Rubbernecking: Jon and Kate Plus Fate
As the child of divorced parents, it's difficult for me to watch Jon and Kate Plus 8 without feeling the knell of doom in the pit of my stomach for their children. It's glaringly obvious that they are soon to join the millions of kids in this country who grow up in a home without both parents. Add to that their horror when they are old enough to realize how their lives have been exploited for TV ratings and you've got the makings of eight hefty therapy bills in the future.
As you probably know unless you've been on a tropical island for the past few weeks - and that tropical island didn't have any TVs or stores that sold tabloids -- Jon and Kate Plus 8 is a-tumblin' down in the tackiest, most spectacular fashion. Things couldn't be worse personally for them, which means that ratings couldn't be higher, since we love to watch misery unfold when it's not our own, especially during these hard times.
Jon's having an affair! Kate's having an affair! Jon's sister urges viewers not to watch the show! Kate's brother claims the kids are being exploited! The Labor Department of the State of Pennsylvania is investigating possible breach of child labor laws! Jon lied about quitting his job - he was actually fired! Jon's girlfriend's brother is selling their sex bed on Ebay! Kate ignored her kids during a recent vacation, huddling with boyfriend/bodyguard instead! It doesn't end!
I scoped the first three episodes of Season 5, which debuted on May 25 with an hour long episode loosely based on the sextuplets' 5th birthday party. Show tagline: It might be a crazy life but it's OUR life! Although I had never watched it before, I can see why this show is completely addictive. You're clearly watching the final days of a marriage as J & K are interviewed separately on the couch. You can practically watch their relationship disintegrate in real time. And it's not pretty, but it's true rubbernecking -- you can't look away.
Jon doesn't care who believes him, he knows what he knows. "One day my kids are gonna google me and I'm gonna have to explain myself," he pouts. Both parents complain about the paparazzi following their every move and profess to be sick over becoming tabloid fodder. You have to appreciate the irony here. These people invited TV cameras into their home for monetary reasons five years ago. They were nobodys who became somebodys because they're on TV. They allow cameras to film their children's most intimate moments in the bedroom, the bathroom, what have you. And now they're complaining because they're so famous that they're making headlines. Boo hoo! The only Gosselins I feel sorry for are all under the age of nine years old.
OK, so meanwhile, Kate's been on a book tour for her book Multiple Blessings (a new book, Eight Little Faces, came out in April). She's decided she likes the fans after all (they used to creep her out) now that it's clear she's got a cottage industry going and they are the fuel. She's not so happy that she's been away so much that the kids are now calling her by the babysitter's name.
Kate, with no help from Jon and lots of bitching about it, arranges a big 5th birthday party celebration for the sextuplets. She's got big-time martyr syndrome; you won't help me? OK, I'll make it even harder on myself -- I'll make a huge production out of it! Instead of renting a private space she opts for a big open parking lot area and then is pissed off when the photographers appear. She's also annoyed that the kids know how to pronounce the word "paparazzi" which she's forbidden them to say. Much pint-sized hilarity ensues, ending with piñata bursting by the children. Methinks the piñatas should have been in the shape of Jon and Kate themselves.
The premiere ends with a couch interview where both parents profess to be "for my kids." Note they never once say "our kids." Classic.
Episode 2 is even sicker. Jon's away skiing in Park City, Utah with his buddies. Kate starts up again with the 'it's all about my kids' routine ... the TV show, the writing, "it's all a deep desire to provide for my kids." Meanwhile, am I crazy or correct when I say nothing says 'Fuck you' like your husband going skiing on your birthday? The two older girls (aged eight) plan a surprise birthday trip for Kate and the gang, they go to Charm City Cakes (home of the Ace of Cakes show - love those cross promotions!) for a visit. Each child is given a cake to decorate along with plenty of help from the Charm City employees. It's a roomful of screaming kids hopped up on sugar. The sound guys are in agony.
While this is taking place, Jon's decided he wants to 'give back' and help out the folks at the National Ability Center, where kids who are physically challenged get to experience what it's like to ski. How sad is this -- instead of being home with his own children on his wife's birthday, he's out there in Utah with his friends, putting in a few hours of looking-good time with other people's kids. Anyone with half a brain can see where this is going: Divorce Court. Maybe another cross promotion can be arranged if that show is still on the air.
Episode 3 of the new season finds Kate and daughter Maddy going away for a spa trip to San Diego, while Jon is at home with the other seven children trying to keep them occupied by taking a walk in the woods during which one of the 5 year olds, Alexis, falls and cuts her lip. Holy Bad Dad, Batman.
Unless absolutely every channel blacks out on me, I can't see myself giving too much more time to this program. It's too reminiscent of watching my own parents' marriage disintegrate, only without the cameras inside and outside the house. I don't need to relive those days.
At one point during the season premiere, Kate mourned that parents of multiples have triple the divorce rate. How about parents of multiples who allow their lives to be splashed across all forms of media, write books about it, claim to be doing everything for their kids while they're raking in the cash, and act like self-important assholes? Because that's what Mr. and Mrs. Gosselin are. She's a bully, and he's a wuss. And anyone could have told them that reality TV and a good marriage do not mix. Can you say An American Family*?
(*for those who don't get the reference, read Wikipedia's entry on the 1973 TV series An American Family, which chronicled the disintegration of Bill and Pat Loud's marriage while TV cameras recorded every moment of their and their children's lives. Arguably the first "reality show," the directors were documentarians Alan and Susan Raymond and the series aired on public television.)
Jon and Kate Plus 8 airs on TLC, apparently all the hours God sends. Good luck finding something else on that channel, in other words.
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The easiest solution to this "problem"--don't watch it! How many hours are wasted weekly on scouring for information on these insignificants' lives? The fact that she has a "bodyguard"--that should tell you something right there. These people have been led down this path, probably by some slimy agent, assisted by their own greed.
First of all, what's the problem, from all I see, Kate is an excellent, organized, involved mother. The children don't seem exploited to me, they are clean, happy, and have a lot of great experiences most kids won't have. They seem to like the camera, the attention, like all kids would. Why is everyone turning on them, they are stay at home, involved parents going through a bad patch in their marriage, LEAVE THEM ALONE!!!! They should not be tabloid fodder, must be a slow time for the Paris Hilton types.
They put themselves in this position when they signed up for 40 episodes per year.
How anyone can call Kate an excellent mother I will never inderstand. She is no role model. How sad.
If 'use' you mean film 3 days a week on elaborate family outings then yes. I barely ever saw my parents because both worked...no one seems to worry about the real problems of American kids...which isn't making millions looking cute on television.
Frankly, I'm sick and tired of people always saying " but what about the children! " It's a cop(sp) out and any of your lives are just as important as a 0 to 18 yro kid. It's fake a way for manipulative people to seem human.
Exactly.
The main thing I take exception here to is the statement that "As you probably know unless you've been on a tropical island for the past few weeks - and that tropical island didn't have any TVs or stores that sold tabloids -- Jon and Kate Plus 8 is..." Yada yada yada. You know the only - and I mean ONLY - way I learned about this show?
Huffington Post.
Never heard of it before then. Never watched it. Still haven't. And still won't. How about changing that statement to "As you probably know unless you've been on a tropical island for the past few weeks - and that tropical island didn't have any TVs or stores that sold tabloids -- or you're intelligent enough to never watch a single second of reality TV, Jon and Kate Plus 8 is..." Yada yada yada. Guess what - I don't like rubbernecking on the highway either! Am I the only American who isn't interested in the private lives of anyone besides my friends and family (and not in that gossipy way either.) Celebrity, TV reality 'star', musician, TV host, politician, -President-, and especially when these people 'crash and burn' ... I'm serious, someone explain why schadenfreude is so compelling, I'm starting to think there's something wrong with me.
I've never seen the show, and hell I must be living under a rock( or maybe I just have a life) but honestly I could care less about Jon, Kate or their children. Honestly who cares? What is so special about them? Don't get it I guess... but even for a mindless distraction Jon & Kate seem to cater to the lowest of the lowest common denominator.
I love how we're all 'just so concerned' about their kids. Their marriage is probably suffering for A LOT of reasons (like having 8 kids and mismatched personalities) and while I keep reading how they just keep 'destroying' their family for money I can't help but laugh. Their kids have a house that can meet their needs and funding for their education--statistically speaking the chances of this marriage lasting were slim even before factoring in the really show--at least with the show they won't have struggle as much to support their children if they split.
Why is a reality show any less moral than any other business?
Perhaps because other businesses don't use children as a means to improve their financial outlook?
What I don't understand is Kate's refusal to admit that she had any part in the apparent demise of this family. I am sure that she has watched seasons one through four. If so she couldn't have helped but see what Jon and the rest of America saw in her behavior. The first couple of seasons weren't too bad but when they moved into the second home and all the fabulousness started to happen, things started to go downhill.
I am not saying that Jon is blameless but when you're not getting what you need at home, you look elsewhere.
For you An American Family fans, in 1983, PBS broadcast An American Family Revisited: The Louds 10 Years Later. Then in 2003, the show Lance Loud!: A Death in an American Family aired. In the 10 Year Later broadcast the family said that if they had to do it over, they wouldn't have done it.
great article. The person who wrote this really hit something. First of all the divorce in the making effect on the kids - I def. agree. Jon and Kate plus 8 prescriptions of prozac. They're good kids but I think that the media effect just got to their parents too much. And you can't tell me that on some level kate hasn't wanted this kind of fame for a long time. Who doesn't in some ways. But you can't treat your man like crap for 10 years and treat him like he's utterly incompetant and a child and not expect that it will destroy your marriage. If that is the essence of your relationship - big woman small man you are veering towards a trainwreck eventually. What woman in her heart of hearts really wants a man she can humiliate and demasculinize every day??? Yeah, you'll get married and have kids but you won't be happy and you'll have to hope that the man is weak enough to put up with it til your kids are grown. And with Jon on national tv with increasing exposure I don't think he can subject his person to that especially in the public eye. Lastly, yes this show is insane. I like it but its done bad things to me. I used to be a happy 28 year old guy who liked sports and beer and other things that are good. Thanks a lot jon and kate plus eight. Make that 9 prescriptions
"Holy Bad Dad, Batman."
was meant to be sarcasm.
"Jon is at home with the other seven children trying to keep them occupied by taking a walk in the woods during which one of the 5 year olds, Alexis, falls and cuts her lip. Holy Bad Dad, Batman."
i can see most of your points in the article, but he's a bad dad because one of his children tripped and fell while running around outdoors????
Have to agree. Typical childhood event is what that was.
agree. If we don't want them to get hurt, should we get them to live in bubbles? Get lost in reality and don't know how to get back up after falling?
All of us convince ourselves that our many decisions in life are for our children. Rarely they are, but the intentions may be honest. I submit that most likely the idea of a reality show that would pay good money did help to ease fears that they might have trouble providing for that many children. I am not sure Jon worries about anything because after all he has Kate. I think she wore the shoes in the family from day 1 and he just went along like another child which he frequently acts like. Kate became bitter. I recognize bitter and it sure can turn anybody into a shrew.
What is sad is that they could have instead banked that money and lived modestly and then bailed ASAP when they felt they had enough of an nest egg and went back to being a normal family. Of course that is easy for me to say because I do not have gobs of money being thrown at me to keep a reality show going.
It doesn't look promising that these two pretty screwed up individuals will get their lives back on track. Everybody is a loser. I agree. It is time for some good thoughts for this family.
Divorce is a very tough family issue, and my heart goes out to these children who will be caught in the middle of this mess. I hope Jon and Kate and their families take their heads out of thier butts and start focusing on the children.
You're absolutely right, it is extremely difficult to watch the direction this family has taken. I found myself physically uncomfortable watching the season premiere, like this is something we aren't meant to see. Maybe it's time Jon and Kate take a step back privately, as they keep referencing it's a private matter. Actually, we were so moved by this we wrote more on it, would love to know what you guys think of it: http://www.betterwaymoms.com/articles/59-jon-kate
Time to end the show and put family first.
You could also...y'know...stop watching the show.
That'd be a good idea.
I don't watch the show and hope others will not as well. The children deserve better.
While negative news and gossip swirls around the web about Jon & Kate Gosselin and their family, a new blog is joining the ranks of those praying for this couple and their family - JonandKatePrayers.com. The purpose of this blog is to refocus attention on praying for this couple, their marriage, and their family's healing.
Featured also are many resources and tools to help strengthen your marriage.
JonandKatePrayers.com
How about prayer AND ACTION!
It amazes me that they have chosen the show over the family. I for one can't sit through another one, it is too painful. Plus I resent the fact that they think they are fooling the American public into believing they are just out of town, or busy elsewhere, etc. and we are so stupid that we don't know what is really happening. Jon is so over Kate, that he can't even contain the smile on his face when he is with his "friends". Kate is so into playing the victim, comments, sighing, you name it. I bet she can't believe she blew it. She probably wishes she could take back all those slaps and put-downs. Its embarrassing. I think it would be interesting to try and contact the children from "An American Family" and find out what they remember about their parents divorce disintegrating before the world stage. Has it had an effect on them? Do they resent their parents for it? If they did have bad feelings about it, maybe THAT would finally wake up these Gosselin parents that have lost all reason when it comes to this show.
Many believe they are ruining their childrens childhood and there is not all that much of that left. Hopefully they wake up before it is all gone.
"I think it would be interesting to try and contact the children from "An American Family" and find out what they remember about their parents divorce disintegrating before the world stage. Has it had an effect on them? Do they resent their parents for it? If they did have bad feelings about it, maybe THAT would finally wake up these Gosselin parents that have lost all reason when it comes to this show. "
Very good point. Someone needs to look into this. Although surely they must know what the Dionne children went through and that hasn't mattered to them at all.
They both disgust me. Children are not commodities to be marketed.
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