Dear Barack: Thanks for Blowing My Diet!

Dammit! I was getting back to my fighting weight up until about 96 hours ago. Then it all started getting to me...what one freelance writer from Southern California called "Election Obsessive Compulsive Disorder" in today's Los Angeles Times.

I'm obsessed with all information I can get my hands on! Watching MSNBC repeats of Hardball, Olbermann, Maddow over and over. And every time I turn on Fox News, well, let's just say that the trick or treaters got short-changed this year, because I ate everything in sight!

"Go out for a run," I'd tell myself; burn some calories. Sure, as soon as I finish listening to another dumbed-down, vaguely-racist speech by Sarah Palin. "I'll take one slice of sausage pizza and gimme that Stromboli too, my friend!"

Last night was not a good one. While everyone was sleeping, I watched Larry King Live, interviewing Joe the Plumber. Shoveling in a half dozen fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies (not a good thing for a guy with Type II diabetes), Larry ended the interview telling JTP that he's a real interesting guy and would like to have him back after the election for a full hour! Thank God Wendy's drive-thru window is open late!

Following a couple of hours of what was probably a mild diabetic coma sleep, I woke up in time to see the Obama's voting in Chicago. "How the hell is he so thin?" I asked to no one in particular! Here we are, Obama supporters, eating our way back into our fat clothes that we vowed never to wear again, while Barack actually looks skinnier than when he announced he was running for the Presidency two years ago! How can he be so calm? That's really the question Democrats and Rebuplicans have been asking along, isn't it?

Well, I'm getting ready to plant myself in front of the tube now. No doubt, it will be an evening of tense take-out ordering. Damn the MSG... I NEED the sodium tonight! As red states turn blue, I'll be turning the burgers on the grill with onions and WHITE buns... no whole grain tonight. It may be about Florida, Florida Florida tonight, but it'll be about Cake, Cake, Cake for me! High voter turnout? High Fructose Corn Syrup in MY election headquarters.

When it's all over tonight, I have a box of Baked Alaska sitting in the freezer and I will eat it all, you betcha!

Comments

[Rosalie]

I am sorry to hear you have Type II diabetes more than anything but man I feel you. It will be over soon. The stress, the eating...just smooth sailing when our man is in the White House.

[democrat4ever]

lol....I am going to make you jealous - I have lost 16 pounds within the last 21/2 months!!! God, the stress...