I remember the distinct chants from elementary school, "Blue is a boy color! Pink is a girl color!" Not able to understand why colors needed an assigned gender, I chose yellow as my favorite because it could be for both boys and girls. As a tom boy, the idea of "girl things" and "boy things" made no sense to me. If I wanted to play soccer I would, but only after I finished playing hop-scotch. This simplicity seems to have slowly seeped out of my life. I've spent the past few years trying to unearth this young feminist spirit from beneath my stacks of Seventeen. Just rifling through a few pages of this magazine can remind any girl that her place isn't out building a house, but rather, learning how to flirt and put on mascara. These messages of what girls and boys should be doing are everywhere. When our culture is so wired to think that gender dictates behavior, it's hard to remember that gender truly has no bearing on who we are.
These gender roles first developed out of a perceived necessity. During the Neolithic revolution, men were naturally stronger than women (or so they thought) so they were needed to farm and plow fields. As men became more and more economically important as farmers and then warriors, they quickly grabbed power and women dropped to the ranks of second-class citizens. As time went on, women were even more relegated to the role of housewife by increasingly arbitrary theories on gender. Even 70 years ago, people thought women shouldn't go to school because education could cause women to have "brain fever" or become sterile. Luckily we have gotten past this ridiculous gender stereotype, but there are many, equally as laughable, presumptions about gender that we have yet to surmount. In the last election, according to a CBS poll, 38 percent of Americans still did not think America was ready for a woman president. Abroad things look even worse. In Saudi Arabia, women have just earned the right to vote and run for certain (basically powerless) offices but they still can't drive.
Luckily, I have been raised with a certain distance from these gender role stereotypes. My parents have always been an example of gender equality. My mom cooks dinner while my dad does the dishes. If the house needs repainting, my mom is the first one out there, and my dad will help out as soon as he's done with the laundry. I was raised with my mom's stories of being the only girl on the boy's baseball team (and this was before Title IX) and my dad's tales of being the star of the musical. Writing this all out seems silly because, in my eyes, it is so incredibly unremarkable. It's not revolutionary for my dad to be grocery shopping, it's just responsible. Only when people can stop commenting on the rising number of working moms and stay-at-home dads and just see it as some people going to work and some people staying home can there be equality.
A few weeks ago, I stumbled upon a New York Times article that claimed that men lost testosterone when they had kids and began to do "womanly" chores. I could not believe that a person's body knew what a "manly" activity was and what a "womanly" activity was because we as a society have decided what's "girly" and what's not. There is nothing in my genes that says I should be sewing and not using a hammer, and something tells me that wearing pink will not suddenly make a man grow boobs.
This concept of gender needs to be abolished because it is just that: a concept. Boys and girls are both made of sugar, spice, everything nice and an equal blend of frogs, snails and puppy dog tails. Our culture needs to be critiqued with fresh eyes so that our constricting gender roles can be swept away.
If gender is taught, rather than a natural inclination, the TV/TG/TS community would have kept doing what they were told/taught/learned...
Instead, they have a concrete notion of what gender behavior means to them...and guess what, it's all of the things feminists claim to be learned behavior created by patriachal stereotypes.
Someone is wrong here.
So...is gender learned or natural?
It's Ari Egar :)
I just wanted to say that it's great to see you writing such an influential piece about a vaguely-known topic. If I had the time on my hands I would write one too, but I've far too many things to do. Anyway, keep on with the incredible work.
With love,
Ari
It would be great if modern feminism would return to it's roots and strive for gender equality here and abroad.
the "old" days weren't like you hear..... individual choices are what it's all about
30 years ago I was buying and selling feeder steers. That is an almost 100% male-dominated field.
25 years ago I was the first woman to photograph a tribal rodeo in the southwest. I was allowed to have the same privileges as the male workers/cowboys/stock producers had. Meaning I could go anywhere and do whatever I needed to do for my project.
I've remodeled three houses (sub-contracted out two) and landscaped two houses.
Most recently I worked as a corrections officer in a private prison so I could gather information for a new project. That is definitely a male-dominated job.
I set my sights on my passions. I grew up on a ranch where I worked along side my father and my brother in-law. My dad always told me that I could do any job that a boy/man could. If we have self-respect and project that respect to others, we'll all be okay. :)
It isn't about pink or blue.
It is about heart, commitment, passion and tenaciousness. p.s. I'm 68. :)
more effort is needed, more work, more action less talking ...
My 14 year old daughter has no use for makeup or fashion - she is focused upon her pre-engineering education, as she will be off to college next year. I ran both her and her 11 year old brother through a 2 day rifle safety and marksmanship class last summer.
There is no need for the excessive gender typing of activities.
Um, men ARE stronger than woman..... but just physically.
It's a good thing women are the ones who give birth or the human species would have died out in the stone age.
Your message struck a chord with me for I made little league when girls were not allowed to play; I made my college men's team and no other teams in our league would get on the court with me. Like you I was raised by parent's that "knew" girls and boys can do anything, not just what the color pink or blue suggested. I would love to share more with you on my path as a woman forging her way to equal pay, equal respect, and equal satisfaction. How do I do that?
Regards,
Sally Sullivan
sallysullivan@fibersphere.net
First, the comment that "it's hard to remember that gender truly has no bearing on who we are", is simply incorrect. Gender is extremely important in terms of "who we are" and one only need to look to the difference in brain function (neither sex is better, but there are differences) and body chemistry. Women and men, on average, process information in the world in different manners due to the differences. How can our thinking not be important to who we are?
The author also states that: "A few weeks ago, I stumbled upon a New York Times article that claimed that men lost testosterone when they had kids and began to do "womanly" chores". This idea that you can just reject anything you disagree with is anti-science. I'm not saying the article in the New York Times or the study it is based on is incorrect (I didn't read either), but to dispute the article and study because you don't like the results as they conflict with your worldview, as opposed to because you can disprove the results, is simply absurd.
Just keep in mind that a hundred years ago, scientists were drawing up diagrams which demonstrated that black people were less evolved versions of white people. The author is absolutely correct, scientific opinion used to favour the idea that educating women would cause them to be sterile. Supposedly, the blood would rush from their ovaries to their brains. These theories seem laughable now but it is important to remember that science is a discourse. It can be manipulated, consciously or unconsciously as a result of someone's internalised beliefs to reflect their own prejudices.