An Open Letter to Oprah Winfrey

Dear Oprah,

First of all, let me say thank you for being such a verbal spokesperson for people who battle their weight. Yours has been a public battle for a very long time. Some of the time you are winning and some of the time, like right now, you are not. This is the story for so many of us with weight issues.

I am writing to you because I believe that once you "get it" and learn to control your weight permanently, you can help so many of the people who follow you religiously. I am hoping you see this letter and want to refer you to my previous blog entitled, "The Secret to Permanent Weight Control". In it, I outline exactly what you need to do to be the weight you want to be and stay there. It is not magic, it is not easy, but it is simple and straight forward.

I myself used to be heavy and have lost over 50 pounds and kept it off for over 18 years. I too went on a medically supervised liquid diet and lost a lot of weight only to put most of it back on and have had to work it back down again. Since then, I have not only learned how to control my weight but I have become a licensed psychotherapist with a specialty in eating disorders. In addition to my private practice, I now run the support group at the obesity clinic at UCLA, where I was a patient in l990. Full circle, so to speak.

You do not need a personal trainer, a personal chef, a diet program, a cleanse, or anything of the kind. You can eat fried food, grits, gravy and even French fries. You do need to keep track of what you eat, your weight and how much you burn with exercise. Don't take my word for it, there is now much research to back up what I have learned and have been teaching people for years. There is the recent study of over 1700 people on the benefits of keeping a food log, where those who did lost twice as much weight as those who did not. There is the National Weight Control Registry where they have been tracking over 5,000 weight loss masters (people who have lost over 30 lbs. and kept it off for at least a year) since 1994. The Registry has been releasing their information as it comes in and so far it backs up everything I teach and practice.

Your body counts calories. That is how it determines what you weigh. Yes, it can be affected by your thyroid (I take synthroid myself), which I assume you have addressed and gotten under control. Beyond that, in order to lose weight you need to take in less calories than you burn. If you understand that and can keep track, learn the calories and portion sizes of the foods you eat, you can do this Oprah.

Good luck!

If you would like to participate in the research for Irene's new book about the process of weight loss, please visit http://www.eatingdisordertherapist.com/and take the survey.

Comments

[luvobama]

One sure way to live longer is to lower your caloric intake. Americans eat way more food, more often than we need. i consume on average 1300 to 1500 calories a day. I am 5'8 and weigh between 118 and 123lbs. I'm 47 and have had 4 children. I get a decent amount of exercise and I eat what I want. I have never eaten artificial sweeteners or low fat, non fat etc. I try to eat my food as close to it's natural state as possible. Not a lot of processed food. Fast food-NEVER. It's common sense.

[Irene Rubaum-Keller - Huffpost Blogger]

Yes luvobama, you are so right. Common sense is not very present in our current culture when it comes to diet and weight control. There is a group called the Calorie Restriction Society that believe, and there is some science to back them up, that less is more when it comes to food intake. Good for you.

[dstanley]

The body counts nutrition, not calories. High calorie motor oil won't make you fat, and low calorie gravel won't make you skinny. Your body craves nutrition, and if you eat low nutrition food, your body will feel hungry, and make you eat more and more and more, until you get the nutrition you need. Most lo-cal food is also low nutrition, so after eating it for a while you end up malnourished and starving, so of course you gain your weight back.

[gfk]

Sorry dstanley but you are wrong. The body counts calories and you can't find more nutritious foods than fruits, vegetables, lean proteins and whole grains. All relatively low calorie foods.

[PietPassword]

Excuses for what used to be called gluttony. YOU are in charge not your body, YOU decide to stop eating, you don't have to keep on gorging because your body says it needs more. Get back in control, you're just addicted to food.

[Promise]

Well, dear Oprah has opened herself up to a field day of experts who will give her advice. Who among us really knows what causes Oprah's weight battle and what will "fix" it permanently? I don't but I'll put my two cents in with everyone else. It's well known that unresolved emotions can cause overeating and in Oprah's case, she had plenty to overcome. She has shared the fact that she was sexually abused as a child and she's also said on several occasions that she has never had professional psychological help. She said she didn't need it, cuz she had her best friend, Gayle, to talk with every day. Well, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to connect the dots. I'm surprised that this columnist, who is a therapist hasn't even touched on that. Imho, Oprah needs to heal that deep old stuff and then start counting the calories. There must be some reason why none of her diets/exercise programs for the past twenty years haven't worked. Also, there's the business of her avoiding marriage.

Oprah is wonderful human being and has done immeasurable good for the world. I wish her many blessings and I hope she finds the answers she is truly seeking.

[Irene Rubaum-Keller - Huffpost Blogger]

Hello Promise,
You are right that emotional eating is a factor in why some people take in more calories than they burn and hence, gain weight. However, they gained weight because they took in more calories than they burned, not because of their emotions. You can learn to take in less calories and change the behavior without going into the emotions and the why of the eating. You are also right that it is better to address both, but not necessary.

[jubilat]

as a role model for so many women, oprah's current attitude is disgusting. her message should be of self-acceptance and love and struggle and life. she has accomplished much and has lived an eventful life. any woman struggles with appearance and weight and with overwhelming and constant messages from the media about how to lose "unwanted pounds". the pressure is amazing. your advice is decent -- you're right, it doesn't just happen. calories in calories out -- but misses the point. oprah looks amazing and has the makeup, hair and stylist team to compensate for those "fat days" on the outside. on the inside, her struggle is deeply humanizing and i think every woman needs to hear it. not out of shame but out of shared experience. we've all been there. we are not "cumbersome burdens".

[Irene Rubaum-Keller - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi Jubilat,

Thanks for your comment. I agree with you that Oprah looks good at her current weight, and if she were happy with it, it would be a non-issue. The fact that she is unhappy with it and feeling shame around it is what we are all reacting to.

[staypositive]

Your advice is true and valuable. But it is so basic (calories in-calories out) that it seems that there should be a more "exciting" and less tedious way of ridding ourselves of this cumbersome burden. I would tell Oprah, as you have, that it is tedious, but it is a learning process. One of the main obstacles to overcome is the need to be perfect. We are all human, we slip all the time! Staying on track (writing it down) even though one may overeat for a day, a week, or even a month, is a big difficulty. But being accountable to oneself by not running away from an overeating period or a binge, and beginning again where one left off, seems to be crucial to dealing with the emotional side of the issue. Now that I have convinced myself to find my food journal and start over, maybe I, too, can make progress.

[Irene Rubaum-Keller - Huffpost Blogger]

You are so right, staypositive, that it can be very hard to write it all down when you are overeating and having to write down some big numbers. This is part of what makes writing it down so powerful. If you force yourself to look at it and pay attention, you can eventually get a handle on it. You have to face it to change it. It sounds like you really understand it. Good luck.

[Ben Dixon]

I can understand Oprah being upset with herself for her weight if she set a personal goal of trying to maintain a certain weight. However, she shouldn't feel upset about the way she looks to the world. In my humble opinion Oprah is still hot even at her current weight.

[gfk]

Just goes to show you, you can't pay anyone to lose weight for you. Oprah, follow Irene's advice and start writing it all down. I have lost 45 pounds so far doing just that. It is tedious and there are some days where I don't do it, but it is so worth the effort. You become totally aware of what you are taking in. Go Oprah!!!

[Irene Rubaum-Keller - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi gfk. Thanks for your comment and congrats on the good work. Yes, the food log keeps you awake, aware and accountable. Not fun, I know, but as you say "so worth the effort".