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Heather Kopp
Heather Kopp is the author of Sober Mercies: How Love Caught Up with a Christian Drunk (Jericho Books). She blogs at

Entries by Heather Kopp

Why Moms of Addicts Can't Trust God

(14) Comments | Posted May 9, 2014 | 3:41 PM

This time, she's wearing a floral dress and pink lipstick. The pained expression I recognize well. Before she even opens her mouth, I'm pretty sure she is the mother of an addicted son or daughter.

I meet this mom too often, I'm afraid. This particular one I met on...

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When Shared Brokenness Trumps Shared Beliefs

(6) Comments | Posted May 2, 2014 | 2:53 PM


I get a lot of emails from people who've read Sober Mercies, which means so much to me. But I keep noticing how one particular line from the book keeps coming up. Last week, after three people in a row quoted the same...

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7 Reasons to Risk an Intervention

(5) Comments | Posted March 26, 2014 | 12:45 PM

Today I'm writing to the loved ones of addicts and alcoholics who may have heard an incomplete message about your role. The message goes something like this: "I am completely powerless to help the addict I love, and the only thing I can do is stay out of the way...

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Why I Ditched a Shame-Based Faith

(37) Comments | Posted February 27, 2014 | 4:38 PM

I often write about the power of shame in the context of recovery. But shame is a human problem, and long-time Christians are in no ways immune. I was a Christian—and a slave to shame—for more than a decade before I became a slave to alcohol.

Like many, I began...

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When Old Beliefs Die... Let the Bees Come

(0) Comments | Posted October 3, 2013 | 11:21 AM

As most of you know, my husband is an editor at Random House. As such, he acquires books for several of their religious imprints, including a brand new one called Convergent.

Sometimes I get a sneak peek at an upcoming release...and get very excited. That's what happened when...

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At the Intersection of Addiction and Grace

(8) Comments | Posted September 27, 2013 | 2:18 PM

On Monday I flew to Virginia to speak to a gathering of Salvation Army officers who operate their addiction rehabilitation centers in the Southeast. I was pretty nervous about it. I was also deeply grateful for the opportunity.

2013-09-26-photo1.PNGMy grown son Noah joined...

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Should Christian Parents Promise Not to Divorce?

(297) Comments | Posted September 16, 2013 | 5:05 PM

I got married at 17 and had my first son, Noah, when I was barely 18.

Still selfish and immature, I wasn't exactly fussy or doting. To my mother-in-law's chagrin, I thought baby undershirts were a silly hassle because no one sees them. I fed Noah his baby food...

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'But I Don't Want To Be an Alcoholic!'

(5) Comments | Posted September 12, 2013 | 12:19 PM

In the past week, three different people have made the same remark to me: "But I don't want to be an alcoholic!"

It's an honest plea. A desperate declaration of resistance. But it's also kind of funny. One, because they're saying to me —I don't want to be like...

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Not Another Recovery Memoir

(0) Comments | Posted August 28, 2013 | 3:19 PM

Since the release of my recovery memoir in May (Sober Mercies: How Love Caught Up with a Christian Drunk (Hachette/Jericho), I'm often asked why I wrote it. I mean, does the world really need another recovery memoir? What's so special about my story? And anyway, why would I want to...

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What if You're Doing Better Than You Think?

(1) Comments | Posted August 27, 2013 | 6:07 PM

One of the hazards of Christianity—or for that matter, any path of spiritual formation—is that we get so focused on change and growth that we forget that we're okay right now. God isn't waiting for us to finally get it all together so he can love us more.

Not long...

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How to Scream for Help

(7) Comments | Posted August 27, 2013 | 4:06 PM

I learned how to scream for help way before I learned to ask for it.

It happened one summer when my husband Dave and I were staying at a vacation rental house on the Oregon coast. We just so happened to be in the bathroom at the same time...

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When Sin Is a 5-Letter Word

(81) Comments | Posted July 18, 2013 | 5:46 PM

One of the biggest gripes some Christians have about recovery programs which operate outside of church is that they don't use the word "sin" enough, or at all. I think the worry is that people who need God most won't know they're sinners and reach for the forgiveness Jesus bought...

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Moms Who Drink Too Much

(11) Comments | Posted July 11, 2013 | 12:33 PM

A couple of weeks ago, I got an email from a mom I'll call "Lucy," who told me that she recognized herself in my book. Which is to say, she's an admitted alcoholic who hides her problem well.

Lucy is married to a prominent doctor, is the mother of...

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On a Scale of Numbness

(0) Comments | Posted July 10, 2013 | 4:37 PM

A new favorite author of mine is Brene Brown. In her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, she explains how after working the 12 Steps for her drinking problem, she realized that alcohol was just one of the ways she compulsively sought to numb unwanted feelings.

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Why Christians Make Miserable Addicts

(122) Comments | Posted July 2, 2013 | 2:27 PM

At a recent recovery meeting, I met a woman who wore a chunky cross necklace and clasped her hands nervously in her lap. Clearly a newcomer, her voice trembled as she gave a little speech I recognized.

"I'm a Christian, actually," she said. "I mean, I have a relationship...

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