05/31/2011 07:59 pm ET | Updated Jul 31, 2011

Breast Cancer Couch Glue and Silver Linings

Now that I am 8 days out from my first round of chemotherapy, I was really hoping that I would be feeling better. It's been a bear of a week.

One minute, I'll start to feel better and then WHAM. Down the toilet (pun intended) with:
  • Seemingly constant waves of nausea.
  • Persistent headaches.
  • Zero appetite.
  • Incessant fatigue.
  • Brain fog.
  • Zippo motivation.
  • Bathroom trips (that you're all too familiar with).
  • Mouth sores (more on that next time).
  • New drugs (Sansu
co Patch, Neurontin). Old drugs (Ativan, Zofran).

All that said, I found myself stuck in a patch of couch glue from which I could not move. It's a frustrating conundrum when my mind says "C'mon. Let's get going!" and my body says, "Absolutely no F-bomb way." The Husband keeps telling me that I have to "listen to my body". My mind says, "WTF? I'm in charge." Oh, it's a nasty push-pull going on between my cuckoo mind and my dysfunctional body right now!

To deal with my couch glue situation, I decided to watch one of my favorite movies: "The September Issue." This film is a documentary by R.J. Cutler about the making of the 5 lb, 2007 September Issue of Vogue. This issue was the largest in its history.

I have always been a big fan of Anna Wintour. She has deftly managed, since 1988, to be a visionary in and for the world of fashion. She is the consummate professional who is focused on doing her job. And this she does brilliantly. I also love her style. She is the epitome of chic and elegant.

So, watching "The September Issue" was definitely an SL (Silver Lining) to my day, easily distracting me from my nausea and headache. Andre Leon Talley (Editor-at-Large) is a gas -- or maybe that's me who is gassy? Or our dog Buzz? Humorous is perhaps a better word to describe ALT.

Grace Coddington is brilliant. So adorable as "the only editor who still dresses the models." I sure would love to go to a photo shoot with her to witness her magic.

See how happily distracted I became? It's the little things, the Silver Linings (SLs) for which I am so grateful these days!

Yesterday, someone asked me, "What does Silver Lining (SL) mean?"

When I asked our daughter (who is 4 ¾) what the phrase means, she replied, "It's when something good comes out of something bad." She sees SLs with as much frequency as I do.

For me, a Silver Lining is the (sometimes unexpected!) beauty, joy, fortune, love, and happiness that I find in everyday situations since the FBC diagnosis. The extraordinary benefit of finding SLs during FBC is that I'll take them with me long after FBC is Gone. Gone. Gone.

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.
-- Denis Waitley

To read more about Hollye's holistic and humorous journey over, around, above and below breast cancer, please visit her blog, Brookside Buzz ( You may email her at

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