An Idea Whose Time Has Come: Jangle Your Keys for McCain

Once upon a time we might have imagined a 2008 Democratic National Convention that would grab the country with the force of Senator Obama's inspiring spirit. And that could still happen. But face it, it's been awhile since we saw signs of any Obama magic. My pessimistic Down With Tyranny colleague Ken is especially worried about a repeat of 2004, where the Democrats had a perfectly pleasant, correct convention, which passed almost unnoticed-- except by the Republican commentators hired by the networks to trash it-- after which the Republicans raised the roof off New York's Madison Square Garden, with the help of barn-burners like Rudy "9/11 Is My Middle Name" Giuliani and Zell "I'll Do Anything for Attention" Miller.

Ken fears that this year the pollsters may need microscopic instruments to measure the "bounce" the Democrats get from the convention. And then he encountered an idea on an online list. Convention delegates and other attendees were being encouraged to come to Denver armed with keychains loaded with 10 or 12 or however many keys you'd need to honor the Many Homes of John and the lovely Cindy McCain. It was suggested further that the keychains and keys be the biggest and noisiest keychains and keys possible. (One list member recalled the brightly colored plastic key set -- Learning Center's First Teether Keys she'd bought for her infant daughter.)

Then another list member came up with the killer idea: During the convention, have everyone jangle their keys every time the name of the Man of Who-Knows-How-Many Homes is mentioned.

It would be great television. It's reported that SEIU is bringing massive supplies of key rings and keys to Denver for distribution. Take it that one step further, and the media would love it, the public would see that we Democrats really do know how to have fun (and would also be reminded of who this "straight-talking" supposed man of the people McCain really is), and-- best of all-- the Republicans would go nuts.

"The Republicans would do it in a heartbeat," Ken says, but he fears that the Dems running the convention would find it too "rowdy" or even "disrespectful." He points out that "respect" is about the last thing the Repugs will be showing when they evoke the name of Senator Obama. Neither of us can tell you exactly how many keys to put on the key ring; McCain still professes not to know; but my guess is... 13. There are some clues here:

Comments

[MrTessier]

It's childish and woudl probably work, but the point that it's what the republicans would do, is exactly why I'd rather not see it. I hope it doesn't happen. You don't have to be serious all the time, but this really isn't a game, and there's a lot at stake. This could backfire dramatically, the republicans will ridicule them for being gimicky, and it would be absolutely true. Please don't turn the convention into a three ring circus. We have 3 of the best orators I have ever heard, I'd rather hear them then a bunch of children waving their keys around.

[FirstShirt]

I think you make a good point. I'm not a democrat but these type of adds, both republican and democrat, are offensive. They treat the voter like one dimensional idiots and most democrats and most republicans aren't idiots, the posts here notwithstanding.

[TrevorAlan]

Exactly what I was thinking. Its kind of dumb, but a lot of political campaigning is. The right got a lot of traction out of people waving cheap footware to create the fiction of Kerry's "flip flops" (their waving shoes so the accusation MUST be right!), this can help to create a minor but potentially reverberating image in people's minds.

Its not our strongest ammo against McCain (has he mentioned he was a POW in the last 2 minutes?) but little digs making your opponent look like a fool always help.

[Sciguy]

Awesome! Beats the tar outta the flip-flops the Repubs carried around in 2004!

[RumiSouth]

That is an OUTSTANDING idea. Vengeance for the band-aids of 2004, a clear symbol of what's wrong with the opposing candidate, and something everyone can relate to...a masterstroke!

[ritikatootie]

Howie, rather than having the participants jingle their keys, ask them to "ting" their keys together. That way you can ask to hear all those "key-tings" out there!

[BBackSoon]

Nice one!!!

[Phoenixredux]

I'm a Dickens fan, and one of my favorite images/themes is Jacob Marley and his fabulous line, "I wear the chain I forged in life." I'd suggest wearing the keys on chains wrapped about the body, and shaking them pitifully while issuing a frightful wail.

[Hrothgar121]

Awesome idea! I wish I could be there to make some noise!

[Pavane]

McCain likes humor. Said so himself. So, go for it! He will LOVE it. Heh.

[darker]

McCain will need to buy a TRAMPOLINE to "get a bounce".

The TIME for REPUBLICANS HAS GONE.
It's time for REPUBLICANS TO GO!

Republicans RICHLY DESERVE TO LOSE BIG.

[mbh78213]

Hilarious -- and much more tasteful (if noisier) than the purple bandaids that Republicans wore in "honor" of John Kerry. The teething keys are a particularly nice touch.

[Sparty1]

Hilarious! I'm going to do that to my Rep hubby and his family. When they ask why, I'll just say I'm showing respect for the everyman, down-to-earth 13house having McCain.

[MsEngineer]

How about Steven Colbert coming on and defending McCain's houses. That would be hysterical.

[lincheryl]

Both he and Jon Stewart would love it and would "advertise" it with a bit on their shows. It would also make all the news headlines, which is good because the Olympics closing the the start of the Dem convention is kind of cutting off the legs of Housegate. This is the kind of thing low information voters will remember.

[Querent]

One final comment on the how many houses thing.

I have a few more questions about it. Has McCain ever not visited any of these "homes"? If not, did he not know where he was? Did he not know who owned the place he was staying? Did he not ask his wife whose house they were using? Does he not remember? Did he lose count? Did he know who his wife was, or did he think she was just a c*nt? Is there a large turnover of homes that he is unable to keep track of? Does he buy and sell these home a lot? Does he make a profit on them? Does he remember what cities he travels to? Does he know where he is right now? Is he allowed to travel unsupervised? Just how disoriented is he?

[Janco54]

Disrespectful my dying ass! It's hysterical.
Anything to ruffle the GOP feathers.
They can sure dish it out but......
Keys for everyone!!!!

[imfedup]

Freakin' hilarious idea.

[IslandGyal]

"Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock; who is there? John McCain Mansions" LMAO (joke taken from a huff post article...