Ketch Me If You Ketchikan - in which ex-Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska travels around the state trying to stay one step ahead of the law now that the feds have inexplicably vindicated him from his corruption case. Gov. Sarah Palin makes a guest appearance.
Lawlessness & Disorder - in which Mexican drug cartels compete against Colombian drug cartels to see who can out-fox the DEA and sneak drugs into the U.S. faster and more efficiently.
Adopt-a-Thon - in which celebrities compete to see how many third world babies they can adopt in a short time period.
Culled Crooners - in which all the rejects from past American Idol seasons live together in the same house and compete for a record deal. Sanjaya creates a lot of drama in the first episode, and continues to astound us with different hairstyles each week. Paula drops over unexpectedly for pep talks, sometimes more than once a day.
Banker Boppin' - in which we follow the adventures of bankers from the top five U.S. banks as they try not to be pelted with tomatoes and other objects by angry crowds. Very Stephen King.
Facebook Frenzy - in which three contestants, all obsessed by the glorious time suck that is Facebook, compete to see who can spend the most time updating their FB page in a 24-hour period. The winner gets an app named after them.
The China Syndrome - in which Chinese-made toxic toys somehow make it into America and are chased around the country by a gang of lovable, earthy-crunchy activists.
Britney Spears Circus Toxic Tour Bus - in which we follow the adventures of the dancers that are currently on tour with Britney Spears. Cameras installed all over the bus capture moments both snoringly boring and diva dramatic.
Everlasting GOP-Stoppers - in which a gaggle of young Democrats spend the next 3.75 years going door to door canvassing for Obama, without waiting to see if he's going to run for reelection in 2012.
Crackberry Combat - in which thumb-typers compete against each other in classic reality show competition situations like eating insects, bungee jumping, dating Bret Michaels, cooking with a secret ingredient, walking the runway. The catch is they have to send a text before each competition segment and are eliminated according to how fast or slow they can type. Sponsored by Research in Motion.
Read more of Holly Cara Price's ruminations on the slings and arrows of outrageous pop culture on her website, Snoop* Du Jour.