It seems I continually fight "The Battle of the Bulge," and the winner is the Bulge.
Why, oh why, am I cursed with a slow metabolism, willpower that fails at the least temptation, and mood swings that are dependent on the bathroom scale?
Everyone knows that the older we get, the harder it is to shed those unwanted pounds. What they don't tell you is it's not hard. It's freaking impossible.
Was it 30 pounds ago I thought I was fat? What did I know about aging and weight gain? I assumed that my surefire weight loss tricks -- like skipping dessert for a couple of days, or eating cabbage soup -- would work forever.
But once again I'm riding the weight loss train, headed for Old Clothesville so that I can get into my favorite pair of jeans by summer.
Dieting is hard. And I admit, I'm not very good at it. Maybe I need to come clean and confess why I'm not seeing results ... again.
Like mine, your diet may be doomed if you...
1. Cook and taste. Meaning: I've got a pot of chili on the stove. Does it need a little cayenne? Stir, taste. Maybe a touch more chili powder. Stir, taste.
2. Break a cookie in half and think you're only eating half the calories. You know you're going back for that other half. And you'll probably break a second cookie in half and repeat. Am I right?
3. Stand at the fridge. In the dark. Fork out some leftover lasagna while no one's looking.
4. Liven up that salad with croutons, bacon bits, and edamame until the mixed greens are undetectable.
5. Wear stretchy pants. Yes, I love them too. But they don't give you the foghorn warning signal of overindulgence that tight jeans do.
6. Go with the six small meals a day theory but still have your regular-size breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
7. Count yoga as your cardio activity.
8. Spice up your fruit intake with a little flour, sugar, and eggs -- as in, banana bread.
9. Vow that you'll work off that slice of pie with a workout. Forget that thought later.
10. Watch workout DVDs without actually participating.
Tell me I'm not alone. Do any of these sound familiar to you?
Dr. Oz's first tip for maximizing your cleanse is to keep hydrated by drinking a lot of H2O. Photo courtesy of Greg Riegler Photography
Dr. Oz recommends getting eight hours of sleep during your cleanse. Photo courtesy of www.metaphoricalplatypus.com
While you cleanse, you should avoid eating anything after 7 pm, says Dr. Oz. Photo courtesy of Nina Matthews Photography
According to Dr. Oz, you should take a warm bath with two cups of Epsom salt each night during your cleanse. Magnesium in the salt is beneficial to enzymes in your body. Photo courtesy of Mykl Roventine
While you cleanse, Dr. Oz recommends drinking dandelion tea before you go to sleep at night, which will help flush out toxins. To see Dr. Oz's last tip and his two-day cleanse menu see the March issue of O Magazine. Photo courtesy of Eduardo Mueses
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