06/06/2008 01:39 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

To the Hillary Supporters Who Claim They'll Vote for McCain: Get Over Yourselves

OK, so the great female hope flew high for a while, but then fell back to Earth. She got smacked down by the electoral process, not the glass ceiling. Still, are you so spurned that the voters broke up with her that you're ready to put on your sluttiest dress, head to some Republican dive bar, and revenge-fuck the oldest, meanest, pastiest, craggy-toothed stranger you can find? Are you really ready to sleep with John McCain just to make the world pay for dumping your best girlfriend?

If you expect people to believe your support for Hillary was based on a passionate belief that she could heal the wounds inflicted on the world by eight years of Bushco, you must know that any substantial differences between Hillary and Obama pale in comparison to those between Obama and McCain.

I am an Obama supporter. If he isn't the most intelligent, inspiring, compassionate politician to hit the public highway in years, he's doing the greatest impression of one I've ever seen. But, if he had lost, I would've supported Hillary in a heartbeat. Milestones aside, this election isn't about gender or race. It's about triage. The country is bleeding. Do you really want to refuse help because you don't like the sex of the paramedic?

I know it hurts to have your dreams crushed, but consider this:

Somewhere in the country is a 17-year-old girl who will graduate high school and enter the military as her only solid option. If she gets sent to Iraq and killed, what would you say to her mother?

Or maybe she has a younger sister who just started dating and will get pregnant in 3 years. Will she still have the right to an abortion?

Or maybe her mother is a single mom who saved for years to buy a home, but is about to lose it to foreclosure.

Or maybe her aunt will get diagnosed with breast cancer and lose her health insurance.

Why not put the slutty dress back in the closet and nurse your pain some other way? Don't take it out on the world. How would you feel waking up in bed with John McCain, sad and hungover, and walking back home to a country in ruin. That would truly be the walk of shame.