The UAE 500

Yesterday's Wall Street Journal reported that young Arab men, flush with cash thanks to rising oil prices, are buying expensive cars and going in for drag racing. Taking a souped-up sports car into the desert to see what it can do sounds fun (unless you're a Saudi woman who isn't allowed to drive anything anywhere), but it makes me mad.

These guys are rich because we're paying too dearly for their products, and they're out flaunting it by driving gas-guzzlers across the burning sands. It's not all fun -- they're killing each other in road accidents (some traffic death statistics are up 100% in Dubai) -- but by and large, these boys are having a good time while I'm paying $60 to fill my tank.

Which made me think of NASCAR. Our real national past-time (sorry Major League Baseball, but it's true) is all about joyriding around in tricked-out cars that waste millions of gallons of gas and oil.

I went to NASCAR.com to see if I could find out just how much gas and oil are consumed in a typical race, to no avail. I did, however, learn that NASCAR has proudly announced that it's going to begin using unleaded fuel in 2008. God bless them for making that sacrifice. I hope Dale Earnhardt is smiling down from heaven -- not that he'd be able to see the track beneath the haze of unleaded smog.

If we had a real president in the White House, he'd insist that NASCAR set an example and park it for the duration. But we don't, and he won't. So here's my solution -- move NASCAR to the Middle East. They have an eager audience, lots of room and fuel to spare. We'll have to watch it on HDTV, but I'm sure the sponsors will find a way to monetize that experience. And just think, the glorious Danica Patrick will have a chance to be a role model to some little girl in Riyadh, who dreams of getting behind the wheel all by herself some day.