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Helen Little

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Fifty Shades of Blues - A Reader's Withdrawal

Posted: 05/22/2012 1:26 pm

I've been thinking about starting a support group. I'm experiencing Fifty Shades withdrawal and I'm not alone. I got a bit of advanced warning when my girlfriend Dawn started to severely suffer from FSS - Fifty Shades Syndrome. I was just discovering book one when she completed book three and had a minor Christian Grey meltdown. I almost mocked her for the over dramatization of her attachment to her fictional friends. That is until I started to understand her adhesive obsession. My wild ride through the pages of E.L. James' trilogy was a mix between voracious page-turning consumption of every single word, and deliberately slowing down the inevitable trek to the end because I could see that I was on my way to the same place. The delicate balance between those two sensations almost drove me mad, akin to one of Christian's pleasure paining punishments, like when he wouldn't allow Anastasia to reach full passion. It's a very Grey-esque torture to not want to finish the books so the ride isn't over but needing to finish the books because you must know what happens.

So now they are gone. And I miss them. They were a part of my days and nights over the past several weeks and I'm trying to figure out what to do with the remnants of their allure that's still resonates with me. I've already cast the movie in my head, pinned my favorite quotes from the books on Pinterest, created a Fifty Shades playlist with Britney Spears and Chopin, and upgraded my Wal-Mart wardrobe without the help of a Neiman's personal shopper. Now what?

I've even been thinking about getting an Audi. The books, an implicit commercial for the German automotive company, made them sound like so much fun to drive. I'm not interested in the submissive special and the R8 is way out of my price range. However, the Q5 could be a viable option. I saw someone driving the R8 on my way to work the other day and I wondered if it was a gift from a billionaire lover. That's when I realized the Grey blues had come over me. I had to phone a friend so we could commiserate in common. Thank goodness I was not alone and had someone to talk to about my condition!

Now, I don't want you to worry too much for me. I went through something quite similar but not nearly as severe with Katniss and Peeta after reading Suzanne Collins' trilogy. I subsequently submersed myself in all things Hunger Games. But I will admit having the movie in theaters so close to the time I finished the last book helped bring closure; that along with something new to read to give my imagination a cleansing workout.

The real problem is I'm not ready to move on from my Fifty. Yes, MY Fifty. Ok, OUR Fifty. I know a lot of people are managing their withdrawal by re-reading their favorite book in the series or reading all three again. I haven't decided if that will be my next move or not. So in the interim I will continue to lean on those of you who are also experiencing FSS. Together, I know we can get through this. Laters.

 

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