was trying to eat breakfast in a diner. I pitched them over the booth divider like tiny snow balls. I know it was childish of me but he was ruining my meal and I had to pay for it so I couldn't leave. The guy stopped and I had some peace.

[ailbhe]

Thank god for the ipod. No longer do you have to endure boring people shouting their tedious discussions into their mobile for all to know how empty their lives are.

If people are going to impose themselves on others they should at least have the decency to be interesting about it.

Great article by the way, I would also like to add parents who ignore their screaming child in restaurants while continuing their conversations as if the poor baby did not exist.

They infuriate me.

[Social Construct]

If you don't have anything nice to say .... Yes, well, I'll say it anyway: This whole thing sounded whiny to me. Let's be philosophical for a moment, casting social interactions mores aside; just being a human being in proximity to another human being can be an annoyance. Also, that list could, arguably, go on ad nauseum. Wow, I've just annoyed myself! I gotta go.

[OtayPanky]

You don't understand. Gretchen Rubin is a droll humorist, very much like Ambrose Bierce. Her "schtick" is to poke fun at idiots who give annoying and useless life tips to others.

She's a riot to read. Enjoy!

[Social Construct]

Thank you. Guess I should do a little research. Kind of annoying, huh? ;)

[lolcopter]

If you haven't figure this out in the first couple decades of life, there's probably not much hope.

[larry278]

It's simple to avoid annoying people, become a hermit. It works for me. When people don't see you or hear you-it's hard to annoy them. If your writing annoys people-don't write to them or anybody else; you can also hide your writing or use invisible ink.

[OtayPanky]

I'm surprised (and VERY grateful) you didn't use invisible pixels to write this message.

[larry278]

You didn't notice my 2d & 3d paragraphs; look again. I'm more than glad to oblige you.

[fem56]

This is a fun topic.

[fem56]

When my kids were a bit younger annoying was a favorite term. Pretty much everyone is annoying to someone.

[OtayPanky]

fem56: Pretty much everyone is annoying to someone.

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A few gifted souls are annoying to pretty much everyone.

[clsmithj]

Urkel: Do you have any cheese?

[Younity]

How about people who you can smell from 4 yards away who seemed to be surrounded by a cloud of chemical scents that cling to you because of the cheap fixatives. Ever tried to sit through an opera when the people around you are bathed in one of the new faux citrus abominations?

[rini]

I have many asthma patients that cannot breathe around such people. There are actually people who think that their right to stink outweighs other peoples right to breathe.

[rini]

This is just an excuse for another Urkel picture. ;)

[OtayPanky]

Gretchen Rubin: Certain topics are very interesting to the speaker, much less interesting to the listener:

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I think you're onto something here.

[OrganOfThought]

LOL

[Michale32086]

OUCH..

And the ref takes a point away... :D

Michale.....

[strandwolf]

Hey: a gig's a gig.