THE BLOG
06/27/2014 11:04 am ET Updated Aug 27, 2014

How Facebook, Wine and Television Almost Destroyed My Life

Brand New Images via Getty Images

OK, I am being slightly dramatic here for effect, but Facebook, wine and television almost destroyed my life. Let me explain.

When working with my healer, Stephanie Syd Yang, on abundance after my mother passed away, she blurted out, "Write a vision board!" They were words I was familiar with. I had put together a million vision boards over the last few years -- one where I posted my head on Brook Burke's body, and another where I posted a picture of the Burj Al Arab hotel before I really even knew what it was (and subsequently went to Dubai a year later). Why hadn't I made one for quite a while?

Sagely following her advice, I went to a craft store and bought a bunch of cool stuff to put together my vision board, with a background of the world map covered with passport stamps, in honor of my desire for world travel. I went home and got to work. To my surprise, I spent hours -- yes, hours -- perusing through magazines, looking online at what caught my attention, clipping out pictures and pasting them on my beautiful and bejeweled Vision Board. Jimmy Choo shoes, a trip to France, becoming a published book author, creating my female-centric Crush the Box gaming app, Chanel bags, more shoes, toned abs, health.

It was an explosion of beautiful desires all over the page, and it was fun to just imagine what I wanted out of my life. Oh, and if you're wondering why a relationship wasn't on the board, it's because there were so many shoes and hand bags that there was no room left for Mr. Right! Lol... just kidding, I have an adorable boyfriend of almost two years. But seriously, there literally was no room for his face after all the Chanel and Jimmy Choo (forgive me, honey!).

So now that I had completed the majority of my vision board, I had clarity about what I wanted at a gut level. That got me thinking: If I was going to achieve these goals, I would have to understand what was holding me back from let's say... writing my book. In my mind I wanted to complete it and see it published, hopefully people would enjoy reading it, but why wasn't I writing in it now? I wrote that question in my journal and what I observed over the next few days astounded me.

I used to say that I had A.D.D., but now I realized that was an excuse. After observing my behavior for a few days I wrote in my journal: "I'm realizing that I distract myself in numerous ways during the day. It's a version of procrastination and a self-imposed roadblock. By being aware of this, I can change my behavior." Wow!

Having said this, I am embarrassed to tell you I took a break from writing the last few minutes to watch "cutest parenting moments" on boredpanda.com via Facebook. I'm ashamed. OK, not really, but at least now I am aware of all the ways I distract myself from doing what is most important to me -- spending minutes here and there checking my horoscope, looking at Facebook, searching the Internet for good vacation deals. Never mind the ways I spent my time doing things to please others!

Now mind you, I don't want to spend every waking moment of my life writing. I would like to be able to spend time with my friends, watch movies, drink wine and yes, look at cute stuff on Facebook. But I also don't want to spend all my time doing the former and wake up one day to find that I didn't have the discipline and focus to make my contributions to the world and to live my dreams.

In addition to noticing ways I distracted myself from the task at hand, I also wrote that "I was afraid my work wouldn't be good enough, wasn't sure how to improve it and had a fear of the process." Writing a book is a massive project. It is certainly a task that requires time, effort and concentration. I had some real fears, and at least now I knew what they were.

In his article "The Psychology of Getting More Done (In Less Time)", Gregory Ciott states "It's hard to be productive while trying to maintain high energy levels through your entire day. It's much easier for your brain to approach a 90-minute session of productivity when it knows that a 15-minute break is coming up afterward." Basically, big projects freak us out. A great way to achieve the larger goal of writing my book was to tackle it in smaller pieces, focusing on the discipline of writing and the task, versus the big picture. Maybe I could even take 15 minute wine breaks in between?

As the Bible says in Matthew, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." I asked and I received. Now if you will excuse me, I took a break from writing my book to write this blog. Back to the task at hand!

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