Why You Should Write An Acceptance Speech

I'm working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone's project will look different, but it's the rare person who can't benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now.

One of the great perks of writing a book is that you get to write an Acknowledgments page where you thank everyone who helped you as you were writing your book. Winners of the Academy Award get to give their Acceptance speech, where they thank the most important people in their lives. It's too bad that other professions haven't developed similar practices - it's a wonderful tradition.

Philosophers, religious leaders, and contemporary scientists all agree that GRATITUDE is a key to happiness. Studies show that consistently grateful people are happier and more satisfied with their lives; they even feel more physically healthy and spend more time exercising. Gratitude brings freedom from envy; when you're grateful for what you have, you're not consumed with wanting something different or something more. That, in turn, makes it easier to live within your means and also to be generous to others. Gratitude fosters forbearance--it's harder to feel disappointed with someone when you're feeling grateful toward him or her. Gratitude also connects you to the natural world, because one of the easiest things to feel grateful for is the beauty of nature.

But I find it hard to stay in a grateful frame of mind--I take things for granted, I forget what other people have done for me, I have high expectations. To cure this, I tried keeping a gratitude journal, something recommended by countless happiness experts, but I found it annoying, not helpful. I have a resolution to "Think about how much I love my ordinary day each time I turn on my computer"; that works pretty well. Keeping my one-sentence journal helps me remember to be grateful. My one-minute video, The Years Are Short, is a meditation on gratitude.

I just handed in the second draft of THE HAPPINESS PROJECT book to my editor, and I figured I'd work on the appendix, bibliography, and other back matter while I was waiting for her comments. When I started to write the Acknowledgments, however, I got anxious: I realized that I've been helped by just about everyone I had a conversation with over the past few years. So many people passed along their insights, or gave advice, or said or did something that shed light on happiness. Not to mention my family and friends who give me general support. And all the people I've never actually met, but have "met" through blogging. The more I thought about it, the more names I added.

I haven't figured out how to handle this issue. I'm worried about overlooking someone, but at the same time, it would look ridiculous to thank a million people. But I can't NOT have an Acknowledgements page.

Well, I'll figure something out. As a consequence of doing this, however, I realized that writing your Acknowledgments page (or your Acceptance speech, if you want the more glamorous version) is a great exercise. If you had a chance publicly to thank the people who support and help you, who would be on the list? Can you think of a way to acknowledge them, even if you don't have an official Acknowledgements page and you're not getting an Oscar?

Or have you found other ways to cultivate a grateful spirit?

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Interested in starting your own Happiness Project? If you'd like to take a look at Gretchen Rubin's personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email her at grubin, then the "at" sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. No need to write anything more than "Resolutions Chart" in the subject line.

Comments

[3fingerbrown]

Here's another good reason to write an acceptance speech, especially if you might actually win something in front of an audience: I've always found it inconsiderate of an award winner to waste my time with a seemingly endless stream of incoherent babbling, which is usually what spews forth right after someone breathlessly says, "I didn't think I'd win, so I didn't prepare anything ..."

[Promise]

I would like to hear more from Anne Naylor about finding gratitude for the relationships in which she has been hurt or disappointed and then communicating this to the people concerned. This is amazing and transformational and sounds really difficult. Please, Anne, tell us more about that!
Thank you!

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Thank you for asking. I shall probably write more about this in a blog post at some time.

The first step I take is to resolve the grievances within me as much as I can. Self-frogiving is part of this process.

Then I turn away from the hurts, release them and let them go. After all, they are now in the past and my life goes on anyway.

Next is I attune to the qualities I love and appreciate in the person that enabled me to get close enough to them in the first place, such that I could feel hurt or disappointed. This helps me to lift into a sense of my own well-being, loving and peace of mind.

Once I am feeling at peace within myself, it is much easier to communicate with love and appreciation in a non-emotional way. My experience was also that I could communicate from my strength. None of this was "against" them. It was all for me.

I have found the whole process to be awesome, yes and transformational - in many ways.

[Bitsko]

I prefer spending my time updating my resume and job hunting, thank you. Need I there's a deep recession going on and it's only going to get worse?

[Sunshine85]

Why do you have to thank anyone? People should be thanking me for being entertaining.

[Seven7s]

They thanked you with the golden trophy :)

hey wait..you're not famous.

[Sunshine85]

I would just like to take this time to thank myself for being so perfect! Oh and also I want to thank the cameraman for always being there for me in my time of need.

[LMPE]

If I ever win an Oscar, I'm just going to say "Thanks", and that'll be it.

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear Gretchen,

I love the idea or preparing an Acceptance Speech. Brilliant!

Recently I have been having the experience of what I call "living beyond gratitude" such that I am in awe of the blessings that life is extending to me. One of the ways I think this has been coming about is through finding gratitude for the relationships in which I have been hurt or disappointed in some ways. Having found the gratitude, then I have communicated my gratitude to the people concerned.

When I am genuinely grateful for every little thing - good and "bad" - then I am living free. I am still learning this process! Not yet mastered, but getting there.

All very best wishes to you and for The Happiness Project,
Anne