I'm sure there are times when your best-laid plans don't pan out. You may seem to be going along just fine, when suddenly -- wham! -- a setback sends you veering off course. Your forward movement comes to a grinding halt and your motivation plummets. At such times, your self-esteem may crash as well, leaving you waylaid by feelings of fear, doubt, and hopelessness.
People respond to setbacks differently. Most, however, experience a setback as some type of loss -- whether of direction, motivation, self-esteem, confidence, or pleasure in their job. Most also tend to go through the same stages in coming to grips with loss -- disbelief, anger, wanting to turn back time, depression, acceptance, hope, and positive activity.
To regain your momentum, you must fully experience and move through each of these stages. You might experience several stages at once, or you might return briefly to a stage you've already passed. The only requirement is that you thoroughly work through each stage. This is where your comeback toolkit comes into play.
It's not easy to deal with setbacks -- they are emotionally arousing, draining, and taxing. The good news, though, is there are specific skills that can help you turn a setback into a comeback. The key is to remember to use them. Here is your comeback toolkit:
1. Tune in to your thoughts. Many will be exaggerated and irrational statements: "My life is over, I'm a failure." Counterpunch using rational thoughts that give you perspective: "It's not the end of the world, I will have many other chances."
2. Use your sense of humor. Doing so will help reduce your negativity, restore your perspective, and the endorphins will energize you.
3. Practice relaxation. This will prevent you from feeling overwhelmed and stressed out and keep your thinking rational.
4. Engage in physical activity. Keeping active energizes you for positive action and prevents you from sitting home and feeling sorry for yourself.
5. Use your support team. Don't complain to them but go to them to help you problem solve.
6. Reassess goals and priorities. A setback becomes a great time to look for new life path.
Setbacks happen to all of us. I suggest you make a list of the tools mentioned and keep them in sight -- you'll be more likely to use them and it will be easier to turn a setback into a comeback.
I'm sure you have your comeback tools too -- I'd like to hear them.
For more by Dr. Hendrie Weisinger, click here.
For more on mindful living, click here.