This week, on The Bachelorette: Men Tell All, we get to catch up with the men from Emily's season -- some of whom we all know and love, some of whom we can't stand, and some of whom we don't remember at all.
Before we get reacquainted with the men, we first sit down in a pre-taped chat session between Emily and Chris Harrison to relive some of the best moments we did -- and didn't -- see on camera.
First, we remember Ryan's best foot-in-mouth comments, including "I'd love you but I wouldn't love on you," and his blatant yearning for a trophy wife (which he is still looking for, months later... ). We revisit Kalon's wave-making entrance in his overpriced helicopter, his labeling of Ricki as "baggage," and his way of cutting Emily off when she tried to speak. (Personally, I think this is the best line of the season: "I love to hear you talk, but not until I'm done.") And how could we gloss over Doug's awkward first kiss in the middle of Emily's break-up speech?
As for moments we didn't get to see: Emily spills wine on her favorite dress and curses in front of her date, Joe (the Dawson's Creek lookalike, for anyone [else] who doesn't remember); Travis and Emily sing (?) "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" to Shelley, the egg; Arie's twin younger brothers spy on their goodbye kiss, and Emily attempts to teach Chris some dance moves.
Before we get back to the Men Tell All, we're graciously presented with a lengthy and entertaining plug for Bachelor Pad 3 -- a place where the previously rejected guys and girls have another shot at love AND could win some money (did anyone notice how needy the contestants were for this money? Shouldn't they just try to find jobs instead of relying on their "charm" to win BP3?).
On to the good stuff! Chris Harrison introduces the men, half of whom I do not remember at all. Couldn't even tell you their names.
-- Ryan admits he's made a bunch of friends here; the guys hug and high-five when his bags are wheeled away. Conclusion: No true friends.
-- The men pick on Chris' age, and, as we all roll our eyes, Doug chimes in asking how many times we have to have this conversation. The answer: apparently every opportunity we get.
-- Kalon also says he is still friends with some of the guys, Tony the dad and Chris included, but Tony darts his eyes awkwardly. Conclusion: No true friends (either).
Kalon, one of the most controversial men of the season -- quite possibly of the show -- is in the hot seat first, and Chris Harrison calls him out for his choice of words throughout the season.
When asked about the "Ricki is baggage" comment, Kalon's answer displeases the crowd, giving Sean the opportunity to win over the audience by saying he doesn't need a child to know that if you love a woman, you embrace every part of her, child included (or something along those lines. My ears failed me as my heart melted).
Ryan stepped in, and, as his montage plays, all the guys visibly crack up hearing the nonsense that spews from his mouth.
He is "blessed with so many worldly gifts," he says, including the ability to grow a mean beard and a charming way with words. He admits he's arrogant, which comes as no surprise to the audience.
Chris is up next, still hurt and emotional over being sent home. Though he came off looking angry, Chris defended himself by saying when he really cares about something, he fights for it -- in this case, Emily. His age and immaturity still shine through in his actions and attitude, and, in his next breath, he announces, guilty smile and all, that he will be moving into the Bachelor Pad 3 house.
Last but not least, we get to hear from Sean, who was confident he found his wife and was ready to move onto the next chapter in his life. He never thought he would be going home, and he says he still has strong feelings for Emily.
Emily joins Chris Harrison on stage, looking as stunning as ever, and both Chris and Sean thank her for allowing them to open their eyes to love. Emily thanks Doug for ratting out Kalon, who "apologizes" to Emily and says he will use this as a growing experience. Emily, who knows better, tells him bluntly that he should be a politician, because that was the biggest load of garbage she's ever heard. Apparently, he took a photo of a baggage claim and posted it to Twitter, captioning the picture with something like "Emily Maynard should have been there," and he's "sorry he's not sorry."
Emily gave him a piece of her mind, to which Kalon replied that he is flattered she follows him on Twitter. How nice.
We get to see a few minutes of bloopers (not nearly enough, as these are by far the best part of the show!), and then a look back at Emily's relationship with both Arie and Jef.
I am still completely torn on which guy she is going to pick! Both relationships seem so easy, unlike so many of the forced ones we see. Who do you think she'll choose? Are you excited for BP3? Drop me a line below, and see you next week!