THE BLOG
05/07/2013 02:24 pm ET | Updated Jul 07, 2013

How to Live on TV for the Rest of Your Life: What's the Best Recession Spin-Off Possible?

AP

So it looks like How To Live With Your Parents (For the Rest of Your Life) will be here for the rest of our lives.

You're not going to believe this, but Sarah Chalke's show about bein' poor in the 2010s is resonating. (It's almost like there are a lot of people in America who are currently in that position or something!) It was up 47 percent in the ratings last week and it beat America's crown jewel, Law & Order: SVU.

Using the transitive property, that makes How to Live With Your Parents more American than steak or punching people at Wal-Mart without repercussion.

Since it's clear this whole concept is working, we've got some pilot presentations lined up for recession related spin-offs. It's the least we could do.

No, seriously, we did the least we could do. This is America, anyway.--Ben Collins

Boardgame Empire

A crew of fun-loving former college students find themselves sharing a tiny apartment in a bad part of Brooklyn after their plans to start their own film production company fall victim to the bad economy. With no income to speak of, leaving the apartment for a night on the town becomes impossible. Their boredom gets a brief reprieve when they come across a dusty old trunk of board games, but tensions soon soar as competitiveness reaches new heights. Unsavory secrets are revealed through "Scruples", closet space is lost and won using "Risk," and friendships suffer when nobody can say they're "Sorry." When all the money they have left is the "Monopoly" kind, it isn't long before somebody reaches for a life-sized lead pipe.--Naivasha Dean

Keeping Up with the Kar Payments

The Kar sisters will literally do anything in order to stay in their home -- from working for minimum wage in a clothing store to appearing in a sex tape to put bread on the table. Nothing is out of bounds! The oldest, Kym, even marries a wrapper at the gift wrapping department of a huge department store in order to get in on his health coverage. Shameless! And it's not just the sisters! There's Mama Kar who manages her little girls -- manages to take 20% of their money, that is. And then there's her husband, who used to play sports or something, and the girls' husbands who are also there for some reason! It's no wonder that the sisters have to be utterly classless in every way to feed so many hungry (and sassy) mouths!--Martin Moakler

Two and a Half Dollars

In Two and a Half Dollars, Steve Buscemi and Rob Schneider play two brothers who live in the upstairs room to a Chinese food restaurant in Downtown LA selling handmade bracelets every day with their son (and nephew) played by that one kid whose name we can never remember. Despite the two characters' completely opposite personalities, we can laugh at the silly situations they find themselves in when they argue about which of them is better at swindling their neighbor into giving away his food stamps.

And we mustn't overlook the quirky homeless man who lives in their back alley with his memorable catchphrase "I gonna kill you!"--Janet Wood

Up All Night Looking for a Job

Wild and crazy Gen X-ers Nixon and Tyler find themselves 40 (gasp!), with a newborn (yikes!) and totally laid off from their publishing jobs (totally not surprised by this!). But what are two college-educated adults to do when they find their industry collapsing around them without having learned too much about computers or social media for the past decade? Each week they try to make a dream from their youth come true. Tyler forms a band and Nixon sets out to write the Great American novel until week three of the show and they have to move in with Tyler's parents who give him a job as his father's insurance company. Not so fast, young man! Tyler quickly learns that he's living under his parents' roof again, so he must abide by their rules, just like it's the 80s again.

You know that Tyler is going to rebel in the only way he knows how--heavy drinking and Internet porn.--Martin Moakler

Sister Mistresses

Sarah, Beth and Pretty Beth are all dating the same man, Joseph... but he's married to three sister wives, already! Not wanting to simply become additional sister wives, each week the trio conspires to compel Joseph to make good on his promises of leaving his sister wives and marrying the mistresses and taking them to a tonier section of Utah. But there's a twist: Joseph is actually triplets acting as the same person, each of whom is in love with a sister wife and a mistress. Polygamy's never been more confusing, and like our characters, you'll find yourself falling in love with all of them!--Martin Moakler

Game of Student Loans
Hagen Valerius (Wee Man), a recent college graduate, fights for the mythical land of "financial stability" on an epic quest to protect his prized credit score. Set in the U.S., where the unemployment rate is high and there's a general unwillingness to work for minimum wage, Valerius chases his lust for money while fending off greedy debt collectors by simply not answering his phone. No matter how many times he changes his address, the wild goose chase speeds on as he moves back home with his parents and begins to question his liberal arts degree...Game of Student Loans, will premiere this Fall, exclusively on a channel Valerius should probably budget out, but will keep anyway.--Razmig Arabian

Duct Tape Dynasty
In order to make ends meet after their six children moved back home with expensive Ivy League B.A.s, the Richardson clan started up a family-owned business based around patriarch Will's secret talent: duct tape. A penny-pincher with a creative bent, "Duct Commander" Will invented the revolutionary duct tape wallet in 1973, and now sons Billy, Chase, and Phillip are helping him turn his ever-expanding line of economical duct tape accessories into a Beverly Hills empire. Watch as they convince now-penniless Prada lovers to embrace duct tape stilettos and sell broke Armani enthusiasts on the merits of shiny silver suits, all the while engaging in their own behind-the-scenes drama. This family may not fit in with Europe's greatest fashion houses, but they are redefining haute couture for the nouveau pauvre set.--Kristin Knox

Cake Intern
No one starts as a Cake Boss. Especially at Carvel, where you're forced to start at the beginning. Learn about how to transcribe "Happy Birthday" in caramelized sugar at the same exact moment you take a prank phone call from the Peruvian place next door asking you lewd questions about "wet noodles." But just wait until Week 7 when they allow contestants access to the oven.--Ben Collins

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