I woke up on the morning of my 30th birthday with the phrase "use your life" screaming at me in my head. "Use your life." The past 3 years since then have not been easy. I have started and "failed" at many things - my own business, relationships. I questioned many times if I was, in fact, using my life. And here I am, three years later, not seemingly on paper or on the surface any further along than I was 3 years ago. I can choose to beat myself up because of it. I can choose to panic because of it. Or I can choose to see that I have, in fact, been using my life. Because it's my life. No one else's. I will not use my life the same way you will, just as you will not use your life the way anyone else will. We are all given different tools to use our lives with.
Maybe in the traditional, society-based way I haven't succeeded. Maybe by certain people's standards I haven't succeeded. But maybe, just maybe, I have actually succeeded, because I have used my life the way I am meant to use my life. I may not seem on the surface to be farther along than I was three years ago, but I am. I have used my life to explore, to experience, to learn. I have used my life to grow. And I have used the talents and gifts my life gave me to help people. My healing business and jobs were not failures because many people's lives changed for the better, and with each healing experience I had with a client, I learned more and more about the art of healing. Maybe my relationships weren't failures because I chose not to settle. Because I got to spend time with really special men. Because with each one I learned more about what I want in a partner and what my deal breakers are. Through each relationship, I learned which parts of myself I needed to work on in order to have a loving, fulfilling relationship.
Maybe nothing has really been a "failure" because in each and every situation, I got to transform aspects of myself that weren't serving me. And with each of these "failures," I get clearer on what I want for my life, and how to go for it. Each "failure" puts me right back on track to what I'm going for. Without failures, we wouldn't know those things. So next time you think you failed at something, stop and be thankful. Take stock for what you learned from the failure, and think about how you are now going to go forward with the information you learned from your failure.
I have chosen a tough path. But I chose it. I own that choice. I accept that choice, because it's mine. I know the risks, I knew the risks. But my rewards are my growth, my inspiration, my ability to really make a difference in people's lives. To me, it's worth the risks to use my life. To others, it's not. And that's ok. So I ask you, are you using your life, in the way that only you are meant to use it?
Follow Holly Sidell on Twitter: www.twitter.com/HolisticHolly
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