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Gustavo Arellano
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Entries by Gustavo Arellano

¡ASK A MEXICAN!: Low Riders and Lotto Tickets

(0) Comments | Posted April 18, 2012 | 6:16 AM

BUY TACO USA! Gentle cabrones: My much-promised 'Taco USA: How Mexican Food Conquered America', has finally hit bookstores! Place your order with your favorite local bookstore, your finer online retailers, your craftier piratas, but place it: my libro editor has already promised to deport me from the publishing industry if...

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The Best Mexican Restaurants In America (PHOTOS)

(678) Comments | Posted April 17, 2012 | 7:55 AM

Almost from the moment Americans have tried Mexican food, they have simultaneously devoured what's in front of them but also desired the next-great thing--the mythical "authenticity" quest, that idea that somehow what we're eating isn't the best possible Mexican dish to consume. It's an idea in Mexico, where the elite...

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¡ASK A MEXICAN!: Why do Hispanics deny that George Zimmerman is Hispanic?

(33) Comments | Posted April 14, 2012 | 7:19 AM

Dear Mexican: Why do Hispanics deny that George Zimmerman is Hispanic? He did nothing wrong and has been crucified in the media--La Raza cannot bow down to the race baiters and race traitors that call themselves African-American leaders!

Brown and Down

Dear Wab: This column is ¡Ask a Mexican!, not...

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¡ASK A MEXICAN!: Everyone Is Stealing Mexican Comida

(8) Comments | Posted April 4, 2012 | 6:42 AM

Dear Readers: Talk about a lazy Mexican--nearly four years after promising ustedes that I was going to write a book about the history of Mexican food in the United States, my Taco USA: How Mexican Food Conquered America is getting released this week! April 10! 300+ pages of astounding history...

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Ask A Mexican: Spanish Slang Edition

(69) Comments | Posted March 28, 2012 | 7:35 AM

Dear Mexican: Stop using Spanish in your column.  I like reading your column, but when every other word is in Spanish, I don't know what the hell is going on. It makes you sound like that nerdy kid who uses big words to try and sound impressive. Don't be lazy, and...

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¡ASK A MEXICAN!: Mexican Neighbors

(13) Comments | Posted March 7, 2012 | 5:32 AM

Dear Mexican: I'm so perplexed by my Mexican neighbor. For one, he already has four girls, and I just saw his wife--and looks like she's pregnant AGAIN! What really bothers me is that I live in an affordable housing unit. The rent is cheap and based on our income. He...

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¡ASK A MEXICAN!: Puto Stuff

(7) Comments | Posted January 29, 2012 | 7:26 AM

Dear Mexican: It's so sad to see your wimpy answers. Your replies scream self-hatred and self-shame for your raza. You're pathetic! No plan or desire to fix Mexico's problems. You're a puto with no huevos. My DREAM Act would be that you Mexicans would stop groveling to gringos, and scream...

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¡ASK A MEXICAN!: Special Mormon Edition

(8) Comments | Posted January 22, 2012 | 7:22 AM

Dear Readers: I usually save reruns of my columna for when I have to smuggle in the latest cousin from the rancho, but the ascendancy of Republic presidential candidate Mitt Romney must be addressed--namely, that he's half-Mexican. The lamestream media is treating this as a revelation--never mind that I addressed...

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¡ASK A MEXICAN!: Special Christmas Gift Edition

(1) Comments | Posted December 21, 2011 | 5:41 AM

Dear Readers: In between your fifteenth tamale and sixth spiked cup of ponche, you're going to have to buy regalos for Christmas or whatever pinche holiday you celebrate. Okay, you don't have to, but you should, to support all those great indie businesses suffering during this Great Recession. Behold, then,...

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¡ASK A MEXICAN!: Special Conquistador Edition

(11) Comments | Posted December 14, 2011 | 5:00 AM

Dear Mexican: This is the second rant I've felt I had to send to you. I don't know if readers are allowed "seconds" but here it goes: Much has been said about the terrible things happening to the United States and its citizens by the Mexican drug cartels. But what's...

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¡ASK A MEXICAN!: Mexican Revolutions and Mexican Homophobia

(2) Comments | Posted December 7, 2011 | 1:25 AM

Dear Mexican: I read in your book that Mexico is due for a revolution about every 100 years or so. The last one was in the first part of the Twentieth Century and you said they are about ready for another one. Do you think the drug war presently being...

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¡ASK A MEXICAN!: Is that Polka or 'Conjunto Norteño'?

(2) Comments | Posted November 30, 2011 | 1:44 PM

Dear Mexican: Why is Mexico such a dump? Just to name a few of the problems: stray dogs running all over the place, piles of trash burning in the street, blown out tires hanging from cactus by the side of the road, shredded plastic shopping bags...

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¡ASK A MEXICAN! Special Mexicans are Racist Edición

(8) Comments | Posted November 26, 2011 | 9:25 AM

Dear Mexican: Having been called a "gabacho" by "Mexicans" much lighter than I and "wetback" by those whose parents (or who themselves) crossed several rivers as they west migrated to California, I'm curious as to which group you believe I should hold in the greatest disdain. While Anglo Mexicans are...

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¡ASK A MEXICAN!: Conservative Mexicans and Teacher Discrimination

(2) Comments | Posted November 17, 2011 | 7:05 AM

Dear Mexican: GOP Senator Mel Martinez authored a decent compromise bill to resolve the growing illegal immigration problem in the United States. He broke up the group of 11 million illegals into three classes, depending on the amount of time that they were in the country. Those in the United...

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¡ASK A MEXICAN!: Special Mujer Edition

(3) Comments | Posted November 9, 2011 | 4:58 AM

Dear Mexican: I am an Anglo intruder in New Mexico. When I moved to Albuquerque from Virginia, I fell in love with Mexican culture. I was impressed at what I called "Southwestern hospitality." I have had so many second dinners when I go to people's homes that I gained a...

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¡ASK A MEXICAN!: "Illegals" and The "N-Word"

(175) Comments | Posted November 2, 2011 | 7:19 AM

Dear Mexican: These days, using the word "nigger" is considered so offensive that, in its place, we now use the term "n-word." Of course, never mind that African-Americans use it amongst themselves as a term of endearment, pero esa es una historia para un otro dia. Sin embargo, it raises...

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Ask A Mexican!: Is "Mexican" an Offensive Word?

(3) Comments | Posted October 26, 2011 | 7:58 AM

Dear Mexican: There's something I concerned about, or bothered by. I was born and raised in Mexico, but I've been here for eight years. All the talk about 9/11 is too much, because every single year brings a rehash of the tragedy. I really think that remembering the event for...

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¡ASK A MEXICAN!: Chivas and AIDS Tests

(2) Comments | Posted October 19, 2011 | 7:33 AM

There's a soccer team in Mexico named Chivas. Is not a chiva a female goat? The players on the team are men. ¿Por que?

Gabacha Sin Escrúpulos

Dear Gabacha Without Scruples: VERY perceptive! A chiva is indeed a baby female goat, and there is indeed a Mexican first-division soccer team...

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¡ASK A MEXICAN!: 'Illegals' Love Wrought Iron Fences?

(50) Comments | Posted October 12, 2011 | 7:01 AM

Dear Readers: The Mexican doesn't want to take this week off, but has to because it's his mother periódico's Best Of issue and the Mexican is tasked with eating a thousand tacos in the search for the best one in Orange. I'll return next week, more panzón than ever--in the...

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Ask A Mexican!: Good Gabacho/Evil Alabama Edition

(8) Comments | Posted October 7, 2011 | 5:59 PM

Dear Mexican: I learned Spanish in school as a teen. Then, it seems, because I was young, everybody was an usted. I would like to practice speaking it, but am now an adult and don't know who gets to be a tú? I'm scared of getting it wrong...

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