People are horrified over the episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashian's in which Kim Kardashian takes a closed fist swing at husband Kris Humphries. Despite the entire scenario being caught on camera, many viewers are still wondering -- is this domestic violence?
How is this a disputable question? Though some have tried to downplay her violent reaction by calling it "playful," throwing a fist at your husband is not playful and technically falls under the category of domestic violence. It seems that because Kim is a woman people are confused as to whether or not her action falls into the "domestic violence" category. My answer: yes, it absolutely does.
Here is the dictionary definition of domestic violence "violence committed by one family or household member against another -- see also restraining order." They are husband and wife therefore it certainly qualifies. If they were strangers and she did this is would still be labeled violence just not domestic violence.
Are people quick to defend her because she is physically smaller and weaker than her husband therefore he should be able to "take it?" No man deserves the humiliation and pain that goes along with being beat up by a woman despite whether or not he can physically "take it." The emotional and psychological impact lasts long after the physical bruises have faded. Men are often silent victims when it comes to being victims of rape and/or domestic violence. Male victims of domestic abuse and rape deal with even more societal stigmatization than female victims, who have it rough as it is. Society unfairly labels men who "complain" about violence from a partner as "not real men" or just plain weak. This is wrong. Anytime a person is abused by a family member it is domestic violence whether it is a female or male throwing the punches.
The most alarming thing in this Kardashian scenario is that her immediate reaction was to throw a closed fist punch at him. If it was as "playful" as her public relations team would like you to believe, she may have just swatted him away or lightly smacked him. Those reactions are not necessarily acceptable, but certainly not as shocking as throwing a punch. And imagine how outraged Americans would be if it was the other way around: Kris throwing the punch at Kim. What do you think?
Need help standing up to domestic abuse? In the U.S., call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−SAFE(7233).
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Simply put... authorities won't press charges against a pretty woman simply because she is a pretty woman.
When that girl on "Teen Mom" or one of those other shows hit her baby's father she was arrested and everything. What makes her so F-ing special that she gets away with it?
I also agree, if it was him hitting her the exact same way; trying to pass it as a joke; he would have been charged or investigated for sure!
No longer will angry abusive hateful women "get off" on seeing men punished just because they are men. :)
After all, just a few weeks ago we had Sharon Osborne (and company) on The Talk celebrating the castration of a man by a woman and the whole (female) studio audience found it hilarious. The guy's supposed offense: he wanted a divorce. Now imagine just for a moment if a man were to sexually mutilate a woman simply because she wanted a divorce....and imagine if some male commentator would laugh it off as a huge "well she got hers"-style joke. The guy would be out on his ear. That would have been a story for HP to do...but I don't believe HP did.
Anyway, I applaud HP for actually having the gonadal fortitude to tentatively consider men's issues and perhaps even take an egalitarian POV (instead of the default gynocentric POV) on gender issues.
It is why abuse by the hand of women is never really taken seriously. Some women love to hit/abuse guys and it has nothing to do with femininity or women being more emotional. But it has more to do with control, punishment, AND putting men in their place. It's pay back plan and simple. And the justice system and legislative laws favor women in this area. But if society starts focusing on men they know the jig will be up soon and they are scared.
Not having seen the video, I have no idea other than what I read about it here. The general consensus here, even by her defenders, is that she did indeed punch him in anger (and not in self-defense). In an unbiased world, that's game over.
Nancy Salamone
www.thebusinessofme.com
www.nancysstory.com
As a survivor who advocates against abuse and domestic violence, I do get messages and emails from male victims. In our society victims are shamed into silence- especially males. Men are often seen as the perpetrators of these types of crimes. The people who victimized me were men, but I am not going to blame the entire male population for their crime; I am not going to not call out a domestic abuser just because it's a woman throwing the punches. Men may need more support when it comes to to speaking out and recognizing domestic violence against their gender because it is so misunderstood...
* By feminists (and therefore much of the media and culture): men hit to control women and DV is about power. Obviously, if one can demonstrate that women are at least as violent as men in intimate situations, this would undermine much of their belief in the patriarchy, male privilege, and the "bondage" and female servitude they believe occurs in marriage.
* By traditional culture: a man is weak if he is beaten up by a woman. Of course this same traditional culture would probably also find it offensive if he defends himself by hitting the woman, so it is really an unfair point of view.
Personally, I figure men and women are supposed to be equal, right? To put it another way, a woman doesn't get to demand - and be given - equal rights on the one hand, and special treatment on the other. This is equality folks.
See http://www.mediaradar.org/research.php for references.
To add insult to injury (literally), often if a man reports DV then it is he not she who gets charged.
The "never hit a woman" mindset is a two way street. If you are female and you don't want to get hit, then you shouldn't start it in the first place.
Really, it sounds to me like you are attempting to downplay this, to silence the discussion on male victims of domestic abuse... why is that?
As for your other points, I couldn't agree more (the show should go), but that fact doesn't diminish the fact that she perpetrated violence against her husband (or whatever).