iOS app Android app More

Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors
Holly Sidell

GET UPDATES FROM Holly Sidell
 

Red Flags: Dating and Presidents

Posted: 10/25/2012 7:49 pm

I want a strong man. That's what it truly comes down to for me, and I think for most women -- strong in the sense that he knows who he is and what he stands for. Strong in the sense that we feel safe being with him. Strong in the sense that we know we can trust him.

When Romney won the Republican nomination, I was immediately scared sh*tless. From one look at him, I felt that this is not a strong man. He doesn't make me feel safe. I don't think I can trust him. I have no idea what he stands for because he is constantly "flip-flopping." A man like that, to me, looks weak. In the prior election, I wasn't so worried about John McCain winning, because we knew exactly what he stood for. It was clear with him what we were getting. I felt he was a strong man. I felt I could trust him to do what he said he was going to do. Even with George W, we knew what we were going to get... and boy did we get it. We don't know what we're going to get with Romney, and that's scary. I would never get into a relationship with a man who was constantly contradicting himself and constantly changing his views on things based on appeasing other people... and I would never vote for a President like that, either.

There are plenty of articles and media pieces out there with all the facts about this presidential race. But that's not what this is about... I am looking at it from a different angle. The following are all specific red flags that I look out for when I'm dating someone; red flags that to me, say, "RUN!" It seems that these red flags also pertain to choosing a president. Why would you want to hold a potential president to far lower standards than you would a potential romantic partner?


1. Doesn't care about others outside his "circle"
The "47%"; no gay marriage; the repealing of Obamacare (which is so strange, considering it was based on the structure he created for Massachusetts)... Need I say more?

2. Lies and Dishonesty
There are too many here to list, and everywhere you turn you can find articles or news stories regarding this topic. But to give just a nibble of falsehoods he's told: inaccurate rates of unemployment percentages; his belief in equal rights for women; the "Apology Tour" lie; and on and on.

3. He is not Loyal
I have heard that many Republicans were shocked by Romney's agreement with Obama's foreign policy during the third debate. His stance at that debate went against what he has said previously (see #4), what he hasn't said (see #7) and was disloyal to the Republican agenda.

4. Doesn't keep his word and "flip-flops"
The amount of times this has occurred during his campaign are too numerous count. There are plenty of articles on this topic as well. Just one example: A big part of his campaign previously was taking mandatory birth control coverage away. Then in last week's debate, he changed his tune. What?

5. Doesn't stand up for what he believes in
Well, he has to first know WHAT he believes in before he can stand up for it. I never know what he believes in because he is constantly changing his mind and telling us something different (apparently now he is all about "peace" and helping women in the Middle East... that's news to me).

6. Cheats
Investing in companies overseas (which, um, excuse me, takes jobs away from Americans); using offshore accounts; creating huge loopholes and write-offs to lower his taxes; refusing to release his tax returns prior to 2010....

7. Doesn't talk about our future together
We've heard all about what he's "going to do" and five point plans and stuff, but we have yet to have any specifics on just how he's going to do what he says he's going to do. Really, I would like to know how exactly his five-trillion dollar tax cut is not going to add to the defecit, for one.


I can't believe that in the 21st century, I even have to include these:

8. Doesn't think I should work
He did not support the Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Act (equal pay for women) and has no comment as to his stance on it now.

9. Thinks he has the right to make decisions about my body
We know it all by now -- "forcible" rape, "legitimate" rape, defunding Planned Parenthood, making abortions illegal, taking away free birth control as well as birth control insurance coverage (*see number 3). Republican MEN in the senate and Republican CongressMEN have come out with comments like "if it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down," and (this is a new one, thanks Senator Richard Mourdok) that getting pregnant from rape is a "gift from God." Romney has said on occasion (see "flip-flops" under #4) that he doesn't agree with those comments, and has been super-sketchy back and forth on just exactly what he would decide to do about reproductive rights for women if he became president (see #7). However, he has a vice presidential candidate who stands firmly on the anti-abortion platform and is surrounded by people in his party who believe this and whose influence he is continually catering to. Either way, I would never date a dude who hung out with friends who believed that, and I sure as hell wouldn't want him to be my President.

As a woman (who is not in a binder, thank you very much), I feel in my gut, in my heart, that for whatever issues or problems there may be with Obama and his administration, he loves America. I believe he wants what is best for us, and is unwavering in his policies and trajectories on how he thinks he can get us there (whether or not you agree with how he thinks he can get us there, one cannot argue that he is uncompromising in his declarations of it).

And then, running against him is a man who, to me, loves power more than he loves America. This is just my perspective, of course, but it seems that he is willing to change his stance based on what the people who are powerful in his party, whose money he needs, and whose votes he needs want to hear... believing more in winning than in making our country better, leaving us wondering just exactly HOW he would run our country if he were president. To me, that equals weakness.

I want a man, and a president, who knows what he believes in and stands up for it, no matter what. With men, what you see is what you get. Take a good look. Choose wisely.

 

Follow Holly Sidell on Twitter: www.twitter.com/HollySidell

FOLLOW WOMEN