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Ian Gurvitz

Ian Gurvitz

Posted: September 15, 2009 02:45 PM

The 9/12 D.C. Cattle Drive

What's Your Reaction?

This past weekend tens of thousands of corpulent, toothless economists were herded to Washington to express their outrage over the prospect of government health care, and the rising federal deficit, collectively experiencing two phenomena for the very first time: Protest. And walking.

Brandishing the obligatory Obama-as-Hitler signs alongside the "I break for gravy" bumper stickers, the event marked the first time in history this many fat white people gathered in a single location without the promise of football, free beer, stock cars, or Toby Keith.

Wheezing along the famed D.C. streets, blood red anger coursing through their sclerotic arteries, the protesters demanded their right as hard-working Americans to be dropped by their insurance companies when they get sick, and gouged by pharmaceutical companies for the Diabetes drugs they'll soon need. They waved flags, honked horns, and shouted anti-government slogans, all as a way of venting their enlarged spleens over the prospect of the government improving the quality of their lives. Not since the 1929 Rose Bowl, when Roy "Wrong Way" Riegels ran a fumble back 65 yards, almost into his own team's end zone, has so much energy gone into an effort so blatantly self-destructive.

But as they hoofed along the D.C. streets, snapping photos of famed government buildings, while scanning the side streets for the nearest Applebees, one couldn't help but wonder: where was all this economic righteous indignation when the Clinton surplus became trillions flushed down the Iraq toilet? Where were Glenn Beck's tearful fears for his country? Limbaugh's Mr. Creosote-like explosive apoplexy? I don't recall any anti-government outrage, then. I guess the leaders on the right were too busy screwing their mistresses for Jesus.

But for all the smugness and stupidity on parade, the venal spirit of the event was captured by a single sign, reading "Bury Obamacare with Kennedy." Very nice. The man served over 45 years in the senate and he's barely dead a week and this is where you want to take the debate? Fine. Get nasty. But you assholes are going to get some form of health insurance reform whether you like it or not? And maybe, just maybe, by the time you have your first heart attack at 37, the amount of the hospital bill, or the fights with your insurance carrier over the enormous co-pay won't give you a second heart attack.

Bury Obamacare with Ted Kennedy? I don't think so. Maybe "Bury corporate greed, selfishness and stupidity with Ronald Reagan?" How's it feel, fuckos?

 
 
 
 
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05:52 PM on 09/19/2009
Mr.Gurvitz I totally agree with you but feel you should not join them at speaking ill of the dead. 2 wrongs dont make a right. Remember that we are all people, lets not demonize each other.
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blaqntelligence
02:11 PM on 09/17/2009
My dear Mr. Gurvitz,

Right On!!!

There is a genre of blogger that just sends a Chris Matthews-style thrill up MY leg. You are of that genre.
Thank you!
01:17 PM on 09/16/2009
thank you for that!
over the last 4 months my face and my palm have both become sore, red and chafed. I'm all outta anguish. I respect the intentions of our president but its time for a call to arms. I think Bill Maher said it best - those Americans who arent batshit insane finally need to step up. We need to get off our sofas and stop yelling at our TVs and take it to the streets like the ignorant conservative herd and yell someplace where it can be seen and heard if we want expect anything to change. The herd has their leaders - we need someone to call us out of our comfort zone. If only there was a skilled charismatic orator, a Leader if you will, who could instill us with enough emotion to start pushing for change on our side instead of just sighing at the collective stupidity of the rightwing lemmings blinding following their big industry lobbyists off a cliff......
/shrug
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thecornerangel
10:06 AM on 09/16/2009
Thanks Ian, you tell it like it is in a voice I love. While I also enjoy reading most bloggers on the left, their tone often lacks the outrage which should accompany the hypocrisy and stupidity we're seeing. You write the way I talk, and I appreciate it.
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SageFire
Loves Teachers, Helpers, Protectors
01:56 AM on 09/16/2009
Very tasty article. I flip flop by the minute between all of these same thoughts (SageFire's head explodes with WTF are you people thinking), then back to feeling such sorrow and compassion for them being so used by the fat cats. Fine, I think, run into the traffic, we won't save you from yourself. Then I think, if we don't, who will? Does caring for one's brother and sister, which is the whole point of this debate, also extend to those who will vilify us to the point of wanting us to be "buried"? I change my mind about that every five minutes. Thanks for saying so well what I have been sputtering over for months. Sigh.
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marioninreno
10:03 PM on 09/15/2009
OMG that is one of the funniest articles i've read! i am so glad to see journalists finally giving these idiots the press the deserve.. making them look like they are.. i love the "you a**holes are going to get some form of health insurance reform whether you like it or not! YAY!!!!!
06:46 PM on 09/15/2009
It's obvious, of course, why none of these people complained about President Bush's war, which has cost and will cost more than anything President Obama is proposing. Why none of them complained about the Bush economy's deficits and doubling of the national debt. Why none of them realize that the kind of "small government" or "limited government" they claim to seek has never actually been tried in America, not by the "founding fathers," not by Reagan, never. Even the complaints we hear now that George W. Bush was "not a real conservative" or that he failed because he "abandoned conservative principles" are revealing in more ways than one. Not only does it provide a loophole to avoid the fact that "conservative" economic policies have historically failed time and time again, and ensure fealty to the philosophy by implying that it cannot fail, it can only be failed by ideologically impure politicians. It makes one wonder why they keep voting for "conservatives" if they don't -get- actual conservatism?

I'd be willing to bet that most of these people were all in favor of the Iraq war. Odd, since there is nothing more "big government," nothing more costly, nothing more socialistic, no greater threat to the liberty of the citizenry, than war.
06:19 PM on 09/15/2009
This is the greatest piece of the year! You totally captured the brainless cattle perfectly! Rev. Bookburn - Radio Volta
06:11 PM on 09/15/2009
You've caught the essence of the moment, sir. You're to be applauded for wonderful insight. I watched the Maddow clips for the billionaires for wealthcare singing to the crowd. Absolutely breathtaking. Mouths were open, gears slowly grinding, as the "I brake for gravy" crowd tried to grasp what they were looking at and listening to. I suspect we didn't hear the masses mumbling, "hey, wait a minute. That's not us. Is it?"
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04:59 PM on 09/15/2009
THANK YOU IAN, It's amazing how much STUCK ON STUPID is going around these days. It's like they are hypnotized by hate and that they would be so self destructive, so eager to be TOOLS! THEY are a bigger threat to US than Osama ever could be. Nice work!