BRB, I'm Throwin' Down: A Survival Guide for Teenage Slang on the Internet

08/30/2011 10:13 pm ET | Updated Oct 30, 2011

It appears teenagers have become sentient. They're infiltrating our society, they've learned how to walk upright (sort of), and they've even started to create their own cryptic language.

Since it's far too late in the game to just leave them at the bowling alley and feign ignorance, you're going to have to learn what these horrible monsters are actually saying.

Thank God for The TODAY Show.

Matt Lauer and co. have gone through Internet abbreviations and have provided subtitles so that we can all rest easy, remain unalarmed, and not have to stock up on heavy things at the Home Depot in a last-ditch effort to beat away the young.

The segment is a lifesaver, but some of the translations are, sadly, a little bit off. That's why we've decided to amend a few of the definitions in the video, and we've also add a few that everyone should know.

Jitterpops - Polio.

Example: "That man has jitterpops. He failed to get vaccinated."

Totes Magotes - I am moving to Peru.

Example: Parent: "Honey, will you get the dishes sometime before your father gets home?"

Daughter: "Totes McGoats."

Chillin' - Having sex.

Example: "I spent all weekend chillin' with my homies on the roofdeck at the Applebees in Bethesda."

Having sex - Performing a menial task with mild disdain.

Example: "Boy, he really seems to be having sex with that watermelon."

Moving the Ol' Bags of Sand - Surprisingly, this just means "moving old bags of sand." Very common amongst American teens.

Example: "There needs to be sand in another place. I am moving the ol' bags of sand."

Throwing Down - Throwing up.

Example: "I watched the pilot of Work It about an hour ago and I've been throwing down ever since."

Throwing Up - Throwing down.

Example: "Throwing up? Don't you mean throwing down?"

I'm Chirpin' Her - I'm dating a bird and there's nothing you can do to stop it.

Example: "I'm chirpin' the niece of Scrooge McDuck, and if you don't back off, Mom, I'm calling the police."

BRB - Beroepsbegeleidende leerweg. A Dutch apprenticeship program.

Example: "Hoi, Jenny, is dat een Mentos of een beroepsbegeleidendeleerweg?"

IDK - Let's change the subject to murder.

Example: Friend 1: "Have you ever seen Fantasia?"

Friend 2: "IDK. Have you ever driven a backhoe in the middle of the night?"

Word - I don't understand. Can you please repeat yourself?

Example: Cashier: "Will that be all today?"

Customer: "Word."

Cashier: "Will that be all today?"

Customer: "Word."

Cashier: "Will that be all today?"

Customer: "Word."

Cashier: (Calls the police.)

Reppin' the 203 - Please punch me in the face.

Example: Person 1: "I am from Connecticut."

Person 2: "I am also from Connecticut. Reppin' the 203."

Mackin' on the Biddies - Literary style exclamation to express anger and disgust.

Excerpt from J.K. Rowling's new young adult novel:

"One day, surrounded by flowers, Janine arose from the dewy August grass to find that her father had slain the cows and strewn them about the lawn.

'Mackin' on the biddies!' she screamed, then sought comfort in the wings of Darkwing Duck, with whom she had been chirpin'."

Ben Collins is an Assistant Editor at Hulu. You can email him here or reach him on Twitter @globesoundtrack.