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Hector Aristizabal

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Only Darkness: A Torture Survivor Dreams of Dick Cheney

Posted: 09/27/11 12:34 PM ET

Dear Mr. Cheney:

I had a dream last night, but there was no Tuscan villa, no newspaper, no coffee. Only darkness. And you.

If this sounds like a nightmare, it wasn't. Not really. I have had my share of nightmares -- terror dreams that are hard to distinguish from what really happened to me, in that cell, all those years ago.

No, this was different. I didn't wake up covered in sweat, wondering if the sounds in my head -- the sounds of muffled cries, of grown men whimpering like children -- would ever stop.

In this dream, we sat together, though I'm not sure where. I could not see you, but I could hear your voice. You were asking me questions. There was no malice in your tone, no aggression. No emotion whatsoever.

You asked if it was true, what I wrote in my book about the night they took me away. Yes, I answered. You were silent for a moment, then you said, "Tell me what it was like."

So I told you.

"I was 22, not that much older than your oldest grandchild. The government was waging war on what it considered to be subversive elements -- all those who opposed their totalitarian rule. I was considered a threat to national security, because I believed in freedom of speech, freedom of thought, freedom of association. In the parlance of today, I was not a high-value target, but that didn't matter. The repression was indiscriminate, lacking the precision-guided 21st century intelligence that, we are assured, prevents bad things from happening to innocent people. The military came to my house and took me away. I was held for three days and three nights without food or water, deprived of sleep and subjected to what some of your friends like to call "enhanced interrogation techniques" -- electricity, waterboarding-- that would leave no marks. Of course I got off easy compared to many torture victims who endure weeks or months of more extreme persecution. In the end I was among the lucky ones. I was released and, after the murder of more friends than I can count, I left and came to this country."

When I stopped talking, we sat in silence for a few moments. Then you asked, "Why did they let you go?"

I paused, then said, "A delegation of human rights observers, some from the U.S., saved my life."

Several minutes passed. I waited for you to break the silence. Finally I said, "What would you have done if you were my interrogator? Would you have tortured me?"

Just then a faint light illuminated your face for a few seconds. I looked straight into your eyes, searching for a trace of compassion, of self-doubt, of humility. But all I saw was an old man staring right through me, as if I wasn't there. Then the light receded and we fell back into darkness.

Hector Aristizabal, a torture survivor from Colombia, is a psychotherapist and theater artist based in Los Angeles. He serves on the board of the Program for Torture Victims.

 
 
 
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lastpost
see biography
08:41 AM on 09/28/2011
"all I saw was an old man staring right through me"
The husk of our malevolent ancestry. Which evolution, praise god, may soon finally free us of.
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Dan Slander
08:31 AM on 09/28/2011
Daydream believer your nightmare is over now that your in the USA defended by the likes and nuances of many Cheneys performing dirty underhanded actions that like it or not contribute in some way to keeping you and this country safe. It ain't morally upright but it far surpasses what other countries offer. Is Cheney the closest thing to Darth Vader? Certainly creates that impression. Does he have the courage of conviction, a patriot and done a lot for this country's protection? Ditto.
renoir
Comfortably Numb
11:30 AM on 09/28/2011
You need to do some reading, son, and grow some actual ethics. You have no world view outside of your own experience. "Courage of conviction, a patriot"? Honestly you just ruined my whole day with your horrifying world view.
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Dan Slander
09:47 PM on 09/28/2011
You have the wrong impressionist Renoir. You need to think abstractly and objectively and most of all realistically.
06:59 PM on 09/28/2011
Dan? Do you know what Laws are? You do understand that the VP cant break them whenever he wants, right? When his accusers take him, can they water-board him to get the truth about his infractions? Will that be OK? Hey Dan, we are fighting three wars. When the enemy captures our people, can they use Enhanced interrogation on our kids? Is that going to be OK with you. They will just me contributing in some way to keeping them and their country safe. That's cool right?
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Dan Slander
10:26 PM on 09/28/2011
I'm not denying Cheney's law breaking or questionable morals, only his commitment to the USA and its defense. Mandela murdered innocent people but no one questioned his commitment.

As far as the enemy using enhanced interrogation. Given that they behead journalists and kill kids indiscriminately on trains and planes I have a sneaking suspicion they may already lean slightly in favor of it.
05:55 AM on 09/28/2011
Clarity folks… - PLEASE. Fortunately I live in the USA – whereas many of you DO NOT, so I can speak to this truth:
We here, are allowed to protest…the right way – the wrong way gets you placed in jail.
If you do things that are reprehensible…according to the moral majority (often times – our leaders, elected/appointed officials) – you go to jail. If ‘we the people’ don’t like it – they’ll get booted…one way or another.
If you know, OR – ASSOCIATE with people that are like those cited above and you do something as described above…you guessed it – you go to jail. Guess what…you become the authoritarian’s “favorite”.
Again, I’ll say it for clarity – we have fundamental rights here in this country, you are however compelled to exercise them in the correct manner…if you don’t…you guessed it.
ALL elected and appointed US government officials are compelled to abide by many principles – but one I’ll state – to protect this country from all enemy’s foreign and domestic.
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aliceandthecat
the most curious thing I ever saw
10:58 PM on 09/27/2011
Torturing someone does not necessarily produce good or accurate information. People will say anything to get pain to stop, the confessions of Spanish Inquisition should reveal that. People confessed to things that could not possibly have happened, flying on brooms, copulating with demons, being spoken to by cats...yet they confessed to things anyway. Why, to end their torture. Torture does not garner accurate intelligence or information.

At least that is what the cat told me.....
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Chris1962
NYC
12:09 AM on 09/28/2011
>>>Torturing someone does not necessaril­y produce good or accurate informatio­n.>>>

It produced the existence of a courier, who eventually led us to bin Laden's door.
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01:28 AM on 09/28/2011
"Here's what we do know, at least according to current administration officials: They argue that torture played almost no role in getting to bin Laden. In fact, two of the most high-value detainees -- KSM and bin Laden chief operations man Abu Faraj al-Libi -- actually lied about the important courier when asked about him.

They were dismissive about his importance, and didn't identify him beyond the nickname the CIA already knew. The key here: The CIA already knew that the courier had been a KSM protégé.

"It was their lies that alerted us," said one senior administration official with knowledge of the operation. All in all, Mohammed had been waterboarded 183 times -- and he still lied. "The help that KSM provided was inadvertent," this source said. "He didn't know what we knew."

Indeed. The CIA knew he had something to protect. The next obvious question: How did the CIA get the info on the courier's importance? How did they know Mohammed and al-Libi were lying? Apparently from a less valued al Qaeda operative, who let it be known that the courier was actually a KSM protégé and close to al-Libi, too. Was he waterboarded? We do not know for sure, although one senior administration source said he was not waterboarded." Gloria Borger
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03:04 AM on 09/28/2011
I read the article and it does not in any way contradict what Borger says; but it goes to great lengths to avoid saying it. So again you mistake your interpretation of facts for fact.
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QuercusQate
Nomo DOMA.
07:36 PM on 09/27/2011
I was in Argentina in the mid-70s, living in a student pension, when I and all my roommates were collected by the military and taken to jail -- for the egregious crime of being university-educated youth. We, and about 25 other young women, were deposited into a 10' x 12' cell, where we were not allowed food or sleep. Indeed, we couldn't lean against the walls, squat, or sit down. When we had to pee or poop, we used a small drain in the middle of the cell. We developed a human shield around each other, face out, to provide a modicum of privacy from the hooting men in the drunk tank across from us. We were in these conditions for about 48 hours.

By a fluke of my American citizenship I got away before being transported to prison, but my roommates were never again seen by their families and friends. We can only assume they were among the thousands of "desaparecidos" buried in mass graves throughout Argentina.

I don't think my personal experience qualified as torture, but I would not wish the same upon anyone, even upon the "guilty" or the "enemy." There is something fundamentally wrong with governments, agencies, and people (especially those in modern cultures) who find such treatment to be appropriate, whether or not it yields an intended result.
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bcbailey64
10:24 PM on 09/27/2011
You are absolutely correct. We are all members of the human race. When a government, ANY government, including the exceptionally inclined US of A, tortures human beings, REGARDLESS of what they have done, it is breaking the law (the Geneva Convention) and it is morally bankrupt. I have zero respect for Dick Cheney, George Bush and any other member of the US government which advocated/supported/didn't speak out against the torture committed in it's name. They brought about a huge drop in world respect for the US and it will take years to regain the world's trust.
07:26 PM on 09/27/2011
Cheney is the Heifetz of euphemism.
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Sam Damon
Do or do not, there is no try.
06:51 PM on 09/27/2011
“all those who opposed their totalitarian rule” and yet you came to America anyway? Why?
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Acemkr6
Trying to keep the left honest!
06:29 PM on 09/27/2011
What a great little essay, Yawn!!!
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turf1
08:35 PM on 09/27/2011
So sorry you find the misery of others boring. Perhaps your mind would be changed if you experienced being hung by your arms for days in some crap hole in South East Asia. Have a great life!
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Koeiseun
09:14 PM on 09/27/2011
There have been times in my life when I myself, have come across as apathetic and heartless, but you are one miserable arse....A fact you are most likely very proud of.....Ever thought about trying to grow up???
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tnkeating
Dyslexic agnostic insomniac
06:10 PM on 09/27/2011
It sounds as though you believed in the wrong values, but you know bad things do happen to good people, but how do we know you are really good people?
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avantegirl
My micro bio is so micro you can't see it
06:31 PM on 09/27/2011
How do we know you are?
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tnkeating
Dyslexic agnostic insomniac
07:19 PM on 09/27/2011
You don't but I'm not trying to convince anybody of my innocents and being wrongly persecuted. I'm even confused as to what government is he (Hector) referring to? He speaks of Dick Cheney but mentions totalitarian government, I don't get the connection?
03:32 AM on 09/28/2011
What wrong values?
03:13 PM on 09/27/2011
I assume that the "torturers' got the info they wanted from you. Otherwise your torture would have been much worse than you described.
Javalation
Laughing in a Daydream
03:41 PM on 09/27/2011
Apparently you don't realize that torture of the innocent yields no info,
regardless of how much worse they make it.
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marco01
04:36 PM on 09/27/2011
Wow, I hope you don't consider yourself an American. Torture would have been much worse, unbelievable, you probably typed that without a moment's pause for irony.
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03:10 PM on 09/27/2011
mr. cheney considers himself a hero for "defending" our country while despoiling everything that make our country worth defending. he is cynical, sociopathic and detestable.

the only retribution he is likely to receive in this life is he is doomed to be "that person", i would hate to be similarly cursed....
MrStat1
I believe in the rule of law
04:23 PM on 09/27/2011
How do you know he gives a damn about what you think of him?
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marco01
04:37 PM on 09/27/2011
I know he doesn't. He's the most arrogant leader this country has ever seen.
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05:43 PM on 09/27/2011
agreed. i have no insight to mr. cheney's mind. i'd bet pennies to pontiacs mr. cheney cares nothing about what i think of him. my only observation is that if i were him, i'd be ashamed.

i suspect the old vpotus would only suffer shame if he were "caught"--perhaps finding himself in a place that justice would be measured and applied, a foreign country perhaps. i suspect he would be ashamed he was caught, not ashamed of his actions...
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datenutloaf
RestInPieces GOP
02:04 PM on 09/27/2011
Dick Cheenee is a blight on the US......

I am sorry he and his henchmenn, David Addington and Wu et alia , ever gained so much power in the previous administration.

They shamed us.
MrStat1
I believe in the rule of law
04:23 PM on 09/27/2011
Shame is a value judgment. What is shame to you may be honor to others. it's a matter of perspective.
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phal4875
The world is run by cats; we just feed them.
04:29 PM on 09/27/2011
Your slogan talks about a belief in the rule of law. The United States has prosecuted both Japanese soldiers in World War II and Americans in Vietnam for waterboarding people. The shame that Cheney and the other chicken hawks brought to us involves breaking laws against torture - laws to which we subscribe.
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marco01
04:39 PM on 09/27/2011
Moral relativism at its worst. And you talk about the rule of law. The law was perverted and twisted to allow torture, the law became meaningless under the Bush admin - it was whatever they said it was.
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grilledturbot
If youve got a business.you didn’t build that
01:57 PM on 09/27/2011
Dear HP, you posted this from a person that says he was tortured yet he doesn't seem to say who committed the torture, rather he fantasizes about Cheney and speaks as if our former VP has something to do with his plight. A quick search on goog@e reveals he says he was abducted by the Colombian military and they are behind his torture. Supposedly some of his abductors were trained at a school associated with Ft Benning, then returned to Colombia.

I feel very badly for this person and the way he was treated. I want to know specifically why he picks on Cheney. Now the author lives in this country and apparently profits from his background. He should be proud to be here but doesn't seem to be.

At the top of this article the word 'fiction' needs to appear beside the title.
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Baileygk
homosexual socialist, and proud of it!
02:38 PM on 09/27/2011
I think you may need some reading comprehension lessons. Yes, this is fiction. I could tell it was not the US that did this from the author's description after his name.
I believe this was meant to bring the reader on a thought process of what he us feeling during Cheney's recent book tour and his unapologetic embrace of torture.
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Timothy Thocher
my doG looked in the mirror and saw God
02:40 PM on 09/27/2011
You feel badly for this person, but defend Cheney who enthusiastically supports these tactics, and ordered their use against detainees. You have no problem with the US using and training other countries in the use of torture. You are as bad as Cheney if this is the case.
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grilledturbot
If youve got a business.you didn’t build that
05:15 PM on 09/27/2011
You remind me of something J Kerry said once....you've entered a period of know-nothingism. Stop lying Tim. You put words in my mouth, you said I'm defending Cheney when I'm not. You say I don't have any problem with the USA torturing but yet I'm against it.

I'll tell you what I defend is my country. We didn't torture the author, his own people did. Why doesn't the author return to his homeland? No problem he's doing quite nicely here. It's folks on the left like you that pave the way for more hate when you should want to unite Americans. Someone should remind this person that he is very fortunate to be in this country, not pat him on the back for promoting the hatred of Dick Cheney.
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chaotician1
01:28 PM on 09/27/2011
America should be ashamed, but we are not!
America should be outraged, but we are not!
America should be afraid of our loss of freedom, but we are not!
America should be terrified of our loss of basic rights, but we are not!
America should be mortified by our ignorance, but we are not!
America should rebel from the destruction of our comitity, but we are not!
America should demand economic justice, but we do not!
Oh America, how could this noble experiment of governance with the consent of the governed have failed so badly?
MrStat1
I believe in the rule of law
04:24 PM on 09/27/2011
It is only your opinion it has failed. To millions upon millions of us we see the US has been a success!
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traceymarie
the President is black, deal with it
05:37 PM on 09/27/2011
torture and lying is not success
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Koeiseun
09:18 PM on 09/27/2011
Millions upon millions??? Pure fantasy on your part, sir......
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alexeiz
Since I lost all hope, I feel much better!
03:42 PM on 09/28/2011
Faved! --- "...and then they came for me..."
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Realbluesky
01:22 PM on 09/27/2011
Our day America will no longer be the most powerful nation in the world. Let's hope that the successor treats us better than we've treated them.