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Hayley Krischer

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If Girls Rule The World, Where Do The Boys Fit In?

Posted: 03/ 5/2012 3:15 pm

Is this a reasonable argument?

Babble blogger Laura Mayes made an interesting point recently with her column, "Someone To Look Up To," by discussing a potential girl power backlash. With full knowledge that we still make less, etc. etc., Mayes wonders if powerful girl messaging is making her six-year-old son feel inadequate -- she cites an overrun world of female educators, business women and pop messaging like Beyonce's Run The World (Girls) after her son questions why everyone in charge of his life is a woman.

Mayes explains that a lot of this has to do with her son's age. She writes:

Remember, this is coming from a kid whose only understanding of the world began in 2005... and let's be honest, he's only started to understand a PBS Kids-version of the world since about 2008. So he has no concept why one gender would need to be encouraged over another.

Of course, this depends on the boy. My eight-year-old just told me the other day that boys are always stronger than girls and I reminded him that I am not only stronger than him, but bigger than him. So there's that.

While Mayes's piece is a thought-provoking tribute to her son about gender equality, I think girl power messaging can be enlightening without taking anyone down -- that includes young boys. Granted, we're seeing all sorts of reports that boys struggle in their own way. They're more likely to drop out of high school. In the home, women have been appointed the decision-makers. And in the workplace (despite the wage gap) women have a higher employment rate than men. Hannah Rosin's ubiquitous 2010 Atlantic Monthly article "The End of Men," argued that women and girls have not only become preferred sex, but that we're holding more powerful positions than ever -- and more that we might be better suited to those positions than men are.

Says Rosin in that article:

But what if men and women were fulfilling not biological imperatives but social roles, based on what was more efficient throughout a long era of human history? What if that era has now come to an end? More to the point, what if the economics of the new era are better suited to women?

Still, I'm not convinced we should focus on What about me, Mom? when (if) your boy asks about girl empowerment. It's about explaining some of the basics, like the historical -- and, let's face it, current -- fight for gender equality. That Mommy wasn't always allowed the same rights as Daddy. Because my kid is eight, I can't yet talk to him about the other ways women and girls are currently over-sexualized or treated differently from men and boys like this, or this or this.

In my kids' bathroom above the toilet, I hung a poster called "The 19th Amendment" by artist Michael Albert-- it's a collage that features the text of the 19th amendment and was given to me by my sister-in-law who is a friend of the artist. I didn't consciously hang it over the toilet -- honest -- the space simply fit. But in retrospect I realized the poster, with the actual quote from the constitution and hundreds of images of women (including Dora, the Statue of Liberty and, uh, Pebbles, though I'm not sure how Fred and Wilma's offspring fits in here, she's cute nevertheless) acted as a daily history lesson.

Every time my son pees standing up, he's reminded that women didn't have the right to vote until 1920. Now put down the lid on that toilet. Thank you, honey.

 

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Is this a reasonable argument? Babble blogger Laura Mayes made an interesting point recently with her column, "Someone To Look Up To," by discussing a potential girl power backlash. With full knowl...
Is this a reasonable argument? Babble blogger Laura Mayes made an interesting point recently with her column, "Someone To Look Up To," by discussing a potential girl power backlash. With full knowl...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
s3dg
06:00 PM on 04/07/2012
EdCorey1971 is so much smarter than Grinling Gibbons.
01:21 PM on 03/19/2012
I wish people would stop using the wage gap as evidence that women are discriminated against, as the current gap is not created by discrimination but other factors. You're really using the argument that women, as poor negotiators of initial salary and as people who choose insurance coverage over income, should be paid more because of it?
01:02 AM on 03/17/2012
They really want to know "where boys fit in" in a girl's world? Uh... lower... a little lower... just a little lower... that's it!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
gtobynj
If it's really funny, it's bound to offend someone
04:15 PM on 03/16/2012
Lets talk equality here. Gentlemen, please put the toilet see down for the ladies and Ladies, please be considerate and leave the toilet seat up for the gentlemen.
01:01 AM on 03/17/2012
I put both lids down so as not to have to ever fish something valuable out of the used toilet bowl ever, ever, every again. I've had to do it twice. Never again. Ugh.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
gtobynj
If it's really funny, it's bound to offend someone
01:24 PM on 03/19/2012
Good reason! Thanks.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
gtobynj
If it's really funny, it's bound to offend someone
01:01 PM on 03/16/2012
Our environment through technological advancement is evolving much faster than our bodies and brains.

Men and women evolved with complimentary skills to ensure the survival of them and their offspring and in my opinion, for most people these gender strengths and weaknesses have remained. Women for example are able to multitask much better than men and are far better at communicating emotional thought. Men are better at concentrating with single minded focus and are able to divorce emotion from logic.

These are simple examples, but give indication to where our skills are better suited. Typically, women will make better managers, primary care physicians, sales people etc. through being able to juggle multiple tasks at once and use her communication skills to more effectively motivate. Men will typically make better technicians were the ability to focus on single tasks with great concentration is key - programmers, surgeons, pilots etc.

This is just pointing out typical traits and I don't think a person should ever be discouraged from pursuing a profession or career just because of their gender, I do though feel that if we are more honest about where our complimentary strengths lie we may all be a bit happier while our species waits for our physiology to catch up with technology.
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05:12 PM on 03/11/2012
Tell your son that both girls and boys have opportunities to excel in life, to choose what they want to study, to become who they want to be. Tell him that sometimes he will have women as bosses (or teachers) and sometimes he will have men, and that either gender is acceptable as a boss or teacher.

Tell him that he does not have to limit his aspirations to careers or activities formerly delegated to men only, but can choose whatever interests him. Ballet, or football, or both. He can be a nurse or a fireman, a Kindergarten teacher or a pilot. He is no longer bound by his gender. And neither is his sister.

How about starting with that?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
summer261987
if only~~
01:38 AM on 03/08/2012
wow. so many negative comments on feminism! why people keep attacking feminist? there are REAL women out there who fight for woman's rights! (i'm not saying pretentious feminist who saying things to make her look good). i mean people that really fight for equal chance and equal position in society (think: middle-eastern countries)! maybe it's hard for American to understand this... but feminists are not bunch of lunatics that want to take advantage from men (at least it's not supposed to be!).

i know people judge women in getting this and that privileges and i saw a lot of comments how divorce is more in favor to women. but this really case by case isn't it? there are men that didn't pay their child support or even care about his children too. what will you say about these men?? also, when a 50-year-old rich man marrying a 20-year-old, should he be surprised that this women is only after his money?? (i'm totally agree that not all women are saints)
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Yellowcab
100 % Cotton
03:11 PM on 03/08/2012
This isn't feminism. It's child abuse.
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04:55 PM on 03/11/2012
What is?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
OliviaBolivia27
from the Sosialistisk Venstreparti of Wisconsin
08:58 PM on 03/07/2012
This poor kid thinks women are in control of his life. Little does he know that women make up only about 17% of elected officials in the U.S. (but are 50% of the constituency). This is a patriarchy, for all intents and purposes.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
John Alastair
11:03 PM on 03/07/2012
So? What matters is not who's in charge, it's whose agenda they're pushing, and believe me, it ain't men's.
05:50 PM on 03/15/2012
Yes it is. Almost all laws default to the benefit of men, not women. Otherwise there wouldnt be all this uproar about contraception and safe and legal access to the abortion procedure. Women certainly are still second class citizens in this country.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Yellowcab
100 % Cotton
03:13 PM on 03/08/2012
Women out vote men. They didn't vote for Hillary, they voted for a man. Women like men as enforcers, it's as simple as that.
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adamben
yes i said yes i will yes
04:13 PM on 03/07/2012
first of all forcing him to see that every day is crazy.

second of all, i've dated mostly educated (which i mean phd/md/mba...) women and i've taken many ap courses in hs with them and throughout my life so i have no problems with equality (i have a phd). and, i don't feel threatened by "grl power" since it isn't directed at us, at least from the non-womens study women (and i did date one of those too).

lastly, when men were in charge they still needed women for companionship, not just for procreation, which women are much more into. if women do in fact take over they will still need us because when they are done "experimenting" with their sexuality when they are undergrads they will discover the joys of having a heterosexual mate.

are all men bad? no. are all women good? no. we should strive for a gender neutral school/work environment and leave dating and relationships to individuals, where it belongs and not saddle our kids with the burden of past misdeeds by someone else of their gender, race, ethnicity, creed and/or sexual-orientation. take a chill pill.
03:47 PM on 03/07/2012
This article had no substance WHATSOEVER. Another post from a frightened little feminist girl who never learned to grow up, understand and deal with the emotions that exist between masculine and feminine energy. You're so frightened of masculine energy that you want to wipe it out.

Feminist use their minds to create THEIR OWN problems and turmoil and then they use that SAME mind to produce a solution. Do you not see the insanity? Females are at the unhappiest point they've been at in history and mental disorders with women continue to increase. This is because you no longer have the masculine energy to balance your feminine. Now that you women are on your own you have to be masculine 24/7, men use to shield you from this by giving you an escape back to your radiant feminine essence.

And you think you're angering men by taking this resentment out on your son? I feel sorry for you little girl. Have you been watching the news? Women are complaining of the constant constraints and pressure of being single parents. Women are consuming anti-depressants like their candy and visiting therapist daily. Congratulations! You abandoned your husbands and now what? Children are going out of control due to the lack of male guidance in their lives.

If you women are apparently winning...Can someone PLEASE tell me.... who's losing?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Yellowcab
100 % Cotton
05:33 PM on 03/08/2012
She's not THAT bad a femmom. At least she doesn't make him return his boy oriented birthday presents and donate the money to women's domestic abuse shelters.

Now THAT'S a feminist Mom!
05:51 PM on 03/15/2012
She's a grown mother of two children. But sexism abounds allows people to still call grown women girls. Rest of your post is unremarkable.
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s3dg
05:54 PM on 04/07/2012
but calling grown men guy's is completely acceptable.
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03:33 PM on 03/07/2012
How about tell him thathe has to respect women, but there is no need to ruin his life thinking he needs one to be fulfilled.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Yellowcab
100 % Cotton
03:18 PM on 03/08/2012
How about teaching him self respect - obviously respect for humanity doesn't come from belittled self ashamed people.
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mds308
America. Love it or Leave it to Beaver.
11:56 AM on 03/07/2012
This is the last line of the article:

Every time my son pees standing up, he's reminded that women didn't have the right to vote until 1920. Now put down the lid on that toilet. Thank you, honey.

What I'd like to know is how many 8 year old boys think of Womens Suffrage while urinating? I think he is more focused on how much Kool-Aid he had to drink or where he left his Super Soaker.

The only thing on my mind is my aim.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
OliviaBolivia27
from the Sosialistisk Venstreparti of Wisconsin
08:53 PM on 03/07/2012
She said that because the women's suffrage poster is hanging on the wall right there above the toilet.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Yellowcab
100 % Cotton
03:19 PM on 03/08/2012
Right next to the picture of the Viet Nam Veteran's wall so he knows his lot in life.
10:19 AM on 03/07/2012
In my country India, most of the woman rulers have been autocratic , revengeful and good fighter . My friends say that in corporate also they have been tough bosses. In my view , if given a chance , they will fix them at right place i.e Home maker. Of course , they have been created equal by GOD ,not less than any one.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
OliviaBolivia27
from the Sosialistisk Venstreparti of Wisconsin
08:59 PM on 03/07/2012
How can you believe that women and men are created equal, and yet still believe that women ought to be homemakers while men should do whatever they want to do for a career?
11:19 AM on 03/08/2012
I have no intention to say that woman ought to be home maker , on the contrary i am of the view that dominance of male in many societies is by virtue of suppression. I further believe woman may be biological different but in terms human capabilities they are second to none.
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Yellowcab
100 % Cotton
03:20 PM on 03/08/2012
If men all decided to be homemakers who would make all the child support payments to single mothers? Taxpaying single mothers?
09:44 AM on 03/07/2012
In case of india , most of the woman rulers have been more autocratic, revengeful and better fighter in comparison to their male counterpart. No doubt, if given a chance they will fix then in their right place i.e. home maker.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Yellowcab
100 % Cotton
11:42 PM on 03/06/2012
Do you remind your little boy that only HE has to sign up for selective service, and that only HE would be required to fight on the front lines even though mommy only had the vote since 1920 yet has never had to do any of those things?

Mommys can and do vote for war, but have no obligation to participate -'cause she's oppressed and you and Daddy aren't.

That's the price you pays for peeing while standing up.

"My eight-year-old just told me the other day that boys are always stronger than girls and I reminded him that I am not only stronger than him, but bigger than him. So there's that."

But Mommy...you aren't a "girl". Your'e an...adult. Remember?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
OliviaBolivia27
from the Sosialistisk Venstreparti of Wisconsin
08:56 PM on 03/07/2012
Men don't have an obligation to participate either. We're never going to reinstate the draft. The U.S. military is such a popular career choice, it is now turning people down more than ever. I will also remind you that it is women who have been pushing the military to allow women to serve in all positions of combat, and it is MEN trying to prevent women from serving to the fullest extent.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Yellowcab
100 % Cotton
10:07 AM on 03/08/2012
Men have an obligation to sign up for selective service or they will be denied driver's license, professional licenses and the rare government jobs offered to men.

If we are never going to reinstate the draft, why are men FORCED to sign up for it? Why are women not FORCED to sign up for it?

I'm a woman. I served. Why didn't you?
06:04 PM on 03/15/2012
When men turn 18 they must sign up for the draft. HOwever, they can rrefuse but will then be denied federal school loans etc. Thats the point that yellowcab is really driving at. That there are potential (though not definite) repercussions for not signing up.
06:02 PM on 03/15/2012
Selective service has got to be about the dumbest argument ever posed as a reason why equality is not possible. You have only patriarchy to blame for why Selective Service still exists.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Yellowcab
100 % Cotton
11:19 PM on 03/15/2012
It's not a "dumb" argument at all.

Equal rights means equal responsibility.

Either Selective Service has to GO for men, or women have to step up and take their spin at the wheel. Don't ask don't tell is now gone, so are the excuses why you don't have to do your part, yet men do.

Welcome to the oppressive patriarchy, comrade.