In the last few weeks, I've been asked by major financial service institutions to speak to dozens of financial advisers -- both veteran top producers and youngsters who tell me that the three most prevalent emotions that fill their work days are frustration, anger and anxiety. It is hardly surprising to hear them say that client rants, from the opening bell through after hours trading, are bombarding them with anger, frustration, and depression.
Questions like, "Do you think this is a good company? How are their earnings? and by the way, how are your kids doing?" use to be the hallmarks of client-advisor conversations. Now, advisors report without exception it's, "Change my portfolio and liquidate my account," "How could you let this happen to me?" "Why didn't you see this coming?" "What's going to happen now?" How long before we get back to even?"
The challenge in our current financial world is not to understand the technical functioning of the economy. Rather, the challenge for all is to manage emotional funds -- yours and the people who surround you. If not, you are in for a bad time because emotions, particularly those accompanied by anger arousal, are contagious and toxic.
While I lack the know-how to manage your stocks and mutual funds, I do have the psychological expertise to advise you how to manage your emotional funds. Whether you are a financial adviser or a financial investor, my emotionally smart money tips will help you be more prosperous:
1. Tune into your inner dialogue. Who has a better day -- the adviser whose first thoughts are, "The market stinks, I'll lose a few clients today, what's the point of going to work?" Or the adviser whose first internal statements of the day are: "I am going to be successful, no matter what the market does." Their thoughts and yours in the form of internal self statements are powerful influences that shape your feelings, and if you are experiencing emotional distress, there is no doubt that these thoughts are counterproductive. The state of the economy might not be to your liking, but even if you are out a tidy sum, telling yourself, "I am ruined" is not going to help. Better to increase your awareness and use thoughts to keep your emotions in check and to focus on the present; "Things are bad but I can handle it and will be ok," would be helpful to tell yourself throughout the day.
2. Immunize yourself to the overly emotional. Research confirms that emotions can be likened to a social virus -- they are contagious and spread from one person to another. Dow Jones might be a manic-depressive, and your clients and colleagues might also be on an emotional roller coaster, but there is no reason you have to go for the ride. Your immunization shot is learning to relax in the presence of others whose emotions are on a bad trip. Developing a relaxation response will allow you to keep your cool when others are hot, anxious and panicky.
3. Respond to the message of emotions. Evolutionary psychology tells us the function of emotions is to communicate information so, you can enhance your emotional savvies by responding to the message of the emotions. For example, when you're frustrated, your emotion is communicating that you are not meeting your goals; anxiety tells you that you are uncertain, anger is an alarm letting you know that something is wrong, and dejection says you feel no hope. Thus, manage your frustration and the frustration of those you may advise by establishing short term goals so that feelings of accomplishment can be achieved. If you are anxious, ask yourself what you are uncertain about and then take steps to reduce your uncertainty. If you are anxious about whether an investor is going to stay the course or jump ship, make the call and find out. Depending on their response, you might be upset or euphoric but having taken uncertainty out of the loop, your anxiety will dissolve and you can move ahead. For anger, ask yourself "what's wrong?" and know that your thoughts are becoming distorted -- mountains instead of mole hills and lots of blaming of the innocent. Use your relaxation response to make your perceptions accurate and use anger management self statements: "I can handle this. What is the well adjusted, wisest action for me to take?" If the news is bad, cool angry investors by pointing out they are losing less money than others, and if that isn't true, take the stance, "we will figure out the best course to take." Anger is often created by unrealistic expectations so everyone on the Street would be acting with emotional intelligence by clarifying and assessing their expectations. For the dejected and depression prone, check your internal thoughts for doomsday thinking -- they're killing your hope for the future. Also, get your feelings out, talk about your fears but then give yourself the challenge: "what do I need to do to make business better?"
4. Remember your humor. There is little too laugh about on the Street today but that doesn't mean that your humor needs to slump. Aim for ten laughs a day -- the endorphins generated will make you feel good. Accomplish the goal by taking a couple of ten minute humor breaks in which you read your handy joke book, or better yet, gather your troops together for a "formal" joke session before the day begins will create positive energy needed to make the day productive. When was the last time you called a client to simply pass on a laugh? Watching a funny television show before you call it a night is a good recommendation too. There is even a place for "gallows humor" to let go of your deepest fears by mocking them.
Frustration, anger and anxiety are the real bears, lions and tigers today. However, if you learn to manage and tame them, when the time is right, you will be able to change the "Oh My," to "Oh BUY!"