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White House Hopefuls Crack Best Jokes

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CALVIN WOODWARD | December 8, 2007 06:13 AM EST | AP

WASHINGTON — Presidential candidates have a hog, a pair of drunks and a true story to rival the tale of the Jamaican bobsled team in their bag of jokes.

The Associated Press asked them to tell a favorite joke, most on the spot, in a series of interviews about their personal side. Or, if not a joke, then a story that loosens people up.


New York Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (smiling): "I'm not going to tell you."

Former North Carolina Sen. John Edwards (gesturing, Southern accent in full fly): "This guy's driving down a country road and he looks over and there's this farmer holding his hog, holding his hog up to an apple tree. And the guy pulls over _ he's a city guy _ he pulls over and walks over and he says, 'What are you doing?' And the guy's straining. He's holding the hog. His face is red and he said, 'Feeding my hog.' And he said, 'Feeding your hog?' He said, 'Now dunnit take a lot of time? Holding the hog up to an apple tree to feed him, dunnit take a lot of time?' He says, 'Time don't mean nothing to a damned old hog.'"

Illinois Sen. Barack Obama, reacting to word that he and Vice President Dick Cheney might be distant relatives: "He's the black sheep of the family."

New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson: "My wife told me I'm doing well in a recent poll in New Mexico. I asked her how, since I'm never there. I'm always out of the state campaigning for president. And she told me that's exactly why I'm doing well."


Former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani: Campaign says his favorite joke is "the most recent one that made him laugh."

Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee: "Probably the one, and it's a true story, telling about riding a bobsled at the Olympic track at Salt Lake City in February of 2001, one year before the Olympics. ... It's pretty funny because I had never seen a bobsled until I was in one. It was the most horrifying moment I think I ever had in my entire life. But I think when I tell the story, people can imagine themselves in a similar situation and I usually I get a pretty good laugh out of it."

Arizona Sen. John McCain: "Long story about a guy walking into a bar and noticing another guy at the end. They strike up a conversation and notice many similarities. Another guy walks in later and asks the bartender about the commotion. 'Oh, that's just the O'Reilly brothers getting drunk again.'"

Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney, referring to his wife: "Well, the best one, of course, is the, 'Ann, did you in your wildest dreams see me running for president?' And then I say that she says, 'You weren't in my wildest dreams.' That gets the best response."

Former Tennessee Sen. Fred Thompson: Favorite joke is "presidential debates," campaign says.



(This version CORRECTS Obama quote, including "he's" in the quote so it's clear Obama is talking about Cheney.)