What Is Really Keeping You From Your Success?

I had a conversation with someone over sushi last night about what success means to us, what we want to achieve, and why we haven't achieved those things yet. He talked about how success has come to be a much less financial thing to him, and mostly more about living his purpose. I talked about the fact that I think there may be a part of me that is keeping myself from the career success I'd like to achieve by taking the leap into full-time speaker, teacher, and writer, because I'm afraid it will keep me from having a family. I talked about how just as badly as I want to get my message out to the world, and help as many people as I can, I just as badly want to have a family, and that being successful in my career might interfere with that. And then he said something that really affected me: "You're not even giving yourself the choice to say no to that career success. You always have the choice to say no. But if you don't even go after it, then you never have the opportunity to say yes or no." This made me realize, essentially, that I'm keeping myself from something that I want because it may or may not interfere with something I don't even have yet. By keeping myself from even trying to achieve what I want to achieve, I don't even have the chance for those achievements. Whoa. That's quite a realization.

Many of us analyze what is keeping us from success, whatever kind of success that may be - success in relationships, success in love, success in career, etc. Thanks to all the self-help/awareness tools out there, we know that we are sabotaging somewhere. But his statement opened up a new level of awareness for me. Because for me, it's not sabotage in the traditional sense. It's not me thinking I'm not good enough or worthy enough. It's me thinking that by having all these things, I won't be able to have other things. Again, it's me with my darn assumptions making movies in my head that I don't know are true. I have been scared of success in one area of my life because I'm afraid it means that I won't be able to have success in another area of my life. That is where my fear of success has truly been coming from. And these fears are not facts. They are not truths. And as long as I believe them, I won't even take the chance to try to achieve the success I desire.

Is there a place in your life where you are not achieving what you'd like to achieve? Why is that? Peel the layer back a little farther than just not feeling worthy or deserving; peel the layer back farther than just acknowledging a fear of failure or success. Of course that's an aspect of it. But let's see what's underneath there. Are you, like I was, making assumptions about something that is not actually in reality, or that you don't even know to be true? Are your assumptions keeping you from your success?

 

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Comments

[Danielle Gruen]

02:14 PM on 05/11/2010

This is so true Holly. We all have our assumptions about what is, what isn't, what will and will not be. To not do one thing because we believe it means we can not do something else is what we call a hindering thought. It is a narrative story we tell ourself, and like any thought it is only a thought and can always be changed, questioned, corrected, or even ignored. Enjoyed your post, and the start to this dialogue.

[Holly Sidell]

07:41 PM on 05/11/2010

Thanks, Danielle. Yes, I was shocked when I realized that that was what was holding me back, and I couldn't wait to share that realization with others...