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Holly Robinson

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The One Political Stand My Fox News Mom and I Can Take Together

Posted: 10/04/2012 4:17 pm

As the presidential contest comes to a rolling boil, my mom and I have to tread carefully in every conversation. She is a staunch Republican, a Fox News junkie and the widow of a Navy commander. I have always voted the liberal ticket; I'm an NPR listener and a New York Times subscriber. Our votes will cancel each other out.

In Mom's view, Obama is a socialist who will soon have Big Government controlling everything from the car industry to what my kids eat in the school cafeteria. In my view, Obama is the kind of thoughtful, compassionate leader who I want representing my country in the world. I disagree with Romney on so many points -- starting with women's issues -- that my choice is clear.

Mom and I can (almost) joke about our political differences at this point. We love each other, and we both know there's no changing the other one's mind. But when Obama became the first president in office to declare his support for same-sex marriage, Mom shocked me silly.

"Well," she said, "I don't really see what's wrong with it. Why shouldn't gays be allowed to marry?"

Truly, I nearly choked on my dinner.

Now that I've had a chance to mull things over, though, I have realized that, if President Obama is brave enough to express that view, and if my own conservative mother is willing to speak up about her beliefs, it's high time for me to do the same, despite my many conservative friends and family members.

So here goes: I believe, with all my heart, that same-sex couples have the right to love one another and to show that love by getting married if they so choose. Furthermore, I believe that those couples should have the same legal rights as any other "straight" married couple. The reason is obvious: a marriage where any two people declare love, devotion, hard work, and loyalty between one another for a lifetime deserves to be honored legally, as well as profoundly respected.

Most people who read my work won't be surprised by my support of gay marriage. After all, I'm a writer, and that (sort of) makes me an artist. And artists are, by and large, liberals, right? So why even bother to spout off something that people could already guess I believed, if they knew me or my writing at all, especially in a public forum? After all, I am not typically a political writer. I am a behind-the-scenes sort of volunteer, helping out at schools, libraries, and occasional town events. The rest of the time, I'm either putting on my pants to go to work or passionately writing essays and novels whether I sell them or not.

But this election is one of the most important in our nation's history. All of us, no matter who we are or what we believe, must make our voices heard. From this moment on, I am determined to bring out my mighty pen and leave my political scratchings in the public arena.

If you haven't done it yet, get out there, all of you writers and artists and musicians and dancers. Devote yourselves to your craft and live for your art, yes. But speak your mind and make your politics known. Put up a sign on your front lawn, argue your beliefs with family and friends, get out and vote, and be a living example of what it means to be active in civic life.

 
 
 

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As the presidential contest comes to a rolling boil, my mom and I have to tread carefully in every conversation. She is a staunch Republican, a Fox News junkie and the widow of a Navy commander. I h...
As the presidential contest comes to a rolling boil, my mom and I have to tread carefully in every conversation. She is a staunch Republican, a Fox News junkie and the widow of a Navy commander. I h...
 
 
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02:57 PM on 10/05/2012
Thank you for these encouraging words. This article will get me into some interesting and needed discussions, I am sure. God bless you!
Jay Haney
My nuclear family imploded when I was 18. I've bee
10:56 AM on 10/05/2012
The world is on the brink of massive change, Ms. Robinson. I humbly submit that artists such as ourselves (I myself am a ghostwriter and am currently studying Video Game Design at the Art Institute of Pittsburgh Online) can see that coming before most folks because we're closer to the pulse. My own departed grandfather, Army veteran of WWII, had some hard views and thoughts about gays but he also made allowances for the fact that the world could and usually does change. One of the last things he told me was "go with the flow." By that, I think that he meant the larger cultural flow that was picking up steam even when he died in 2005.

I think that's really the reason why I have such a problem with the current crop of social conservatives. The previous ones were no exception, but these guys...ha! They feel the walls closing in on their world and they're scared shitless. It's making them lash out.
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sandyinalabama
Prejudices are what fools use for reason.
09:43 AM on 10/05/2012
What a wonderful article. My entire family is staunch republican and we just don't talk politics at family functions, which works well for us. My grandmother, who just passed away this year at 103 years old, did vote for Obama in 2008 after voting her entire life (well, after women got the right to vote)
straight republican. I was never so proud of her.
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FlamingLibrul
11:45 AM on 10/05/2012
Your grandmother sounds awesome! Lucky you for having had her in your life.
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sandyinalabama
Prejudices are what fools use for reason.
02:01 PM on 10/05/2012
She was a very cool lady ~ born in 1908 in the 'free state of Winston' in alabama. The best stories, ever!! She met my grandfather when she was 16 ~ he was up a pole (he worked for Alabama power company and they were bringing electricity to her town for the 1st time) and he whistled at her..
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Allene Stucki
09:34 AM on 10/05/2012
Conservatives have nothing against gay people being happy in loving relationships. Their hangup is that they see the steady erosion of the family unit as the foundation upon which everything that is wrong with America rests. and they interpret, perhaps erroneously, gay marriage as just one more chipping away at the integrity of the traditional family unit.
09:58 AM on 10/05/2012
Not "perhaps erroneously."

Erroneously. Period. And as long as they continue to do so, you can stop with the fantasy/fallacy that conservaitve have nothing against gay people being happy in loving relationships. That's BS. The implication is that conservative loving relationships are still superior. They are not.
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StevenWells
Objects in the avatar are larger than they appear
10:04 AM on 10/05/2012
I'm sure there's an element of what you suggest in conservative opposition, but amongst the sea of possible causes of that erosion, their focus on same-sex marriages is hugely disproportionate, to the exclusion of almost all else. Combine that with the specious nature of the the theory to begin with, and my conclusion, for the most part, is that it's nothing more than a cynical and convenient excuse for opposing something they already resisted, but for underlying reasons they are either unable or unwilling to articulate.
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Allene Stucki
10:58 AM on 10/05/2012
I fully agree.
09:26 AM on 10/05/2012
My mom is a fervent Catholic, but she's had 15 years to deal with my sexuality. And just this summer my partner and I finally gave her twin grandchildren, which she's been asking me for since I came out to her. We recently took one of those political polls, and when she hit the question about gay marriage, she clicked somewhat agree, rather than fully agree. So I asked her, what reservations she had about it. She said it just makes her feel uncomfortable. After all this time, that's still what I have to deal with. Which is progress, I guess.
Jay Haney
My nuclear family imploded when I was 18. I've bee
11:02 AM on 10/05/2012
Look at this way, Jonjon. At least you both are still talking, she still accepts you as her child, and you ARE making progress. Is it where you want it to be? Of course not. But take the above as a sign that one day you might get there. It's more than some people get.
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Holly Robinson
Author of The Gerbil Farmer's Daughter: A Memoir
04:12 PM on 10/05/2012
One step at a time, Jonjon--and congratulations to you and your partner!
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Devin DeWeil
Live, laugh, and LOVE LIFE!!!
09:26 AM on 10/05/2012
"Put up a sign on your front lawn, argue your beliefs with family and friends, get out and vote, and be a living example of what it means to be active in civic life."

Couldn't have said it better myself!
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Ioan Lightoller
Proud Gay Pagan Man, Living Happily With Husband
07:43 AM on 10/05/2012
Great post, Holly! Mos can definitely shock the heck out of you lol. Mine shocked me by actua,,y accepting the man who is now my husband andattending oru wedding. Your mom and mie are proof that ione is never to have a change of mind and heart.
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cds12765
I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested.
07:40 AM on 10/05/2012
What a very nice article. Your mother sounds like a terrific lady. I wish you both the best.
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imsureidontcare
06:09 AM on 10/05/2012
What a fine article. I especially like how you were able to get your reasons for supporting same sex marriage into words. It seems easy for you i imagine, being a writer, but i struggle with it. My usual line is something to the effect of "With all the hate in the world, why would we do ANYTHING but encourage love??" It so simple in my simple mind lol. I suppose my not believing there is a god simplifies the matter for me too. I've long wondered how two people loving one another can negatively affect people that don't even know them, and that has been a point of anger for me. I don't like seeing people victimized, and that feeling is enhanced when "God" and his petty human intolerances are used in doing so. The whole issue ought to immediately become nothing more than a black eye on the face of American history.
Jay Haney
My nuclear family imploded when I was 18. I've bee
11:07 AM on 10/05/2012
Well, there is a reason I became a neo-Pagan myself. Call me silly if you will, but whenever MY gods talk about THAT god you talked on in the post, they always call him "Yahweh, the Great Pretender" with all the contempt that title implies.

I've always hated bullies myself though I started just as unenlightened about gays as anybody. But I grew and I changed. I absolutely agree that there is enough hate on this planet. The ancient Egyptians would call the GOP's hate and fearmongering of gays as going against the principles of Ma'at. Ma'at incidentally is both a goddess and the ideal balance of justice and harmony.
04:02 AM on 10/05/2012
I live somewhere that same-sex marriage is already legal and has been for some time. So far the country hasn't crumbled.
Jay Haney
My nuclear family imploded when I was 18. I've bee
11:07 AM on 10/05/2012
Then may your part of the world serve as a beacon for a better century for gays all around.
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Holly Robinson
Author of The Gerbil Farmer's Daughter: A Memoir
04:13 PM on 10/05/2012
Yes, let's hope so!
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WolfLady
SweetieFierce
01:19 AM on 10/05/2012
Your Mom sounds like a reasonable lady... good for her. But seriously, she needs to knock of the Fox habit. It ages you, and reduces the appearance of fine IQs.

~WolfLady~
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FlamingLibrul
11:47 AM on 10/05/2012
Nice one!
Polly27
rebel w/ a Cause
11:16 PM on 10/04/2012
Take heart, Holly. I came from where your Mom is now. Long time conservative Republican complicated by conservative Christianity. I'm not sure now if one began eroding before the other, or if it was on a parallel erosion. I do know, however, that my attitude toward same-sex relationships was a major part of the changes on both levels.

Like you, I am an Obama supporter. His books were big factors in my appreciation for him. Perhaps your Mother would be willing to read them.

If I can change, anyone can. Coming from a Goldwater Republican to an Obama Democrat has been a lifelong adventure in change. On the other hand, if you each remain in the political camps you are in, you will never be bored over an evening of pizza... maybe on election night.
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Hugh Ostrow
TO SAVE ONE LIFE...IS TO SAVE THE WORLD
09:30 AM on 10/05/2012
My pizza that night will come from the Ft. Pierce FL shop whose Republican owner hugged President Obama and assured everyone he intended to vote for President Obama because it was the right thing to do.
Jay Haney
My nuclear family imploded when I was 18. I've bee
11:09 AM on 10/05/2012
He was a Republican?! OMG! Learn something new every day...

Ah well...Vittorio Agli Obama! (translated from the Italian: Victory To Obama!)
Polly27
rebel w/ a Cause
01:18 PM on 10/05/2012
Thank you for the day brightener. I needed that.
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Holly Robinson
Author of The Gerbil Farmer's Daughter: A Memoir
04:15 PM on 10/05/2012
Thanks for writing, Polly! My own father was like you--a Navy officer who realized, during a time when he was teaching in a military academy and sending boys off to war, that he was a pacifist! He couldn't express those views until he retired from the Navy. He was also the first small business owner in our area to offer his employees full health coverage, because he worried they'd get sick and wouldn't be able to care for their families. He always voted Republican, but he had a liberal heart.
Polly27
rebel w/ a Cause
07:24 PM on 10/05/2012
Sounds like your Dad was the kind of thoughtful Republican I wish the GOP still prized. Must have been a challenge for him staying in the Navy as he had to do, while remaining silent on his views as they changed. I understand. My husband is a minister.
04:44 PM on 10/04/2012
Thank you Holly (and mom too!). This article stands out for it's level headed reasoning. Thanks for avoiding hyperbole and rage.
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Holly Robinson
Author of The Gerbil Farmer's Daughter: A Memoir
04:15 PM on 10/05/2012
Yes, there's quite enough of that going around already--good thing it's not catching.