Top Ten Letterman Joke Apologies

10) Sorry. I thought the kid at the game was the one who already got pregnant. Not the one's who's going to get pregnant in 3 years.

9) It was wrong to joke that A-Rod could've knocked up your kid. The way the Yankees had been playing I didn't think they could hit anything.

8) It was Conan's line. He bet me $10 I wouldn't do it.

7) The slutty flight attendant reference was not only insulting. It was wrong. There are no slutty flight attendants anymore. The last one got elected to congress from Minnesota.

6) I was thrown by the sight of Giuliani out in the daytime and momentarily lost all reason.

5) I didn't write that joke. I got it from Bill O'Reilly's loofah file.

4) I was thrown by the fact that you were in New York. You know we have Jews here, right?

3) Sorry. Now Greta Van Susteren hates me, too. Now I'll never be invited to the Scientology picnic.

2) Fuck you and the dogsled you rode in on.

1) Hey, at least I didn't tell a joke about the retard. What's his name? Oh, yeah, Todd.

Comments

[janie@atthelake]

:-D very funny!

[Chris Barr]

This is an outrage! You need to apologize immediately to.....oh, never mind.

[Tear59]

Love it keep em coming!!

[dutchgirl55]

Brilliant. Thanks for the laugh.

[JazzyJim]

Amen for the NeoCons.

[reader110]

To whom should I make out the check?

[MikeHermit]

I love #1. And Michelle Bachman is still a flight attendant. There has to be some explanation as to why she is such an airhead.

[Madrad]

Sarah Palin in awesome!

http://davecory2.blogspot.com/search/label/sarah%20palin

[Chitownfool]

I know I have problem too! Please I need help!

[mlaiuppa]

LOL.

And so spot on.

She keeps this up and yes, Letterman will make her a running gag. What he did to John McCain will be nothing on what he'll do to Palin. After all, Bush is no longer in the White House, but Palin is the gift that keeps on giving.

[Loriinlosangeles]

Little Sasha and Malia were likely traumatized when Palin proclaimed (at her rallies) that "Obama pals around with terrorists." Her rabid followers shouted out "Kill him!" while Palin smiled smugly. And this was not even late night tv, it was during the day. Will Sarah apologize to the little girls?

[tundy]

Not being a fan of Palin, however, Letterman, as he did with me back in 1996, proved himself worthy of having worse than egg slapped on his face. I still have a copy of the police report form, which I paid $22.90 for, at the local police station. The police report form states he, CBS and others are bothered by me. They actually called the police on me all the way from NYC to a little town in Northern Ontario, Canada. It seems assertive women bother him, hence he swings a low blow. These kinds of men will mess up from time to time. Otherwise his writers are very witty and funny. Fire him? SURE. The locals here would look at me in a different light. PS Have never watched his show since then.

[keepemhonest]

I heard you stalked him & showed up at his house lurking out in the dark around his home.

[keepemhonest]

I heard you stalked him for months & showed up at his house several nights in a row lurking around his home.

[NoVA forObama]

I'm sure its affecting his ratings...NOT!

[BDHUH]

You've made a beautiful rescue!

[MsMsBurning]

Thanks for the laugh! I needed that!

[fairywhatnot]

Has Sarah apologized to the women of Alaska for nominating W.A.R. to be their A.G.?

He is the one who famously said: "If a man can't rape his own wife, who can he rape?" and "There would be no domestic violence if women would just learn to shut up?"

Thought so.

[callmemara]

good catch! yep...true quotes.

[mlaiuppa]

She also hasn't apologized for making women pay for their own rape kits.

Or for laughing along at jokes calling an opponent "fat", "a b¡tch" or "a cancer" when the woman was a cancer survivor. Isn't laughing along basically supporting the joke. I don't think laughing would be considered outrageous indignation. Don't remember her saying those jokes were degrading to women or out of line and demanding the hosts apologize.

Perhaps she can't decide to apologize....or have dinner?

[Sunshine1970]

Those were great. Thanks for the laugh :)

[Dave Hackel - Huffpost Blogger]

I'd pay good money for Letterman to do those on his show. Yeah, like that's gonna happen. But he should. Why he's bending to this idiotic pressure from the Palin contingent is beyond me.

[dgh94104]

I seriously hope that he NEVER mentions her name again. That would be the ultimate smackdown of that grifter. What a tabloid-worthy trainwreck she is.

[Bush-Rolled]

I'll second that suggestion.

[Mr Grey]

Indeed

[NotStarvingArtist]

I don't think he's bending to anyone's pressure. I think he's milking this for all its worth. His ratings have gone up every night since it started and they've been especially high on the nights he's "apologized"! Dave is a very smart man and it will be a cold day indeed when the likes of Sarah Palin gets the better of him.