Making Friends Isn't Easy

Moving to another state where you know no one is often difficult. It's even harder when you have no friends that you can confide in. Your real friends are 800 + miles away back at home and you must make new ones, which isn't easy.

My boyfriend doesn't care too much if he makes friends or not and for a little bit neither did I. I mean, time and time again people have let me down and haven't come through for me, so why do I need friends to feel happy? I agreed with my boyfriend's mentality of not caring so much. Well, that was until I really thought about it. Who would I turn to when my boyfriend didn't want to go dancing? Who would I call when I wanted to have a "girl's night?" What would I do when my boyfriend and I got into an argument? I would have nowhere to go and not a soul to talk to if this sort of thing occurs and I felt lonely.

Now, don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my boyfriend and love hanging with him. He's my best friend, but he cannot be all I have. He asks, "So, I'm not enough for you?" That's not it at all. But at home, I had least 3-4 close friends I saw quite often, but now I don't have any besides him. I don't want to lose myself because before we moved here, I used to do more things on my own and that's my fault. I've been too reliant on him and have lost my sense of independence. I have no one to blame besides myself. And, I'm not saying that it's a horrible thing because your boyfriend should be your best friend as well as your lover and mine is, but is it a crime that I want friends?

It doesn't bother him, but I want to hang out with girls and have girl talk. Truthfully, I miss my best friend, Jess too. Her and I would always go out dancing and have an enjoyable evening and I yearn for that. Now, she lives in Portland and has a few friends, but I'm over here looking pathetic calling out for friends.