President to Write Shocking Tell-All of Bush Administration

With reports of a 7-figure advance, and allegations even more shocking than those mentioned in Scott McClellan's recent memoir, the President has announced that he will personally pen a shocking exposé of the Bush administration, alluding to bombshell revelations that the President purposefully mislead the American public into a tragic, costly war, intentionally ducked any responsibility for the victims of Katrina, stole the 2000 election in Florida, fired federal prosecutors based on political loyalty, outed Valerie Plame and participated in the subsequent cover-up. While admitting his personal affection for the President, the President stated that the tone of the book would be scathing, generally accusing the President of being the most uneducated, unprepared, shallow, hypocritical, mendacious President in U.S. history, a discredit to the office, and an embarrassment to the nation.

The President immediately responded to news of the upcoming book, saying that any wild allegations about the President's performance in office are completely unfounded, and are obviously made on behalf of someone whose motivations are clearly to "replenish the ol' coffers," to which the President responded, "Hey, I was physically and more or less mentally present at every Oval Office meeting. No one had more access to the President than I did. I heard most every word that came out of his mouth and can personally attest to the fact that every word in this book will be true ... to the best of my recollection."

At a news conference, after reports of the President's book were leaked by the White House, press secretary Dana Perino categorically denied that the President was writing a tell-all about his tenure in the Oval Office, further suggesting that reporters refrain from any speculation about the book until after they've read it.

Comments

[zendem1]

12:26 AM on 06/01/2008

It's going to be called, "What?"
He doesn't think there's anything wrong. Seriously. He doesn't know what all the fuss is about. I want to read the part where he thought Herbert Hoover's economic policy was a good thing to try again.

[Kalemanao]

02:36 AM on 05/31/2008

Would be a verty short, easy read. But, don't spend a nickel on it. Wait for the "Can't Give It Away" free throw-away copy located in any restroom facility throughout Texas.

[JNagarya]

01:32 AM on 05/31/2008

Will we have to wait for Volume Two for the war crime of torture and the illegal wiretapping of all political opponents and their grandmothers?

Otherwise, my friends, I'll bet McSame ghost writes it for Bushit (and cash!) and no one will be the wiser.

No one will be the wiser.

[conservatoire]

07:18 PM on 05/30/2008

I am the prezident. I had a good time. The peepel I wurked with were funny and we laffed alot.

This is my book. I am a good arthur.

X

[richardgordon]

07:14 PM on 05/30/2008

LMAO! Funny but sad at the same time.

[ewj1]

03:46 PM on 05/30/2008

Funny but could be true.

[sharonh]

08:34 PM on 05/30/2008

Except for the part where you can't profile from a crime.

[sharonh]

08:39 PM on 05/30/2008

I meant to say "profit" from a crime.

[BobLablah]

01:51 PM on 05/30/2008

OK, I'm a republican and I laughed when I read your headline. One reason it's funny is because dems want to blame everything on Bush and the headline reads straight from the Onion and seems to mock dems for their failure to take any responsibility for any problems.

[Keith52]

04:02 PM on 05/30/2008

Yes I will take responsibility for not holding each and every Republicans hand while pulling their hand away from the Bush column when voting. I should have done more..... yikes.

[Tommygun264]

05:08 PM on 05/30/2008

Wonderful comment, Boblahblah. What better way to answer a satirical article than with a satirical post depicting a Republican refusing to take responsibility for the disaster wrought by a Republican administration by blaming the Democrats for not doing more to reign in the corrupt Republicans. Well played, well played indeed.

[ckemp]

01:38 PM on 05/30/2008

No, seriously--he's going to write a book about his presidency, and he's going to say that Cheney hijacked it: lied to him, made false promises, drew him into thing that were going to hurt his legacy, took control of the operational parts of the administration, was quietly threatening in private. Bush will cut a tragic figure whose life was even more terribly damaged than anyone's who served in Iraq.

Just wait. Probably after Dick goes to his 75 virgins w/ his Saudi pals, but it's coming.

[brizzle]

04:45 PM on 05/30/2008

Except for the "tragic figure" comment, this isn't exactly far from the truth, now is it?

[charlietuna11]

12:06 PM on 05/30/2008

when the cia operative was outed, the first president bush who was a directer of the agency called it treason..of course he had no idea his son gave the approval for the outing..i wish some one from the media would revisit the president to determine if he still considers the outing treason.. many people would like a follow up since the current president recently admitted he gave the o.k. they also may want to get mccains take on this important issue..the reason i bring this up is because most of us were told the outing was by a left leaning democrat. the sadder part of this story is the total silence from the right. there have been few if any criticisms from my consertative friends. it pretty much tells us how selective their indignities are.. they seem imcapable of feeling shame or imbarassment..i guess i shouldn't be surprised...