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Imam Khalid Latif

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Ramadan Reflection Day 7: Come, Come Whoever You Are

Posted: 08/07/11 02:47 PM ET

Imam Khalid Latif is blogging his reflections during the month of Ramadan, featured daily on HuffPost Religion. For a complete record of his previous posts, click over to the Islamic Center at New York University or visit his author page, and to follow along with the rest of his reflections, sign up for an author email alert above.

I've seen so many new faces this Ramadan at our Islamic Center at NYU. In this first week I've met a lot of new people and reconnected with some that I haven't seen in a really long time. You could probably call them "Ramadan Muslims". I used to be one myself -- actually, I probably couldn't even be called that.

Growing up, I didn't really have a sense of ownership over my religion and to make matters worse it seems like I always was doing things that were wrong. There weren't many that made me think I could be anything better. I felt quite low at times after interacting with some who made me feel I didn't have a place to belong in the community and the worst part about it? I believed it. I believed every look of perceived condescension, I believed every murmur and whisper, I believed every glare and judgmental comment and never thought twice about it. It was easier not to. People who "looked" Muslim thought I was bad and I thought they must have known what they were talking about since they looked the part so well.

In retrospect, there were definitely people who treated me poorly. But I myself also played a role in how I felt by already presuming that I wouldn't fit in and that people wouldn't accept me. It can be quite daunting to walk into a room where you either are different from everyone, or you believe you are different, you know no one, and you are also embarrassed that most of the people there have probably been there for years while you are still trying to figure out the basics. Where most people were in the wrong wasn't because they were being jerks and making me feel like I shouldn't have come. The only mistake that most made was not making a concerted effort to realize that there were people like me who were nervous being there and understanding that they could alleviate a lot of that fear just by smiling at me and saying welcome.

Come, come, whoever you are.
Wanderer, worshipper, lover of leaving -- it doesn't matter,
Ours is not a caravan of despair.
Come, even if you have broken your vow a hundred times,
Come, come again, come. ~ rumi

Gatherings that aim to encompass an element of the Divine to them are not meant to be exclusive, as the very essence of the Divine is that of total unity, it is that of Oneness. When we contrast those gatherings to our own, we find that ours are defined not necessarily based off of who we let in, but who we keep out. I used to work at Princeton University, undoubtedly quite prestigious in its reputation. If Princeton, like most other colleges, started to let anyone into its gates, it wouldn't have the reputation it does. You need to have a certain GPA, a certain SAT score and set of extracurricular activities. If Princeton just started letting everyone in, then it wouldn't be Princeton any longer. Most of our gatherings tend to function off the same principle. But if you contrast this to gatherings that have an element of the Divine to them, you can find the best of people in God's house and the most wretched, and it doesn't take away for His divine majesty.

The Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, said, "Allah is kind and loves kindness and gives for gentleness what he does not give for harshness nor for anything else."

No one asks why did God let someone who is poor, someone who is of a certain race or gender, someone who made a mistake or erred, or someone who knows very little about their faith into this place? It's usually us as people who, claiming to act in His name, raise those questions. When we do so, we are painting a very poor picture of what Islam is actually about and even worse, how God actually is.

Jarir ibn 'Abdullah, a companion of the Prophet, said, "I heard the Messenger of Allah say, 'He who is deprived of kindness and gentleness is, in fact, deprived of all good.'"

Not everyone knows everything about their faith, nor are they meant to. But everyone is entitled to being encouraged to do their very best. It's simple things that keep us together. A kind word or smile can do a lot for someone who is just trying to figure out for themselves where they fit in and belong. I used to be a Ramadan Muslim and it was the kindness of a couple of people that made me believe I could be more than that. Be the reason that someone feels like they can stick around, not the reason that they feel like they should never come back.

 

Follow Imam Khalid Latif on Twitter: www.twitter.com/KLatif

Imam Khalid Latif is blogging his reflections during the month of Ramadan, featured daily on HuffPost Religion. For a complete record of his previous posts, click over to the Islamic Center at New Yor...
Imam Khalid Latif is blogging his reflections during the month of Ramadan, featured daily on HuffPost Religion. For a complete record of his previous posts, click over to the Islamic Center at New Yor...
 
 
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12:59 AM on 08/08/2011
you know -- I think many of these comments about whether gay people would be accepted in 'islam' are missing the point. first, its impossible to say who is "accepted by islam" in general, as islam has billions of interpretations (in fact, it is in a real sense interpreted slightly differently by everyone who practices, in the way all religions are), and different muslims have different positions and beliefs on homosexuality. BUT, i do think the Khalid's point was that ALL are accepted and welcomed in his (and many others') interpretation of islam, and specifically in his community (icnyu), and that he is encouraging other muslims to have an equally open and welcoming attitude. in the end, it is no one's business but Allah's to judge, so we need not ask about people's sexual orientation --- that's their own business with Allah. what we as good Muslims can do is open the door, welcome all, share our passion and knowledge and beliefs.
03:06 AM on 08/08/2011
in all honesty, as a muslim, i care not for what a person's sexual preference is. it isn't my place to judge.
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media4me2
09:32 AM on 08/08/2011
What does Allah say?
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12:35 AM on 08/08/2011
Belief in omnipotent, father-like, mythological beings seems to me to be clear evidence of insanity.
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AxisV
How do we sleep while our beds are burning?
02:57 AM on 08/08/2011
The vast majority of the world believes in some sort of higher power than themselves. So the majority of the world is insane, by your measure.
09:45 AM on 08/08/2011
I think it will be hard(er) to argue that the vast majority of the world is sane.
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sandalwood
songs of the shamans...
10:05 AM on 08/08/2011
"Higher power" need not be seen as a father-like, law giving mythic being. To do so is clearly a human projection, or has it been verified that a law giving personality rules all?
03:10 AM on 08/08/2011
Where does the "father-like" concept factor into your equation?

And where does insanity factor into your belief that all transitionary species somehow disappeared (even their fossil evidence), yet the original species from which they "evolved" still exist today in their same, original form?
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sandalwood
songs of the shamans...
10:20 AM on 08/08/2011
The father like factor is seen in the law giving feature.
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Caru
Politics is fun to watch.
05:09 PM on 08/07/2011
What's the food like?
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season555
Allaah knows best
06:23 PM on 08/07/2011
Really good and from all over. You have the Americans, Indians, Pakistanis, Africans, Afghans, Bosnians every one bringing their own food. Try it once you may like it. Oh and you won't be asked to pay anything.
06:30 PM on 08/07/2011
Don't try Indian food... Hahha jk, but seriously! Actually try biryani, it's pretty good and also Arab food is really delicious as well.
04:29 PM on 08/07/2011
That's a nice invitation. Does it also apply to someone who is gay? By asking this, I don't mean that you will accept such a person because you accept people who are "wretched", who "made a mistake", or who "erred". Being gay, in and of itself, involves none of these things.

I mean will you accept them for who they are? Will you accept their relationships? Will they be accepted by your religion without being asked to change?

I see invitations like this from christians all the time. They sound really nice until you read the fine print. I'm curious to see if such an invitation from islam would carry the same restrictions.
05:16 PM on 08/07/2011
So you are becoming Muslim?
Or are you just picking a fight with a person who is speaking of love and of his beliefs?
Please take your hate somewhere else.
I'm not Muslim, or even religious, but decency, honor, and goodness are a beauty wherever they are found.
05:44 PM on 08/07/2011
So, asking a question equals hate? Does this rule apply in all areas of life, or is this rule only in effect when religion is involved?
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Alison Carabajal
Is this a joke?
08:37 PM on 08/07/2011
I don't see how that question was hateful in any way. Since when does honest curiosity equal hate? I am actually curious to the answer myself.
07:04 PM on 08/07/2011
Each religion has guidelines and "restrictions" in the sense that adherents are expected to follow the rules of the faith they profess. The word "Muslim" means "one who submits to God", which involves not only belief, but adhering to a lifestyle according to Islamic guidelines. The idea of submission involves a willingness to change; to be unwilling to change is seen as putting the ego of the self over the Divine.
09:58 PM on 08/07/2011
To use the analogy from the article, islam is more like Princeton then. There are requirements for membership and guidelines which must be followed. Come, come, whoever you are, but be willing to change.

I don't have a problem with that, by the way. All groups are like that, not just religions. It's no different than a vegan group refusing to host a pig roast. However, a group may want to be upfront about their rules before they issue an open invitation for everyone to join.

On the other hand, same-sex attraction is not the same thing. Every major psychological organization in the US has declared that same-sex attraction is not amenable to change. A willingness to change doesn't mean much if you're talking about a characteristic that is fixed.

So, my original question still stands. Does the invitation in the article include gay people or not?