Money probably won't make you happy, but there's something that will.
Study after study has shown wealth has surprisingly little effect on how happy you are. Most of us tend to think that if we just made a bit more money, we'd get more satisfaction out of life or have a greater sense of well-being. But on the whole, this turns out not to be true. So why doesn't money make us happy? Recent research suggests the answer lies, at least in part, in how wealthier people lose touch with their ability to savor life's pleasures.
Savoring is a way of increasing and prolonging our positive experiences. When we focus on what we are doing in the moment, when we eagerly anticipate something or relish our memories of it, and when we relive it by describing it to others, we are savoring -- and in the process we are enhancing our own happiness. Taking time to experience the subtle flavors in a piece of dark chocolate, imagining the fun you'll have on an upcoming vacation (and leafing through your trip photos afterward) and telling all your friends on Facebook about the hilarious movie you saw over the weekend -- these are all acts of savoring, and they help us squeeze every bit of joy out of the good things that happen to us.
Why, then, don't wealthier people savor if it feels so good? It's obviously not for a lack of things to savor. The basic idea is that when you have the money to eat at fancy restaurants every night and buy designer clothes from chic boutiques, those experiences diminish the enjoyment you get out of the simpler, more everyday pleasures, like the smell of a steak sizzling on your backyard grill or the bargain you got on the sweet little sundress from Target.
These new studies show people who have higher incomes spend significantly less time savoring their experiences than their relatively poorer peers do. Interestingly, just being exposed to images of wealth can dampen your savoring skills! In one study, college students who had recently seen a photo of a stack of money spent far less time eating a bar of chocolate -- gulping it down rather than relishing each bite -- and displayed far fewer signs of enjoyment than those students who hadn't seen the money. Just thinking about wealth can make us lose sight of the good things happening to us right now.
Part of the reason I found these studies so interesting is they fit so well with some of my own experiences. A few months ago, my mother was visiting me in NYC, and we decided to treat ourselves to a special dinner at a particularly good restaurant in Little Italy. We got ourselves all dolled up for the occasion in dresses, jewelry and high heels (as the mother of two small, messy children, you'll typically find me in t-shirts, yoga pants, and running shoes). I was even carrying my one designer handbag -- which I bought at an outlet and treat like it's made of gold. I remember thinking in the taxi on the way down to the restaurant how much fun it was to dress up for a change. And then it occurred to me that if I did this sort of thing all the time, I probably wouldn't enjoy it at all. I thought about what a shame that would be and wondered if being rich could turn out to be, in some sense, surprisingly boring.
The good news is that you don't have to take a vow of poverty to be really happy and appreciate your experiences to their fullest -- even rich people can set themselves the goal of savoring more once they realize they aren't doing enough of it. Really, no matter how much money we have -- or how little -- we could all do with a bit more savoring of life's simple pleasures.
The trick is actually remembering to do it -- and that's where "if-then" planning comes in. I've written a lot about this strategy in my book "Succeed," because it's so effective. If you want to remember to do something, decide when and where you are going to do it in advance. People are, on average, 200-300 percent more likely to achieve their goal if they use this form of planning. So, if you want to remember to savor, you could make plans like the following:
Make savoring life's little pleasures your goal and create plans for how to inject more savoring into each day, and you will significantly increase your happiness and well-being much more than (or even despite) your growing riches. And if your riches aren't actually growing, then savoring is still a great way to truly appreciate what you do have.
Follow Heidi Grant Halvorson, Ph.D. on Twitter: www.twitter.com/hghalvorson
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Can Money Buy Happiness?: Scientific American
Happiness Tied to Choice and Autonomy, Not Money | Psych Central News
Can Money Buy Happiness? — The American Magazine
Study: Money Buys Happiness When Income Is $75000 - TIME
Like the author of this article said " If I see something beautiful, then I will stop, soak it in and feel fortunate to have seen it." THat's how I live now. A life filled with gratitude. I could never be that materialistic ever again.
Perhaps "more" is just another four letter word.
http://edition.cnn.com/2011/TRAVEL/08/11/costa.rica.escape/index.html?iref=allsearch
doing what is right.
I remember as a child, visiting my grandparents during the summers in Yugoslavia. Those moments, on hot summer afternoons, when we all sat around a large farm table drinking think Turkish coffee or eating ice cream, were absolute heaven.
The savoring was the secret! Every moment seemed to last forever, no rushing, no wishing to be anywhere else.
Thanks for reminding me.
http://graciouslivingdaybyday.com/
You know, this reminds me of my grandmother, I remember, growing up, I looked forward to my birthdays, she would give me a bar of my favorite chocolate, in those days, chocolate was a treat.
And she would make my favorite cake.
Happiness is being loved for who you are, for being yourself.
I don't have a lot of money so I can only speak as someone who doesn't have monetary wealth, but I've found riches of all kinds in the simple things as you've pointed out. I think many people rich or not, have lost touch with the core of who they really are and they miss seeing that they are part of the whole of life and as such, just as magnificent as the most spectacular sunset or the tallest redwood.
We've forgotten that we are part and parcel of the universe. And that in itself makes life brighter and brings peace. We can find it inside of ourselves and not have to externally add more and more to make us feel better. It is awareness of the simplest of things that bring me the greatest pleasure and your post is great for getting that message out there.
Joyce
http://makingsenseofitall.joycerothman.com
If someone, like myself, thinks that money is good because it buys you certainty so you can have better experiences - especially meaningful relationships and including enjoying the little things (maintaining humility with one's good fortunes).
You said yourself "And then it occurred to me that if I did this sort of thing all the time, I probably wouldn't enjoy it at all." Right... because it would sabotage your gratitude to think luxury would be great all the time.
So I still think money can significant bring happiness and point to 'doing better' and 'satisficing' to improve basic quality of life. I understand a Porsche Boxster won't make me happier than a Miata...because those are related to (short term) joy, not value-driven (long-term) happiness.