100 Holiday Wishes

100 Holiday Wishes
This is my holiday wish list. May they all come true.

• Mr. & Mrs. Barack Obama: A spot on Dancing with The Stars.
• Chicago: Olympics 2016.
• Sasha & Malia Obama: An air of normalcy.
• Odetta: May technology propel your voice and your spirit forever. Every generation must know you, my dear sister.
• Gov. Blagojevich: Time travel.
• Mrs. Blagojevich: A phone with a mute button.
• Sen. Ted Stevens: Another fruitful term in office if you can build a border to keep Palin from invading 'the lower 48.'
• Larry Craig: A longer door for the bathroom stall.
• Eliot Spitzer: A discreet mistress.
• Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick: maturity.
• Alberto Gonzalez: Humble pie.
• John Edwards: A slice of Mr. Gonzalez's humble pie.
• Joseph Lieberman: Lessons in loyalty.
• Mayor Sharpe James: A legal eagle.
• Governor Jim McGreevey: A real man.
• Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa: A marriage counselor.
• Starr Jones: A real man.
• Wanda Sykes: A real woman.
• Jesse Jackson Jr.: US Senate seat.
• Beyonce: More success as Sasha Fierce.
• Reggie Love: More success as a trusted White House confidante.
• LeBron James: A Chicago Bulls jersey.
• Snoop Dogg: Parenting classes.
• Condi Rice: A lucrative speaking tour.
• Samuel L. Jackson: More hit movies.
• Common: A beautiful wedding.
• John Legend: seats, front-row and center, N'Digo Gala 2009.
• Jay-Z: Bouncing baby Beyonces
• Tyra Banks: An Emmy.
• Tyler Perry: An Oscar.
• Charles Barkley: More opportunities to raise hell.
• DL Hughley: A DVD Collection of Stepin Fetchit and Amos N' Andy films.
• Nick Cannon & Mariah Carey: Beautiful, talented little ones
• The Auto Industry: A business plan.
• Alicia Keys: More movies.
• Janet Jackson: Rest & relaxation.
• Jermaine Dupree: More outlets to keep doing your thing.
• Lindsey Lohan: A stylist.
• Bill O'Reilly: One hour, no cameras, with President-elect Obama.
• Dave Chappelle: A Chicago tour.
• Don Cornelius: Anger management.
• Morgan Freeman: A helluva divorce attorney.
• Phil Spector: A hair stylist. Or a wig maker. Or both.
• Gary Coleman: A job.
• Rihanna & Chris Brown: Longevity in music and in your union.
• New York Giant Plaxico Burress: A safety lock for your gun.
• Amy Winehouse: Sobriety.
• Nicole Ritchie: A job.
• John Mayer: More music. Less drama.
• Madonna & Alex Rodriguez: Piping hot bliss.
• Ashley Dupre: A long walk in Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss' shoes.
• Dog The Bounty Hunter and his wife Beth: Stylists. Spa. Sensitivity training.
• Ted Kennedy: Longevity and good health.
• Actor Joaquin Phoenix: A record deal. Keep trying boo, just keep trying.
• OJ Simpson: 33 years? Damn. Ok. Fan mail. Soap on a rope. A credit card for the commissary. DVD of the first season of Oz.
• Flavor Flav: A dentist.
• I Love New York (aka Tiffany Pollard). Spend an hour with Valerie Jarrett. Observe her conversation and style. Emerge forever upgraded.
• Hill Harper: More books for our young men and women.
• Chef G. Garvin: More cookbooks for our young men.
• Rufus Williams: Funding for Chicago Public Schools, sponsored by Rev. Meeks.
• Omarosa: A T-shirt that reads: Style isn't money. Money isn't class. Neither is worth it if you must act an ass.
• Elizabeth Hasselbeck of The View: A room with a view of reality.
• Jesse White: Many more years for the world's best tumbling team.
• Police Chief Jody Weiss: A roundtable meeting with the leaders of our underserved communities, before you arm your cops with assault rifles.
• Todd Stroger: An Affirmative Action Plan.
• Lena Horne: N'Digo Gala 2009 seats front row and center, next to John Legend.
• Seal: More Harold's Chicken. You must visit Chicago to get it, sweetie.
• Joe The Plumber: A reality check.
• Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie: A live-in hairstylist for our beautiful baby, Zahara.
• Art Norman: A clone so that your good work in the community can be doubled.
• Desiree Rogers: May the sun shine and the birds sing at all of your White House social gatherings.
• Teesee Hooks: A special society report from 4400 Pennsylvania Avenue.
• James & Pauline Montgomery: More of everything that your hearts desire.
• B.B. King: More of you.
• American Idol's Simon Cowell: Less of you.
• Lovie Smith: A Super Bowl ring.
• Deloris Jordan: Even more reasons to smile. May happiness be with you and the Jordan clan, always.
• The LaBelles: A successful comeback tour.
• Father Pfleger: A promotion to Pope.
• Rush Limbaugh: More eggs on your face.
• Ken Olbermann: A carton of eggs.
• Rachel Maddow: Continued success.
• David Letterman: A repeat interview with John McCain.
• Chicago Politics: A public relations specialist.
• Judge Greg Mathis: A biopic for the big screen.
• Michael Moore: A new hat to wear in your next documentary.
• Tiger Woods: A golf game with President-Elect Obama.
• Aretha Franklin: Spanx.
• Jennifer Hudson: Peace after a tragic storm.
• Usher: Success as a family man and a new stream of income. (Besides entertainment).
• D'Angelo: A revival to your music career.
• Small business owners: A bailout.
• Oprah: The Lincoln Room of the White House (just for the weekends).
• Roland Martin: A TV show.
• Larry King: New suspenders and a suit jacket.
• The White House: A jazz collection to include John Coltrane, Miles Davis, Frank Sinatra, Dinah Washington, Count Basie and Sarah Vaughan.
• Mayor Daley: Light snow.
• Gov. George Ryan: A pardon.
• Rahm Emanuel: Brass knuckles.
• Al Sharpton: A Senate seat.