At some point in the future, your best friend, one of your co-workers, a gal you know from church, or your neighbor will announce: "I'm getting a divorce."
If you've ever been through a divorce or bad breakup involving kids, you're way ahead in this situation, but if not, and you're like most people, you won't have the first clue what to say ("I'm sorry?" "Congratulations?").
Every divorcing mama needs help, some she doesn't even know she needs. She needs the Single Mom Care Package. Help her get some or all of these:
- A copy of The Successful Single Mom. She will need to know anything is possible, and that divorce isn't the end, it's the beginning.
- The number of a good divorce attorney. Whether she needs someone who is collaborative or a tough defender, she needs an advocate that is on her side and takes great care of her.
- The number of an excellent therapist. She will need a non-emotional person who will help her process this most stressful and overwhelming of situations.
- Chocolate in all temperatures (hot chocolate, chocolates, and chocolate ice cream). Chocolate releases the same chemicals sex releases, and she's probably not going to have a lot of sex for a while. And, chocolate is a great help for any situation, divorce included.
- A regularly scheduled girls night out, brunch, lunch and/or shopping trip. She needs to have some fun, which will help to take her mind off of the situation, no matter how short of a period of time the distraction may be.
- A gym membership. Emotion is created by motion, and regular exercise will make her look and feel good. Go with her; make her go if you have to! She needs to move, breathe, and feel good! The extra bonus is she will look better, which will make her feel better, which will make her want to look better...
- A non-judgmental, understanding friend who listens to the same stories of anger and sadness and frustration over and over again. You don't even need to weigh in, just listen because it's very helpful to have someone who loves you validate you, listen to you, and be there every step of the way.
- Childcare. Single moms end up doing it all, and having even a short two-hour break from the kids to cross items off of the to do list, or even take a hot bath and drink a glass of wine can be a lifesaver. Do it, buy it, find it -- whatever it takes, this goes in the care package, too!
The Single Mom Care Package is meant to make a newly single mom's life easier, better and even provide some fun during what is otherwise a pretty treacherous process. Whatever you can do or help her do, please do. And, on her behalf from someone who's been there, thank you!
Honorée Corder is the author of The Successful Single Mom book series, the only series for single moms written in a positive, can-do voice, from the coaching perspective, by an executive coach who was also a single mom. These books provide road maps for creating the life, career, body and relationships single moms want.