Still not sure what to get that special someone this holiday season on the birthday of Jesus? Here are a few suggestions I recommend, which you can order from my book The Brothers Rjukerooka.
MR JESUS HEAD- Insert your own thorns, long hair, beard and thorns. From the creators of Mr. Potato head! $9.99
SWISS ARMY CRUCIFIX- Complete with corkscrew, toothpick and holy water! $16.99
CATHOLIC GAG CONDOM- Jokes on them-this condom's filled with holes! Hours and hours of laughs! Pack o' 12 $9.99
LAST SUPPER COOKBOOK- Now you can prepare at home what "they" ate! Don't be like Judas and betray your appetite, order today! $26.99
BIBLE BLOOPERS- Read the wackiest bloopers, blips, blunders and cock ups from the original draft of the Bible. Learn how God Punk'd Abel. Features loads of swearing from your favorite Bible characters $9.99
THE SMOTHERS BROTHERS REENACT THE CRUCIFIXION -Everyone's favorite brothers reenact Jesus' last moments. Here's a wacky excerpt:
"Mom always liked you best!"
"Losing....consciousness!"
Available on vinyl or CD.
STIGMATA BAND AIDS- Perfectly round! Just because you're The Chosen One doesn't mean everyone has to know! $3.66
ALTER BOYS OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH PIN-UP CALENDAR-12 months of the hottest, hunkiest, prepubescent altar boys! Enough to make any clergyman get down and pray! Must be 18 years or older $12.99
JESUS LIKES YOU, BUT ONLY AS A FRIEND POSTER- A perfect reminder of your plutonic relationship with the savior $9.99
JOY TO THE WORLD BUZZER- Imagine the surprise on people's faces when you shake hands with them and they hear the shocking reassurance, "Jesus Loves You!" Hours of laughs to be had! $5.99
GI JESUS ACTION FIGURE-Finally a savior who can kick some ass! Complete with kung-fu grip! Don't mess with the savior! $11.99
Or, this holiday season, pick Harmon Leon's book The Brothers Rjukerooka