In the modern workplace, we don't actually talk to each other as much as we used to. Communication now often takes place via email, a change that has brought with it both convenience and its own unique set of challenges. One obvious problem is that conversation via email eliminates all the vocal and visual clues (e.g., volume, body language, facial expression) we normally use to convey subtleties of meaning that aren't captured by the words themselves.
Sarcasm, exaggeration, and emotional tone can be completely lost, and misunderstandings are common. You can easily end up coming across in a way you never intended, and getting yourself in hot water with the email's recipient. Most of us know this only too well.
What you probably don't know is that there are subtle aspects of your emailing style that routinely influence the way your messages are perceived, in ways you may not have intended. Learn to identify your own style, and you can use that knowledge to your advantage.
As readers of email, we've all become adept over time -- without even realizing it -- at searching for clues to what a sender means beyond the words he or she uses. New research has identified three cues people use to make (largely unconscious) judgments about the sender's motivation, mood, and status.
Cue #1: Errors
Mistakes in your writing -- either grammatical or typographical (e.g., misspelling) -- leave the reader with a very distinct impression: you don't care. Errors are taken as a clear sign of apathy, and even disrespect. Sloppy emails leave people believing you can't be bothered to do it right. They are the written equivalent of unabashedly yawning in someone's face.
Tip: Unless you are actually trying to seem lazy, disrespectful or detached, errors are something you should go out of your way to avoid.
Cue # 2: First vs. Third Person Perspective
Compare the following sentences:
We decided at the meeting to postpone the sales event.
It was decided at the meeting that the sales event would be postponed.
The content of the two messages is exactly the same -- only one is written in first person ("we") while the other is written in the more formal, less personal third person style. Research shows that people often make two assumptions about you when you opt for the latter style: that you are not an "equal," and that you are possibly a little ticked off.
Writing in the third person comes across as significantly more hostile than the friendlier, less formal first person. Third-person writing is also perceived to be more typical of a supervisor addressing a subordinate or vice versa -- its formality suggests that either the sender or reader is in a position of power relative to the other.
Tip: If you want to send a subtle reminder to a subordinate about your authority, or just seem like you have more authority than you actually do, try keeping the "I," "we," and "us" out of your email message. This is also a good idea if you yourself are the subordinate -- first person messages can seem less professional and respectful.
If, on the other hand, you are trying to put someone at ease (or assure them you are not angry), using "I" and "we" will probably do the trick.
Cue # 3: Exclamation Points!
Exclamation points in an email express much more than just your enthusiasm. Though you may not have intended it, they also tell the reader that you see them in a collegial, even chummy sort of way. Their informality and emotional emphasis suggests a relationship of friendship, rather than one of mere coworkers.
Tip: Using occasional exclamation points in emails may be a good strategy for making a difficult coworker more cooperative and generally well-disposed toward you. It's a subtle way of saying, "Hey, I think of us as friends."
To a supervisor, however, exclamation points may set a tone that seems overly familiar, and unprofessional. For your punctuation needs, stick to a simple period.
Follow Heidi Grant Halvorson, Ph.D. on Twitter: www.twitter.com/hghalvorson
I remind them that to send someone--anyone--an email like that in a formal situation (like to a teacher or anyone else you don't know well or with whom you're not engaged in an ongoing and familiar conversation) is the same as running by the recipient's office and shouting out the sentence: "Why did I get that score on my test?" before bolting off down the hall.
It's rude, unclear, and badly ill-advisable when the sender wishes something from the recipient.
The world of email would be much better if people learned or remembered common courtesies of greeting and leave-taking in more formal contexts, just like are expected in face to face or other written interactions.
The world of email (and the world in general) would be much better if older people would realize that things they used to think of as standard practice are no longer such.
Clearly this is a matter of opinion and yours differs from mine. No problem.
You're making a pretty big assumption about me being "older," that is unless you're fourteen or so as your demeanor suggests.
The thing is, format in e-mail is not something that only older people use. Even in e-mails to friends, you should include some forms of salutations such as 'Hi Mel!' and end with something like 'See you tomorrow.' That's just basic manners, and should not be something exclusive to an older generation.
Salutations in e-mails are also used in more formal situations, such as e-mailing your professor or sending your resume. The whole point of a cover letter is to introduce yourself to your potential employer, and if you dare to skip salutations in that, then you are a great deal less likely to be hired, because they would very rightly conclude that you're lacking in the manners department.
So really, instead of criticizing others for expecting more from you, perhaps you should consider improving yourself instead.
As for the rudeness in the e-mails, perhaps it's best if you preempt those actions by making it clear to your students on the very first lesson that you will not answer any e-mails that doesn't follow a basic format (my professors tell us to include our names, student number, course code, section number, and if we're contacting our TAs, tutorial section number in the subject line) as well as adhere to the basic rules of courtesy. I know these things should be common sense, but sometimes you just need to spell these things out.
Hope it helps!
Sadly, my university allows its students to make third-party addresses their official ones so I can't fall back on the ability to determine identity from university email addresses.
1.) Misspelling. Do it a lot, not intentional, thinking about what I wanted to say, and trying to get my fingers to keep up is a chore.
My mind runs ahead, and I lose my train of thought (Happens in old age, you'll find out, if you live that long). Funny thing is, my "spell checker" is about as dumb as I am. It can't tell the difference between there, and their either. Maybe I need a grammer checker, but she's in the other room watching TV.
2.) Humor. or worse, irony. Sometimes I'll try to make a point by humor (or irony). Some get it, seems like most don't. Can't advise it, hasn't worked well for me. (Just like my grammer comment).
3.) I see many people comment on misspellings, or grammatical errors. It puts me in mind of a line I recall (vaguely) from the PBS series "I CLAUDIUS."
"It is true I have difficulty hearing, but it is not from lack of listening".
"It is also true that I have a speech impediment (he stuttered) but Isn't what a man has to say, more important, than how long it takes for him to say it?
For me, when it comes to grammar and spelling, I'm pretty laid back. I make enough mistakes of my own, for me not to criticize others when they do.
Mistakes in your writing -- either grammatical or typographical (e.g., misspelling) -- leave the reader with a very distinct impression: you don't care. Errors are taken as a clear sign of apathy, and even disrespect. Sloppy emails leave people believing you can't be bothered to do it right. They are the written equivalent of unabashedly yawning in someone's face."
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Explains all the poor spelling on the signs displayed by the TPers...!
: (
blind melon scayf does not deign to use spell check.
May your reign be very melony, Your Scayfness.
Offenders include: ellipses (and I admit I'm an offender!)... if you're going to end a sentence, well why not?... why just do this ... and another phrase!
Ampersand. I want Obama to end his speeches with "... and please stop using ampersand for "and"! One is grammar, one is a word!"
blind melon scayf does not deign to use spell-check.
They were correct; you were not.
I don't know how many emails I've received, where the whole text is a huge one-page paragraph.
I feel your pain. I wonder if said offenders realize how much more difficult it is to read something online if it is not broken-up properly. It's easy for me to lose my place in the huge wall of text.