An Open Letter to Cheryl Burke

Dear Cheryl,

I am very upset about all this talk about your weight. In my opinion, you are not only gorgeous (even with the five pounds) but one of the best dancers I have ever seen. With everything that is going on in the world today, it is hard to believe that your five pounds are making such a big splash.

As an eating disorder therapist, I have been trying to help people feel good about their bodies for years. In fact, I wrote an article http://www.eatingdisordertherapist.com/feeling_fat.htm about how to stop feeling fat several years ago. In the article I talk about ways to make yourself feel better when you are having a fat day. The problem is, however, that unless you are a size 2 or smaller you are considered fat. There seems to be no healthy middle ground. There is "perfect" (which means very thin) or fat. We don't even have words for women at a healthy weight. Fit comes to mind but you can be at a good weight and still not be fit. Svelte, means thin to me, average, medium, normal...

Since the average woman in the U.S. is 5'4" and 142 lbs. (at least from the stats I can find), the average woman in our country would be considered fat. She is having a fat day, everyday.

So who are these people who are jumping all over Cheryl for gaining a few pounds? Women who are way heavier, less successful, and not on TV, I would guess. If we ask men, I doubt many of them would be thinking fat, ugly, awful, but more like hubba hubba and/or where can I sign up?

Our culture/society has a long way to go in its treatment and view of women. We may have gained equality in areas where we weren't even allowed to set foot before, but we have found new ways to keep each other down. We have a woman running for V.P. who is basically against women. Go figure. We have gorgeous and talented Cheryl Burke defending herself on national TV for gaining five pounds. Go figure.

So Cheryl, I am routing for you on DWTS. You are one of the best dancers ever and one of the most beautiful. Thank you for being vocal about these attacks on your weight. By speaking out, by being our beautiful selves (whatever size) we can change things.

All the Best,

Irene Rubaum-Keller

Comments

[Leslib]

Man, I wish I looked like Cheryl Burke. She has a fabulous body and can shake what her momma gave her! Keep it up, Cheryl, you're gorgeous girl.

[Rockerbabe]

Anyone who wears a size 4, which Cheryl Burke does, is NOT FAT!!! She is curvy, gorgeous and a fabulous dancer. The rest of the critics should look so good.
In fact, the critics should come from behind their computers and identify themselves and give their reasons for abusing Cheryl in this manner. Cowards, show yourselves or shut the hell up.

[violettefemme]

I'd like to take the "a size 4 is not fat" arguement a little further, actually, and say that neither is a 6, or an 8, or a 10 or a 12, and up.

I'm 46 and can still remember my mother making comments about other woman along the lines of, "She wears a PERFECT 12" and this was considered the be all and end all of the perfect dress size.

A 12. Better yet, a "perfect 12".

I can also, sadly, recall a friend's 14 year old coming home from school in tears...she had worn some brand new jeans that day, and the size tag was sewn on the back pocket...and some girls had said, "Oh my god, you wear a size 5? You don't look that fat!"

It's time to end the war on women...we proved we are the mental matches to men, but now we have to measure up in a physical way...and it's all just a distraction to keep us, and our daughters, from feeling good enough to take them and their world on.

OBAMA-BIDEN 08---pro women=pro HUMAN

[gfk]

I hope Cheryl reads this letter! I hope everyone reads this. The way we treat women in our society has to change. It is just wrong. Cheryl isn't fat. She is beautiful and a great dancer. Thank you for writing this Irene.

[kelly1956]

My boyfriend thinks Cheryl's body is awesome. He loves that she's got some substance, that she's fit, that she's curvy. Every week on DWTS he says "she looks beautiful." I agree wholeheartedly. Cheryl, you are an amazing athlete - full of grace and so strong.

[Dindrane55]

HuffPost's Pick

Thank you for writing this. In my view, your comments are spot on. As a culture, given all the issues we're struggling with, we could use some perspective. Let's get our priorities straight, including celebrating the value of all people regardless of gender, ethnicity, orientation, etc. etc, and certainly regardless of anyone's weight, which does not strike me as an appropriate topic of judgment or discussion by anyone.

I agree with you, Cheryl Burke is a terrific dancer and a knock out at any weight.

[arachne646]

Another example of frank pathology displayed in public in a celebrity's life. Eating disorder symptoms are often commented on, usually admiringly, in female celebrities. I noticed Kelly Ripa has lost enough weight recently that her shoulder blades are showing from the back and the story commented on her lenghthy daily exercise routine, and that she loses her appetite when she is stressed.

A lot of us might risk our lives to lose weight, but what if, as in Hollywood, your body was your livelihood?

[Ockham]

Cheryl's hot. That's all I have to say.