Don't Call FEMA in a Disaster, Call USDA

A warm and wonderful counterpoint to the distressing tales, still continuing, of FEMA's feckless response to the twin disasters of Katrina--the hurricane and the floods--is this report in last Tuesday's Washington Post (hey, I'm in London, things take time) about the US Department of Agriculture's Livestock Compensation Program, which, before it came to its untimely end, dispensed over a billion dollars of taxpayers' money to compensate farmers for the loss of livestock in droughts that, as the Post reports, seldom actually happened.

To qualify, a rancher had to be in a county that was suffering from a drought and declared a disaster by the agriculture secretary in 2001 or 2002. More than 2,000 counties had such declarations at the time, including many with only modest dry spells.

All that livestock owners had to do was show up at their county agriculture office and fill out a short form certifying the number of animals they owned as of June 1, 2002. Short-staffed county offices were hard pressed to verify the numbers. They did only limited spot checks.

A spokesman for the USDA, Ed Loyd, said last week that the system was meant to distribute funds quickly. "Given the severity of the drought, we were confident enough of the losses" to forgo the time-consuming process of checking every farm and ranch, Loyd said.

None of those pesky long waits that bedeviled people in the Gulf South. And no need, really, for an actual disaster.

John Fuston, the Texas USDA director, confirmed that the county offices were urged to look for weather events and disasters that could qualify ranchers for the program. He said the agency was following the rules set by Congress.

Without any real disasters in Denton County, though, English was left to scramble. "We didn't have a drought," he said. "In fact, we were wet. The crops were above normal at the time."

English said he did his best, preparing a report on a rainstorm that had blown through more than a year earlier. "We knew it wasn't a disaster," he said. "We knew it wouldn't be approved." And, according to English, it wasn't.

Then, on Feb. 1, 2003, the shuttle exploded. To ensure recovery of the debris and pay for emergency costs, President Bush issued a federal disaster declaration. As an unintended result, most of East Texas was then eligible for livestock funds. Denton County's livestock owners collected $433,000, records show.

So, next time you want federal assistance in a hurry, buy a cow.