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Holly Sidell Headshot

So... Now What?

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I have decided, after many months of thinking and deliberating, to close my private healing practice, at least in the way it is now. I love what I do. It helps people. But, it is not allowing me the financial support I need in order to live. I know that I am not alone on this. I know that many are in this boat. And that is why, after a little nudging and encouragement from my boyfriend to do so, I am choosing to share this. Because I hope that in sharing my process and journey, it will help others in this situation with their process and journey. Trust me, it is very scary for me to put this out there for all to see. It is scary and very raw for me to admit that I'm not able to support myself with my healing practice. I have been through all the stages of emotion with this. I have felt like a failure. I have felt angry -- angry at "the powers that be" for giving me healing gifts that help people but to not be able to support myself. Why would I be born with these gifts if I'm not able to use them to help as many people as possible and be able to support myself!? Yep, very angry about that one. And I have felt regret. Regret at not taking a different path years ago when I was younger, or when I was just out of college, or at all different turns in the road for not actually taking a job or choosing a more "lucrative" and "stable" career path.

However, I have worked through all those feelings and am in a good place. I know that nothing is in vain. I know that life is a journey, and I have learned so many things and met so many amazing people, and really grown as a person on every level. I know that I have helped people. I know that life is really all about learning and growing, and that whatever external situations we set up around ourselves are just purely for that purpose: to learn, grow, experience. So I am moving forward feeling grateful for the opportunities and learning that building and having a healing practice awarded me. I also know that just because I am closing it in the way it is now, that doesn't mean I won't be a healer or teacher. That doesn't mean I won't be using my skills and helping people. It will just look different.

And here's the key that I want to share with all of you in this situation of being between jobs or thinking about changing jobs or careers: BE OPEN. Be open to how it's going to look. Don't try to control what you're going to do or what it's going to look like. Because that just closes us off. I'm excited actually because I have NO idea what's going to happen. But I am clear on my purpose and mission. That doesn't change. There is so much hoopla out there right now about The Law of Attraction and visualization. They very much work, but are not explained correctly most of the time. Visualizing the EXACT job you want and trying to control exactly how it's going to look closes off the opportunity for something else amazing and wonderful that wants to come in, but can't. So, the work here is to be clear on your passion, your purpose, your mission. Feel how it feels living your purpose. That's the law of attraction: Being in the feeling place of living your purpose. How does it feel? Sit with that. Feel it in your body.

I don't know what's coming next for me. But I know that my purpose is to help as many people as possible learn how to live a happy, healthy life... to empower as many people as possible to make choices that lead them to happiness and health. So, I am open.... I don't know if I am going to go to work for a company, or work with a clinic, or become a full-time writer, or take a completely different turn into a new career. I am exploring many options. And I don't know. But, I know my purpose. I am clear on my purpose. I am clear on my vision. I am clear on my passion. And I can be confident in that, and let go of how I think my job or career is going to look. I am open to the opportunities.

For those of you also going through this right now, I encourage you to ask yourself what your purpose is. Really take some time with this. Write it down. What is your purpose? What is your passion? Why are you here? Become clear on it. Hold that vision. Sit with it. Feel it in every ounce of your being, and then just let go of the "How." Take the actions you need to take to get a job -- the applications, resumes, networking, phone calls, interviews, etc, but do it all while being clear on your purpose.