Wake Up Democrats: You Are Hung up on Barack, but Hillary is What You Need
As a long-term registered Democrat who increasingly identifies as an independent and has weathered a torrid, post-9/11 love affair with conservatism, I am in a good position to judge Democratic prospects this nominating season. And I think we ought to listen to Mama and let Daddy-o go.
Fellow Democrats, there's something I've been meaning to tell you, but I've been a little uneasy bringing it up. Well, here goes. I don't think Barack Obama is for you. And I think we need to talk about it.
Wait, wait, before you get defensive--just hear me out. I know you love him. I know he's got a lot to offer. He's handsome, brainy, charming, passionate, and your love is brand spankin' new. Of course he wants you madly - who wouldn't? - and you're crazy about him.
But sweeties, listen to me: you don't really know this man.
And that's a big problem.
For starters--and please don't hate me for saying this--he's too young for you. Yes, I know JFK was young, too, but that was a long time ago, the world was simpler then, and anyway, Barack Obama--lovely as he is--is no Jack Kennedy.
When he pursued your nomination, JFK was a war hero. He had served six years in the U.S. House and--count em!--eight years in the U.S. Senate. Barack Obama has served seven years in the Illinois state legislature and three and a half in the U.S. Senate, one of those on the campaign trail. So please wake up and realize this man is not your first love. He may have JFK's charm, but he does not have his level of experience.
Next, you've been acting sort of like groupies lately, and it's getting embarrassing. I mean, crying and fainting when he speaks? What's that about? Are you nominating a President or the next American Idol?
Sure, Barack wants to help the disadvantaged, and students, and cares about energy independence. I hear you. Sure he gets you hot when he looks into your eyes and delivers his stirring speeches. But can he provide for and protect you and your children?
He wants to raise income taxes, social security taxes, and corporate taxes, straight across the board. That is no way to grow an economy.
And--I have to say it--the whole Jeremiah Wright incident really freaked me out.
"God damn America!?!"
Aren't you American? You can try to rationalize it away, sweeties, but that was a major dis--of YOU. And of me. And of every American, black or white, who doesn't believe that our country, for all its faults, is the Antichrist. Since when does a guy who loves you let his friends put you down?
Consider this: your sweetie Barack believes he can solve the world's problems by talking with our enemies. But over twenty years of friendship, he hasn't managed to influence his good friend and "spiritual mentor" Reverend Jeremiah Wright. How's he going to manage Iran's Mahmoud "The-Holocaust-is-a-Myth" Ahmadinejad, whom he has pledged to meet, without preconditions, in the first term of his administration?
He's already taking you for granted. He says he values you, but then he treats everyone who shlepped out to vote in Michigan and Florida like you're invisible. And forget about getting an autograph.
OK, I'm almost finished. Just let me put in a word about Hillary.
I know, I know, you've known her forever, and the newness has worn off. She's like that worn-in pantsuit you borrowed from your Mom, and what's sexy about that? But with her, you know exactly what you're getting.
She's got years of experience. Eight years in the White House advising the President. Trust me, she knows her way around.
She can talk policy till she's red, white, and blue in the face.
She cares about all of you, even those whose votes Howard Dean doesn't want to have count (Howard Dean--I warned you about that guy, too).
She would move heaven and earth to have you. You've got to admire her passion and determination! She cares about people in need around the world. But she also cares about you! She's brainy AND she's shrewd. And she gets the big picture.
She's no fan of war, but she understands that when you're dealing with terrorists like the ones targeting Iraqi civilians and our troops, kumbaya don't cut it. Back in August 2006, even before the surge, she was practically chanting, "Hey hey, ho ho, Donald Rumsfeld's got to go!" because she knew we needed a fresh approach to get our mojo back.
She understands not everyone loves you, and not everyone is nice, and sometimes having hope is not enough. This is important. Because I know you don't like to think about it, but you have enemies.
Lots of people are jealous of your beauty, freedom, and strength, and they are plotting every day to hurt you. She will protect you. Pre-9/11, Bill wasn't as vigilant as he should have been, what with all the philandering. But you don't need to worry about that with her--she's been dreaming about you her whole life, and she'll be faithful.
Wild sex appeal doesn't last. Dedication does.
Besides, from the right angle, I think she's very attractive.
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How condesending can any one person possible be! The more Clinton supporters talk, the more determined Obama such as myself become! No real Democrat uses fear as a reason to not vote for someone different, that is why I suspect this person is really a Republican. Military service is not now and has never been a requirement for anyone wanting to be President of the United States, we have a thing here called civilian rule! Plus that experience argument rings hollow as well since some of our best presidents didn't have vast experience when they became president either. If Hillary Clinton was as confident with the amount of experience she has she wouldn't feel the need to pad her resume and sometimes outright lie about her accomplishments! This post and the auguments contained within it is just like the Clinton campaign, pathetic!
This article is an insult, even to the Clinton supporters!
Please dont participate in the smear of Rev. Wright. Its not cute.
Oh Heather, sweetie, sugar , honeybumps, I really appreciate your concern. Really, I do. While I have not known Barry very long, he seems very charming and intelligent and nice, even to people who say mean things about him. He is strong too. He defends himself against mean people by pointing out where their attacks are wrong and is secure enough with himself to not be mean to them back. While Hillary is beautiful and rich and extremely smart, there are times when she seems to get frustrated and a little abusive when she does not get her way. I appreciate you advice and will think long and hard about Barack but I think it is a bad idea to take romantic advice from someone who has a long history of abusive relationships.
xxxoooxxx
Frank
This country needs hillary in the white house like it needs an enema from a firehose. Here you go; let me paraphrase another unprincipalled Rupert Murdoch prostitute, Dennis Miller - Hillary deserves to be President like Elvis deserved his black-belt. It is good,however, that "She understands not everyone loves you" because the voters REALLY don't like her!
Or, I would add, the writer of this piece of mindless drivel...but then again what can you expect from a mindless cupcake who writes for "The Daily News".
Maybe you should stick to fashion articles sweetie; those jeans make your butt look too big.
What a ridiculous post. "What I need" is to believe in the candidate I vote for and a President I can trust. Neither of those qualities bear any semblence to Hillary Clinton. While you compare Obama's experience to JFK - you failed to compare Hillary's. Of the two, Obama has more experience as an elected official than Hillary.
"She will protect you.". What exactly will she protect me from? Because I'm a hell of a lot more scared of fascism than terrorism. And when fascism comes to the USA it will be wrapped in the American flag and spouting patriotic slogans and speeches. I didn't embrace conservatism after 9/11, those who did were drinking that fascism koolaid.
Is anyone else as surprised that the person who wrote this is actually a professional writer?
I'm not surprised she's a professional writer...I'm not so sure she's much of a thinker, however.
As for the Rev. Wright flap, get over it. Everything he said America did, it DID do!! And as for the God Damn America...it's a rhetorical twist for f*ck's sake - used to make a point. It's patriotic to call your country to a higher way of being and a preacher's stock in trade is rhetoric! Sometimes shocking for effect.
If you're upset about Rev. Wright, as regards Obama, your judgement is very very bad, dearie! (oh, sorry, was I condescending there?)
As Mr. Spock would say, "Highly Illogical."
lol
The right angle is her backside as it exits the door. And hopefully you'll be right behind her.
This garbage about what we know and what we don't know makes you a candidate for pseuds corner--my own favorite feature of Private Eye.
You also might want to do a little homework on Jack Kennedy because you don't know what you are talking about.
Kennedy was a light weight (my father was at Harvard with him) whose daddy managed to get him elected Senator. He was on the wrong side of many issues (like segregation and McCarthyism--you know that right?) just like his brother Bobby.
But both men grew as politicians as they climbed the greasy pole. JFK surrounded himself with the best and brightest--something I suspect Obama--but not Clinton--would do. In a way they were the right men at the right time because the big picture became apparent to them.
Kind of like Obama.
Thanks for the patronizing but error filled history lesson.
This author is delusional. Hillary's main justification for running is that she's taking loads and loads of crap for too many years to count. In other words, she's "tough." Yeah, she's tough all right, like a punching bag hanging 40 years in the gym.
Obama doesn't come off as tough to me. Once he said that he was only going to run once, I knew then, he's not dedicated. Hillary is dedicated, she's been on top of these issues all of her adult life. Hillary has forgotten more policy than Barack will ever know.
When and where did he say he is only going to run once? Source please.
oh yea - hillz is dedicated alright - she's dedicated to her damn self. if billz is making all the loot by giving speeches as the ex pres of the u.s. then imagine what they will rake in once hillz is the ex pres?! i am sure they are grooming chelsea to take the thrown in 2030.
Usually criticism doesn't bother or threaten me, unless you're just trying to hurt me feelings.
I was brought up to believe that criticism can help you grow. And I don't want to hear from anyone who has not listened to that sermon or the sermon Audacity of Hope.
I wouldn't vote for Hillary if Jesus told me to!!!!!
Nice try tho.
Let's see, you identify with independents and became a post-9/11 conservative, and think THIS puts you in a good position to judge Democratic prospects?
No, thanks.
Heather . . . is pulling all our legs . . . putting us on . . . don't yopu guys get it? this is a backhanded endorsement of Obama. . . who will, God wiling, go on to become our next president and restore some sanity to this fucked up country.
Is this person auditioning for the void left by Ann Coulter?
"Switch-hitting
By Heather Robinson
Had a little fun tonight over at Huffington Post. Liberals can sure be touchy, even when you write something positive about one of their own!"
http://politicalmavens.com/index.php/2008/04/05/switch-hitting/
You warned people about Howard Dean? You mean you warned about the part where he won Democrats the first off-year election in like a billion years, or the part about where he built up party machinery in states that never had anything?
Please keep writing. You probably lost at least 30 on-the-fence voters with this.
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