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Heather Cabot

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You're Smarter Than You Think

Posted: 01/30/08 08:08 AM ET


New motherhood not only saps your energy, but feels like it claims more than a few brain cells, too. Every mom of young children I've met sheepishly admits to her own "mommy moments." You know the times you leave your keys in the front door (at least once a week for me), or race out of the house with your shirt on inside out or dial a number and forget who you are calling. One humbling day, a few weeks ago, I actually convinced myself to the core that it was a Thursday when it was really a Tuesday and got a lovely $47 ticket for parking my car on the wrong side of the street.

It's easy to get down on yourself. But despite these minor hiccups, when you think about all of the mental might it takes to juggle the pieces of our overscheduled lives, you realize that moms have to be pretty brilliant people to keep things running smoothly. We are, in fact, much smarter than we think. And as featured in Newsweek this week,
some new research suggests women as a whole need to give ourselves more credit. British researcher Adrian Furnham, a psychology professor at University College of London, tells the magazine that women often underestimate their smarts while men overplay theirs. Furnham analyzed 30 international studies of how men and women assess their own brainpower and found what he calls "the male hubris, female humility effect." So you may very well be smarter than the guys in your life but your ego doesn't realize it. And it is especially difficult, when you are toiling away changing diapers and folding laundry.

My point is that sometimes the mundane side of motherhood dulls our self-confidence (not to mention sleep deprivation and those last ten pounds). But like all women, we must not lose sight of our innate abilities to problem solve, manage time and along the way, nurture our families. As journalist Katherine Ellison points out in her 2005 book, The Mommy Brain: How Motherhood Makes Us Smarter, being a mom may actually improve our mental function by boosting our perception, efficiency, motivation, resilience and emotional intelligence. Raising a family is a big job with multiple hats. So on those days when you can't remember where you put your keys, it might help to remind yourself just how smart and capable you really are. I'm going try it myself...right after I figure out where I parked the car.

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07:52 AM on 01/31/2008
All things being equal (ceteris paribus) male and female intelligence is largely undifferentiated. The differences are largely a consquence of the millions of years of unrecorded history preceding the thousands of years of recorded history. At one time, not so long ago, life was cold, nasty, brutish and short. A man's reproductive potency of sperm as numerous as grains of sand drove his insatiable appetite for women, and a woman's eggs, as rare as fine pearls drove her to select only the alpha male. The focus of a man's consciousness is global and distant, whereas, the focus of a woman's consciousness is local and immediate. The difference is not intelligence, but purpose.
05:39 PM on 01/30/2008
Ah yes! And it's OUR FAULT that we don't think we're very smart. (pay no attention to those advanced degrees...)

I'm sure it has NOTHING TO DO with the way men treat us.

Beatings, berating, bullying and widespread discrimination and sexual harassment and constant threat of sexual assault at school, at work and at home has NOTHING TO DO with how we rate ourselves. Couldn't possibly.

No, it's OUR FAULT that these things are being done to us BECAUSE OF our underrating ourselves.

BLAME THE VICTIM! It's easier than thinking.
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03:50 PM on 01/30/2008
Years ago, I used to support myself by waitressing and I dreaded seeing parties come in that included small children. I used to say the IQ of the group went down 10 points for every child present. It was quite annoying! You are trying to wait on people who have lost half their mind.
01:56 PM on 01/30/2008
I pretty sure we would define intelligence differently.

Krishna defines intelligence in the Bhagavad-gita 13.3 with the words "ksetra-ksetrajnayor jnanam:"

"Intelligence is knowing the difference between the body and the self."

Regardless, I must admit that I find this article of yours quite agreeable.

The only dumb thing that I find about women is that so many of them want to act like men. Women can have their next birth as men if they don't like their present gender. I'm sure many of us men will be born as women next time around. Just consider:

"Whatever state of mind one remembers when he quits the body, O son of Kunti, that state he will attain without fail." Typically men like to think of women and women think of men, and so genders often switch between births. If women want to be men, it's a relatively short wait until next birth. Trying to be men artificially is not very intelligent.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
rini
Physician & mother..struggling musician
11:35 AM on 01/30/2008
Hmm..

I'm smarter than I think.. What if I think I am smart? I refuse to let a man make me feel dumb. Usually, only the stupid ones do that and it's easy to see how slow they are.
11:24 AM on 01/30/2008
And what did you expect? Women think with both hemispheres of their brain, and Men with half their brain and that little head. :)
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
LeftRight
TANSTAAFL
08:48 AM on 01/30/2008
To be fair, women aren't SMARTER than men, and men aren't SMARTER than women. Men tend to be able to handle spatial relationships better than women, while women are better able to manage time and have better social skills than men. Either way, my wife is smarter than I am, but I can do geometry better than her :)