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Ilene Kleinbaum

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Selection Monday: The Final Rose

Posted: 03/13/2012 9:27 am

They always say it's the "most dramatic season ever," and each season, we all believe it. The only dramatic thing about this season was Courtney. Ironic, since she made it very clear she was drama-free. Ha.

The finale started off with a monster of a cliché (monumental mountain [Matterhorn]; monumental moment [choosing a fiancé]). I rolled my eyes repeatedly then listened to Ben's conversation with his mother, Barbara, and his sister, Julia.

Ben filled his family members in on what they should expect when meeting the ladies, using the same lines he's been recycling all season. He calls Lindzi vulnerable, and I swear to myself if I hear that word one more time, I'll stop watching. Clearly that didn't go over so well, as "vulnerable" was used 12 more times, and here I am, glued to the television.

"Courtney is a model," says Ben, surprising both Mom and Sis. They're skeptical, and, to add fuel to the fire, Sis also finds out that Courtney caused some drama with the other girls. Red flag! Finally, someone with some common sense.

Lindzi is up first -- the poor girl is so nervous, she drops her silverware twice. I happen to think that was just so normal, considering everything else about their relationship is so not normal. Lindzi and the Flajnik women conversed, and Sis asked her about Courtney! Lindzi smartly skirted around the negative undertones and answered that Courtney is "different."

Lindzi made a good first impression on Mama and Sis, and they agree she would fit in with their family because she's the total package.

Courtney's meet-the-family date started off rocky (both Mama and Sis prejudged her based on her profession and her interactions with the other ladies), since the first few words out of her mouth included "some of the girls didn't like me."

Sis Julia confronts Court about her mean-girl ways, and Courtney wins her over (she really is winning, huh?). She admitted she was nasty at times, that some of the girls judged her, and she felt like she was constantly defending herself. Julia buys it and tells Ben she was wrong for judging a book by its cover. Ben seems surprised his family liked Courtney. This can't be good.

Time for Final Dates!

BenTeam Bachelor finally planned a date Lindzi would not be scared of -- a horse and carriage ride and then some (tandem?) skiing. They even have a picnic in a gondola suspended over the mountains. They clean up and meet back in Lindzi's room to talk (of vulnerability. I swear, the word has lost all meaning to me), and Lindzi says she loves Ben.

"That's great!" was Ben's reply, and I really felt for her. She opened up, finally, and that was what Ben was looking for. She was so... what's the word? Vulnerable!

Courtney and Ben find themselves on a helicopter ride, which Ben thinks is one of the top ten coolest things he's ever done (the other nine being helicopter rides from previous episodes), over the snow-covered mountains. They cook kebobs in a milk crate, picnic in the snow and make snow angels, and then sled down the mountain on a toboggan.

Fast forward to the evening portion of the date, in which Courtney presents Ben with a scrapbook of pictures (where she got the materials to make this scrapbook -- or the pictures, for that matter -- I have no idea). Courtney really can do no wrong in Ben's eyes -- first she throws a realistic wedding, complete with vow exchanges and all, and then she makes him a scrapbook - the very same ploy that got Blakely sent home. Oh, Ben.

Courtney tears up on camera, saying it was so hard for her to say, "I love you" to Ben (but she had no problem saying it three weeks earlier at the faux wedding?), which brings the conversation back to the issues she had with the other women. Ben does NOT want to talk about this again, and she's left feeling a bit uneasy.

Decision, Decisions

On Ben's left shoulder, we have Courtney: exciting, but risky.
On his right, Lindzi: amazing qualities, warm and funny.

What's a Bachelor to do?

Perhaps Neil Lane's assistance can direct Ben a little bit. Team Bachelor flies the famous jeweler out to Switzerland to poke fun at Ben ("this isn't your first rodeo," ha!) and help him pick out a ring.

The girls play dress-up in their respective rooms; Courtney dons a sleek black dress, black (leather?) gloves, and a fancy floor-length beige cape, and Lindzi wears a ruffled black and blue gown with a green velvet cape that looks like it was borrowed from the costume closet of Harry Potter.

Down on One Knee

It's proposal time, and we all know the first girl flown in is the first one leaving. Out steps Lindzi. Ben tells her he's fallen in love with her but needs those great moments to last a lifetime. Oh, and he's fallen in love with someone else. Those "buts" are the worst!

Lindzi doesn't say a word (silent treatment or breakdown prevention?) as Ben lets her down and walks her to the helicopter. She's still holding it together as she's flown back to Hogwarts, and my friends and I keep screaming, "don't ugly cry! No [The] Soup for you!" The girl does not shed a tear, and I am highly impressed.

On her way out, though, she pulled a fast one on me. She said, "If it doesn't work out, maybe, call me?" At first, I thought that was slightly pathetic... then I thought maybe Team Bachelor had something up their sleeve. What if they made her say that in case Courtney doesn't work out -- essentially, pulling a Jason Mesnick!?

Courtney approaches, and Ben starts his speech. What a journey it's been, you're wonderful, blah, blah, blah... BUT he has to be certain before he gets on one knee again. He's certain. He gets on one knee and proposes, and Courtney awkwardly giggles, diverts her eyes, and openly gawks at the ring. She accepts (the ring, obviously. Oh, and the proposal), and they might as well have exchanged high fives. Remember when Jason Mesnick and Melissa Rycroft jumped in the pool, dress, suit and all? That was excitement. This? Not so much.

So, that's that. Courtney won. Literally and figuratively. All her evil, conniving antics paved the way for her to... end up crying on the couch on After the Final Rose!?

We were warned by Chris Harrison to withhold our judgment and allow Ben and Courtney to speak openly; however, I'm pretty sure we have all made our judgments weeks ago.

Courtney tells us Ben didn't support her emotionally and they are broken up. Please wait while I search for my surprised face.... Nope, can't find it. Moving on.

Ben comes out and tells us the woman he saw on television wasn't the woman he knew. Though the other ladies warned him repeatedly, when he actually saw Courtney skipping away from the rose ceremonies and taunting the other girls, he finally understood. But, he still loves her.

Chris points out that the tabloids have not made it easy on them, but they both say they need a normal relationship with face-to-face contact (what, six weeks of being filmed and flown to exotic locations wasn't normal enough?) to work on their problems.

So, are they engaged or broken up? Chris presents the ring, and Courtney accepts. Not even ten minutes ago, she was sitting on the couch bawling her eyes out, unsure of her relationship status, and now everything is peaches and cream, and engagement and wedding plans are in their future. Together.

I'm not surprised Ben chose Courtney, but I do wish he picked Lindzi. What do you think? Do you think they'll last? Or was it all for publicity?

Another season of Bachelor comes to an end... which means a new season of Bachelor Pad is on the way!