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'The Bachelorette' Recap: Let the (Highland) Games Begin

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We've arrived in Croatia this week, sans Ricki, so Emily can really focus on the guys. She presents the first one-on-one date card to Travis, who knows he needs this date to "stay alive." The two of them walk around while Emily plays tour guide again. They stop in front of a stone protruding from a wall, and Emily explains that if you can balance on it while removing an article of clothing, you'll fall in love. Or something like that. Travis fails, and Emily admits she really wanted to see what was under his shirt. Now I know why Ricki was not here this week.

Meanwhile, the second date card arrives, and it looks like Ryan's next in line for a one-on-one, meaning all the other guys get to go on the group date.

Emily and Travis have some {pretty dull} conversation over dinner, in which Travis reveals he hasn't dated anyone in two years, since he was last engaged. Emily feels the friendship foundation, but isn't feeling anything more, so Travis is let go. I guess smashing Shelley the egg was a bad omen...

Onto the group date! Emily says after all the extravagant dates, she wants to go to the movies. Has she seen past episodes of The Bachelorette? Compared to the helicopter rides and wall scaling, her recent dates of cookie baking and Ferris wheel riding are anything but extravagant! But they are normal, and, I have to say, these normal dates are letting Emily really learn about the guys. Perhaps this will make for a happy ending in Bachelorette history.

Anyway... to the movies they go. I have no idea what movie they watched, because they never said the name -- not even once! (kidding!). What seems to be a Disney-Pixar's Brave/Bachelorette crossover event turns into the Highland Games, where the guys dress up in tight tank tops, kilts and knee-high socks (too bad Jef didn't bring his periwinkle ones) and compete in some Croatian strength games.

All the guys seem to outperform poor Chris, who actually ends up earning Emily's "Bravery Award" for not giving up or saying no to a challenge, despite losing.

Everyone changes out of their Highland Games attire and into cocktail party clothes. Sean steals Emily for a few minutes, and she tells him he should continue being confident in their relationship.

Arie starts to get nervous that he hasn't talked to Emily since their time in London, so he takes her for a walk, apologizes for not standing up for her last week, and then throws her against the wall to give her the hottest kiss in Bachelor/ette history. I can't decide if I want Emily to marry him on the spot or send him home so I can have a chance with him.

Jef finally acknowledges that Emily might be a bit chilly in her teeny tiny (but gorgeous) dresses and demands that she put on his jacket AND her wrap, in addition to snuggling under the covers (there sure are a lot of blankets in this season). She brings up the fact that it took him a while to kiss her and asks if it was part of his plan. He jokingly says yes before kissing her and murmuring, "I'm freakin' crazy about you." Aww.

You can see the chemistry between Emily and some of these guys tonight, which is why I don't really understand when she gives the group date rose to Chris, who is essentially pleading with her that he's a great guy. But a rose he gets, so he is safe for another week.

Onto the best part of the episode: Ryan's one-on-one date. Emily joins him and the guys on the couch, where Ryan spews utter nonsense about trophy wives (again), inducing eye rolls, gags, and twitches from women across the nation.

Ryan drives barely maneuvers the car to an oyster-catching boat and the two sample some fresh oysters. I don't know if she was trying to disguise her disgust of Ryan's word vomit or she really didn't like the taste of the oysters, but Emily can't stomach the oyster and runs to the side of the boat to spit it back up. So much for the aphrodisiac effect.

It seems like the Bachelorette wardrobe crew is in a playful mood tonight, dressing Emily up in a gold gown. This prompts Ryan to comment (for the 4th time or so) that she actually looks like a trophy. She has so many guys she doesn't "go back and forth with, hourly," there's no reason for her to keep wasting brain cells on someone she's unsure of.

Ryan whips out a list of twelve things he wants in a woman, and, for a moment, I forget that it's Emily who is doing the choosing. Ryan's list does not include anything about a family, which is Emily's number one, and that's her dealbreaker. She doesn't think they want the same things out of a relationship, so she cannot present him with a rose. HA! Serves him right.

But wait! Instead of storming out angrily like I would have thought, Ryan takes a good twenty minutes to plead his case, complete with some strategically placed sniffles and voice cracks. He is shocked and keeps listing reasons Emily should give him another chance, to see where things go.

After entirely too much begging and pleading, Ryan gets up, takes one last swig of his wine, and walks out, where he continues to present his case to Emily. Please, Ryan, no more. Just leave.

When a member of team Bachelorette comes to take Ryan's luggage, the guys literally rejoice, and Jef says he is "proud of that woman."

During his exit ride out, Ryan compares himself to some of the greatest men in the world, and, for a moment, I think he might be worse than Wes (from Jillian Harris' season).

Emily retreats back to her room, when Arie appears at the door -- she is thrilled to see him. He, too, admits she is a great judge of character for sending Ryan home, and the two hang out in her bed for a while (PG-13, since they did sneak in a few steamy kisses). When Arie leaves her, he says he could see himself marrying her tomorrow.

Cocktail party time! Emily is having troubling choosing who to send home (at this point, she's on the fence about Jon and Doug), so both have some quality one-on-one time. Jon opens up a bit, revealing to Emily something no one else knows (he carries his grandparents' funeral cards with him), and Doug admits he is too humble sometimes.

It's too hard to send anyone home, so in a dramatic (!) plot twist, Emily asks Chris Harrison for an extra rose and doesn't send anyone home (she did, after all, send home two guys earlier in the episode). Ryan's words seem to resonate with Emily, and she decides she doesn't want to miss out on something that could develop.

So all six men are heading to Prague with Emily next week for more dates, more kisses and more drama. Were you as disturbed as I was when the previews revealed Arie dated a crew member? I don't like the sound of this... see you next week!