Before you sign that divorce decree, make sure your attorney has ensured your child will receive the college education you, and they, have in mind. This is not the time for some vague, generic language, because the year leading up to your child beginning their college education is the wrong time to find out your decree was worded improperly, or leaves the door open to less-than-ideal circumstances. You'll want to do this during your divorce process, or as soon as possible, and in the specific language that allows your kids, and both parents, to come out with the best possible financial circumstance.
Here's a checklist for making sure you've done the right things regarding college in your divorce process:
1. The parent with the least amount of income should have primary custody (and the corresponding tax deduction for that child) the year prior to applying to college. This will allow your college-bound student to be eligible for more financial aid.
2. Full cooperation in filing the financial aid forms should be required in your decree. That means both parents have to share their financial information with the student so the FAFSA and CSS Profile can be filed in time to meet all deadlines.
3. The divorce decree should identify who will pay for what -- related to college preparation and college. That means prior to college, paying for standardized test prep courses, paying for admissions applications, paying for college visits, etc. It also means agreeing on how college expenses are handled -- split 50/50, dad pays for room & board, mom pays for tuition, you both pay for books and fees, etc. All of that should be spelled out in plain English so there's no dispute when the time comes -- and it will!
4. There should be an appropriate cap to these expenses. The cost of attendance (all college costs combined) has risen about 8 percent per year for the last fifty years, so it would be wise to limit the potential cost of college for both parties in a divorce. For example, Dad agrees to pay 50 percent of all tuition, fees, room & board, etc. up to a threshold of $15,000 per school year for an undergraduate degree. Note that more than half of kids today take longer than 4 years to earn a degree, so you may also want to limit the length of time you will be willing to be "on the hook".
5. The decree should require life insurance and disability insurance for the total of all college-related obligations. The decree won't be worth the paper it's printed on if one of the parents can't work or dies prematurely.
If you fail to have the correct language added to your divorce decree, you could end up paying thousands more than you had planned, and/or end up back in court.
Written with Beth Walker, founder of College Funding Coaches.
Should one parent be forced to take out loans because of an agreement...loans they may be paying off past retirement age. What about the parent who didn't even go to college themselves? Should they have to rent a room in a stranger's house, cut out any bit of pleasure from their life so their kid can have a "good college experience?" Community colleges offer some great programs at affordable prices but if it is my ex's problem, why would I encourage my kid to take that approach?
Maybe my feeling stem form the fact that my ex left just before our oldest for college. After grants, he needed $90,000 in loans. I made it clear I was not responsible for any of it. I had to move in with family, give up choosing may own meals, what temperature the thermostat would be set at, and clear going out with mom and dad as 35 yr. old woman. I was not about to agree to sign a loan agreement that would mean I would be living this way until I am 60.
Does that make me selfish? If my ex can live with his girlfriend and our son can gets own place, I should be able to dream of a studio apartment.
REALLY? And what if the parent with the least amount of income is ALSO the parent with the least amount of ABILITY to CARE for the child? This statement makes it seem like this should be grounds for parental custody. "My kid needs to go to college, so the ex makes less than me, and even though they have bad parenting skills and the courts decided that I should have custody of the kids, I should let THEM have the kids". Um...NO!
Some of us are in that situation and to make a statement like you have here is just wrong.
Best advice you'll ever get is to simply refuse to agree to pay for anything college related in a divorce decree. Once the child support order is terminated you're free to help to whatever extent you wish, or are able, without the potential for being jailed if you become unable to continue assistance.
In such a situation, I would agree to provide room and board to an adult child in college... provided they live in my house!
I don't think "constitutionality" applies to a mutually-agreed-upon divorce agreement. If both parties have agreed, and one breaches the agreement, the other party has every right to seek enforcement of the agreement. However, it is not like child support where it is a crime not to pay child support, the only reason for this being that the courts are concerned a child will end up needing to be supported by the state which would not apply for college.
However, if one (foolishly) was to enter this into part of their Marital Settlement or Parenting Plan, then I suppose it could be enforced.
I think the author should have made it clear that this type of demand and argument does not hold water in Court.
The bottom line is that the lawyers want every possible point of contention left open to litigation, thus the states that are OWNED by the family law attorneys have somehow retained these laws in the face of 14th Amendment challenges.
Can there be any clearer example of a legislatively defined favored class than the reality that if a couple divorces prior to age 18 in these states they are *forced* to pay college expenses, while if they divorce a day after the child turns 18, or they remain married, they don't have to pay a dime?